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Feeling Frustrated

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It's been a year since graduation of college.
I'm totally out of my mind now, everyone around me is advancing while i'm still in the same old place like a year ago. Writing the same kind of spegetthy code to make living makes me feel so guilty. All of the new technology, those buzz words are still only "Buzz Words" to me.
My English writing is awful. It's hard to complete even a 500-word paragraph. It's hard to even express myself.
Every time i look up into the sky i just can't see my future. I feel like crying. I'm just constantly asking myself: "Where am I going?".

I want to do things that I like! I want to work with the people that I like! I want to get marry with the one that I love! I want to spend more time with my family! I just want to be myself!

I want to try harder, but don't know how!

Where am I? Where am I going?

What shall I do?

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