Dear Co-Workers and Managers,
As many of you probably know, today is my last day. But before I leave, I want
ed to take this opportunity to let you know what a great and distinct pleasure
it has been to type "Today is my last day."
For nearly as long as I "ve worked here, I "ve hoped that I might one day leav
e this company. And now that this dream has become a reality, please know that
I could not have reached this goal without your unending lack of support. Wor
ds cannot express my gratitude for the words of gratitude you did not express.
I would especially like to thank all of my managers both past and present but
with the exception of the wonderful Saroj Hariprashad: in an age where miscomm
unication is all too common, you consistently impressed and inspired me with t
he sheer magnitude of your misinformation, ignorance and intolerance for true
talent. It takes a strong man to admit his mistake - it takes a stronger man t
o attribute his mistake to me.
Over the past seven years, you have taught me more than I could ever ask for a
nd, in most cases, ever did ask for. I have been fortunate enough to work with
some absolutely interchangeable supervisors on a wide variety of seemingly id
entical projects - an invaluable lesson in overcoming daily tedium in overcomi
ng daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium.
Your demands were high and your patience short, but I take great solace knowin
g that my work was, as stated on my annual review, "meets expectation." That
is the type of praise that sends a man home happy after a 10 hour day, smilin
g his way through half a bottle of meets expectation scotch with a meets expec
tation cigar. Thanks Trish!
And to most of my peers: even though we barely acknowledged each other within
these office walls, I hope that in the future, should we pass on the street, y
ou will regard me the same way as I regard you: sans eye contact.
But to those few souls with whom I "ve actually interacted, here are my person
alized notes of farewell:
To Philip Cress, I will not miss hearing you cry over absolutely nothing while
laying blame on me and my coworkers. Your racial comments about Joe Cobbinah
were truly offensive and I hope that one day you might gain the strength to ap
ologize to him.
To Brenda Ashby whom is long gone, I hope you find a manager that treats you a
s poorly as you have treated us. I worked harder for you then any manager in m
y career and I regret every ounce of it. Watching you take credit for my work
was truly demoralizing.
To Sylvia Keenan, you should learn how to keep your mouth shut sweet heart. Ba
d mouthing the innocent is a negative thing, especially when your talking abou
t someone who knows your disgusting secrets. ; )
To Bob Malvin (Mr. Cronyism Jr), well, I wish you had more of a back bone. You
threw me to the wolves with that witch Brenda and I learned all too much from
it. I still can "t believe that after following your instructions, I ended up
getting written up, wow. Thanks for the experience buddy, lesson learned.
Don Merritt (Mr. Cronyism Sr), I "m happy that you were let go in the same man
ner that you have handed down to my dedicated coworkers. Hearing you on the ph
one last year brag about how great bonuses were going to be for you fellas in
upper management because all of the lay offs made me nearly vomit. I never exp
ected to see management benefit financially from the suffering of scores of pe
ople but then again, with this company "s rooted history in the slave trade it
only makes sense.
To all of the executives of this company, Jamie Dimon and such. Despite workin
g through countless managers that practiced unethical behavior, racism, sexism
, jealousy and cronyism, I have benefited tremendously by working here and I t
ruly thank you for that. There was once a time where hard work was rewarded an
d acknowledged, it "s a pity that all of our positive output now falls on deaf
ears and passes blind eyes. My advice for you is to place yourself closer to
the pulse of this company and enjoy the effort and dedication of us "faceless
little people" more. There are many great people that are being over worked
and mistreated but yet are still loyal not to those who abuse them but to the
greater mission of providing excellent customer support. Find them and embrace
them as they will help battle the cancerous plague that is ravishing the mora
l of this company.
So, in parting, if I could pass on any word of advice to the lower salary reci
pient ("because it "s good for the company") in India or Tampa who will soon
be filling my position, it would be to cherish this experience because a job
opportunity like this comes along only once in a lifetime.
Meaning: if I had to work here again in this lifetime, I would sooner kill mys
elf.
To those who I have held a great relationship with, I will miss being your co-
worker and will cherish our history together. Please don "t bother responding
as at this very moment I am most likely in my car doing 85 with the windows do
One!
