新黑客-q-密-解-器_关系黑客-正念-默认情况下不生活

新黑客-q-密-解-器

新黑客-q-密-解-器

Setting the Defaults

I'm setting a goal for myself to finish my half-finished book relationshiphacks.com this year. In an attempt to make that happen (and because the recent podcast with my wife was wildly popular) I'm going to try to blog some guiding principles. Then I'll attempt to collect the feedback and comments, improve the posts, then move them into the book. Yesterday I posted about "An allowance system for adults."

我正在为自己设定一个目标,以完成今年我半完成的图书Relationshiphacks.com 。 为了实现这一目标(由于最近与妻子的播客非常受欢迎),我将尝试写一些指导性原则。 然后,我将尝试收集反馈和评论,改进帖子,然后将其移入书中。 昨天我发表了有关“成人津贴制度”的文章

In this post on I want to touch briefly on the concept of "mindfulness." When I was younger I didn't know this term so I said "don't live your life by default." Phrased alternatively, "don't let your life happen by default."

在这篇文章中,我想简单地谈谈“正念”的概念。 在我小的时候,我不知道这个词,所以我说“不要过默认的生活”。 换句话说,“不要让您的生活默认发生”。

I mentioned it years ago on a podcast and Paul Apostolos did a very nice blog post where he paraphrased:

我几年前在播客上提到它,而保罗·阿波斯托洛斯( Paul Apostolos)在一篇非常不错的博客文章中表示:

Teach your children to make life choices rather than just let life happen to them.

教您的孩子做出生活选择,而不仅仅是让生活发生在他们身上。

Now, to be clear, stuff happens and this isn't always possible. There's luck, there's planning, there's inherent privilege, but the root idea of mindfulness and awareness is crucial. As they say, "Luck Is what happens when preparation meets opportunity"

现在,要明确地说,事情发生了,而这并非总是可能的。 有运气,有计划,有天生的特权,但是正念和意识的根本思想至关重要。 就像他们说的那样:“好运遇见机遇会发生什么?”

I met with a young mentee today who is considering not just leaving her job but also moving to a totally different career. What I appreciated about her perspective and questions was that she clearly was going into the future fully aware of the possibilities. She embraced both the potential good and bad possibilities with a conscious and mindful awareness that was inspiring.

今天我遇到了一位年轻的实习生,他不仅考虑辞职,而且考虑转行另一种职业。 我对她的观点和问题表示赞赏的是,她很清楚将来会充分意识到各种可能性。 她以鼓舞人心的意识和正念来拥抱潜在的好事坏事。

She wasn't going to just "let whatever happen, happen." She wasn't going to just start the game and accept the defaults. She is opening up the options menu of life and trying to change the settings consciously.

她不会只是“任由发生,发生”。 她不会只是开始游戏并接受默认值。 她正在打开生活的选项菜单,并试图自觉地更改设置。

I'm doing my best to teach my kids this, hopefully by example. Yes there are things they can't change about themselves, but the one thing they can change (or try) is how they think and how they act. I catch them saying things like "I'm not good at math." They have tapes that are already starting to run in their little heads that feed them negativity and inaction. The defaults are just doing nothing. Humans (myself included) can be very lazy. I want them to build up their reservoirs of self-esteem and "I can do it" so they don't accept the defaults.

我正在尽全力教我的孩子,希望以身作则。 是的,有些事情他们自己无法改变,但是他们可以改变(或尝试)的一件事就是他们的思维方式和行为方式。 我发现他们说“我数学不好”。 他们的磁带已经开始在他们的小脑袋中运转,使他们变得消极和无所作为。 默认值不执行任何操作。 人类(包括我自己)可能非常懒惰。 我希望他们建立自尊心,“我能做到”,这样他们就不会接受默认值。

Do you have any stories of where you "woke up" and realized you were coasting (perhaps for a week, perhaps for years) and were just accepting the defaults in your life? How did you break out of that thinking?

您是否有关于您“醒来”的故事,并意识到自己在滑行(也许一周,也许多年),并且刚刚接受生活中的默认设置? 您是如何摆脱这种想法的?

翻译自: https://www.hanselman.com/blog/relationship-hacks-mindfulness-dont-live-your-life-by-default

新黑客-q-密-解-器

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