As many of you probably know, today is my last day. But before I leave, I want
ed to take this opportunity to let you know what a great and distinct pleasure
it has been to type "Today is my last day."
For nearly as long as I "ve worked here, I "ve hoped that I might one day leav
e this company. And now that this dream has become a reality, please know that
I could not have reached this goal without your unending lack of support. Wor
ds cannot express my gratitude for the words of gratitude you did not express.
I would especially like to thank all of my managers both past and present but
with the exception of the wonderful Saroj Hariprashad: in an age where miscomm
unication is all too common, you consistently impressed and inspired me with t
he sheer magnitude of your misinformation, ignorance and intolerance for true
talent. It takes a strong man to admit his mistake - it takes a stronger man t
o attribute his mistake to me.
Over the past seven years, you have taught me more than I could ever ask for a
nd, in most cases, ever did ask for. I have been fortunate enough to work with
some absolutely interchangeable supervisors on a wide variety of seemingly id
entical projects - an invaluable lesson in overcoming daily tedium in overcomi
ng daily tedium in overcoming daily tedium.
Your demands were high and your patience short, but I take great solace knowin
g that my work was, as stated on my annual review, "meets expectation." That
is the type of praise that sends a man home happy after a 10 hour day, smilin
g his way through half a bottle of meets expectation scotch with a meets expec
tation cigar. Thanks Trish!
And to most of my peers: even though we barely acknowledged each other within
these office walls, I hope that in the future, should we pass on the street, y
ou will regard me the same way as I regard you: sans eye contact.
But to those few souls with whom I "ve actually interacted, here are my person
alized notes of farewell:
To Philip Cress, I will not miss hearing you cry over absolutely nothing while
laying blame on me and my coworkers. Your racial comments about Joe Cobbinah
were truly offensive and I hope that one day you might gain the strength to ap
ologize to him.
To Brenda Ashby whom is long gone, I hope you find a manager that treats you a
s poorly as you have treated us. I worked harder for you then any manager in m
y career and I regret every ounce of it. Watching you take credit for my work
was truly demoralizing.
To Sylvia Keenan, you should learn how to keep your mouth shut sweet heart. Ba
d mouthing the innocent is a negative thing, especially when your talking abou
t someone who knows your disgusting secrets. ; )
To Bob Malvin (Mr. Cronyism Jr), well, I wish you had more of a back bone. You
threw me to the wolves with that witch Brenda and I learned all too much from
it. I still can "t believe that after following your instructions, I ended up
getting written up, wow. Thanks for the experience buddy, lesson learned.
Don Merritt (Mr. Cronyism Sr), I "m happy that you were let go in the same man
ner that you have handed down to my dedicated coworkers. Hearing you on the ph
one last year brag about how great bonuses were going to be for you fellas in
upper management because all of the lay offs made me nearly vomit. I never exp
ected to see management benefit financially from the suffering of scores of pe
ople but then again, with this company "s rooted history in the slave trade it
only makes sense.
To all of the executives of this company, Jamie Dimon and such. Despite workin
g through countless managers that practiced unethical behavior, racism, sexism
, jealousy and cronyism, I have benefited tremendously by working here and I t
ruly thank you for that. There was once a time where hard work was rewarded an
d acknowledged, it "s a pity that all of our positive output now falls on deaf
ears and passes blind eyes. My advice for you is to place yourself closer to
the pulse of this company and enjoy the effort and dedication of us "faceless
little people" more. There are many great people that are being over worked
and mistreated but yet are still loyal not to those who abuse them but to the
greater mission of providing excellent customer support. Find them and embrace
them as they will help battle the cancerous plague that is ravishing the mora
l of this company.
So, in parting, if I could pass on any word of advice to the lower salary reci
pient ("because it "s good for the company") in India or Tampa who will soon
be filling my position, it would be to cherish this experience because a job
opportunity like this comes along only once in a lifetime.
Meaning: if I had to work here again in this lifetime, I would sooner kill mys
elf.
To those who I have held a great relationship with, I will miss being your co-
worker and will cherish our history together. Please don "t bother responding
as at this very moment I am most likely in my car doing 85 with the windows do
One!