学习口语

 Why I Want a Wife?

I belong to that classification of people known as men. I am A man. And, not altogether incidentally, I am a single man.
  
Not too long ago a female friend of mine appeared on the scene fresh from a broken date—she dumped her boy friend.She is looking for another boy friend now. As I thought about her while I was surfing the Internet one evening, it suddenly occurred to me that I, too, would like to have a boy friend. Why do I want a boy friend? I would like to go back to school so that I can become academically more successful, be smarter, and, if need be, make my boy friend stupid. I want a boy friend who will work and drive me to school every day. And while I am going to school I want him to sms me every five minutes telling me that he misses me. I want a boy friend to call me ten times a day that he needs me. I want a boy friend who will turn whatever inundating sensations about me into words, and he must fax, telegram, mail and email them to me. He should be quite skilled with computer so that he is fond of making those sweet words into fancy and touching designs by taking advantage of his fascinating skills with Photoshop, 3Dmax, Maya, Illustrator, Freehand, CorelDraw, Macromedia Flash, and Adobe Director and Premier. His expression of his love must be manifested through enhanced multemedia technology that thrills all female creatures on this planet, but should only be directed my sole private way! He must tell me that he is the second happiest being on Earth because I am the happiest one.
  
I want a boy friend who will take are of my physical needs. I want a boy friend who will be always around when I need to carry anything heavier than two kilograms. I am physically able to do that myself, but I need a boy friend to show that he cares for me and he must appreciate doing that. I want a boy friend who enjoys going shopping with me as a bagman—carrying all the bags filled with my shopping triumphs. He won't go looking here and there for his things but follow me wherever I go. He will not complain but rather smile at me and ask if I am feeling tired. And If I am exhausted from walking, he will offer his walking shoes to me, and he wears my high-heel shoes himself. When we go home, he will be honored to carry me up the stairs on his back. As I am learning and he is working for income, he should have the convenience and be happy to pick me up from school every day. I need a boy friend to wait for me at the door of my classroom so that all my classmates are jealous of me having such a handsome boy friend.
   
I want a boy friend who will financially support me. A boy friend who is financially well-off in the first place. To put it straight, he will have over seven digits in his bank savings account. He has a car and a nice house. I want a boy friend who will never care about spending money on me, and who will see to it that all my demands are filled, be it new dresses, nice purses, exquisite stylish shoes, or the most cutting-edge digital products. I want a boy friend who will be generous to financially support my family. A boy friend who will give 10,000 yuan to my mother and 5,000 yuan at least to my father at any given holiday. Whenever he goes to my family, he will buy expensive gifts; whenever it comes to any of those meaningful days, he will buy me nice dresses or jewelries. On Valentine's Day, he will always remember to buy me a diamond ring. Yes, I need different size, shape and feel of diamond rings, so one piece every Valentine's Day is a must.
  
I want a boy friend who will not bother me with rambling complaints about a boy friend's duties. But I want a boy friend who will listen to me when I feel like talking about my female friends, female stars or just any minor issues that happen around me. And I want a boy friend who will always concentrate on listening to me talking about those things. A boy friend that will understand that I am not interested in machines, technology or cultural/historical knowledge, and therefore never attempt to talk about computers, DVD players, cars, HTML language, or ask me questions like which year Emperor Qian Long was born and which year he died.
  
I want a boy friend who will enjoy being obedient to me in front of my friends. A boy friend who never complains when I show him off to my friends, family members and relatives.
Sometimes I will intentionally humiliate him by laughing at his physical shortcomings such as his being too short, too bad-looking, too old, bald-headed, or too fat. He will happily accept that I am not trying to disgrace him, but rather enjoy him as a family member myself, and I am proud of him being so inferior to me, such a pretty and elegant woman people call snowwhite! I want a boy friend who will always be appreciative of whatever I say and do. He will enjoy being my slave listening to my orders; he will feel uneasy if I turn to him gloomy or angry; he will try every way he can to make me smile. For him, what life is all about is TO MAKE ME HAPPY.
  
I want a boy friend who is sensitive to my sexual needs. A boy friend who will make love passionately and eagerly when I feel like, and a boy friend who never asks for sex if I am not in the mood. I want a boy friend who always takes a good care of me when I am in MC, and never even gives me a sexual hint at that critical time. I want a boy friend who will hate oral sex and always work the traditional way. But he will be swift to change to whatever pleases my needs.I want a boy friend who will remember to use condom each time without my reminding. A boy friend who will never go to sleep immediately after a hot sex, and who will talk with me for whatever hours I see fit.
  
I want a boy friend who will be completely, unconditionally faithful to one woman solely on this planet, and that's ME! He will not look at any female critters between the age of 10 and 80. Even though some promiscuous women try to seduce, I want a boy friend who will remain cool, not even smiling at them. I want a boy friend who feels guilty even his eyesight have an inevitable contact with another woman's eyesight, and he will tell me that he has sinned and beg for my forgiveness. And I want a boy friend who understands that my romantic needs may entail more than strict adherence to one-boy-friend only. I must, after all, be able to relate to more excellent men as fully as possible.
  
If, by chance, I find another man more suitable as a boy friend than the boy friend I already have, I want the liberty to replace my present boy friend with another one.Naturally, I will expect a fresh, new life; my boy friend will silently walk away, and take with thim everything thatbelongs to him so that I can start my new life free of his influence. And when I am with a new boy friend, my ex boy friend will still love me and wait for me to change mind.
  
My God, who wouldn't want a boy friend?

我属于人称老婆的那一类人,我是一个老婆。而且, 并非偶然,我还是一个母亲。


不久前,我的一位新近离了婚的男性朋友出现在我的面前。他曾有过一个孩子,当然,孩子跟了他的前妻,他正在为自己重新物色一个老婆。一天傍晚慰衣服时,我想到了他。我突然萌发了我自己也要找一个老婆的念头。我为什么希望有个老婆呢?


我要重返校园,接受教育,以便能够经济独立,自食其力,必要时还能养活那些要赖我维生的人。我要找一个有一份工作并愿意送我上学的老婆。我希望有一个能够随时注意与孩子的医生或者牙医取得联系的老婆。我希望有一个能够保证孩子饮食得当、衣着整洁的老婆。我希望有一个能够替孩子缝补清洗衣服的老婆。我希望有一个能辅导孩子功课,安排其学业,保证其与同学们有足够的社交时间并能带他们逛公园、动物园等的老婆。一个当孩子需要特别照护时,能挤出时间陪伴其左右的老婆。因为我在学校的功课自然是耽误不得的。我的老婆须得有个妥善的安排,上下班要迟到早退,但又不能丢了工作,这意味着我老婆的收入有时会被扣掉些许,不过我想这一点我还是能够容忍的。不用说,我老婆上班时会把花钱找人看孩子的事安排好的。


我希望有一个能照料我身体需要的老婆。我希望有一个能够保持房间整洁的老婆。一个孩子们在前面乱丢乱扔她也在后面拾掇的老婆。我希望有一个能够把我的衣服洗得干干净净、慰得平平整整、缝补得完完好好,必要时还能够替我添置新衣服的老婆。我希望有一个能替我做饭而且烹调技术还很不错的老婆。我希望有一个会计划菜谱、采购必备食品、做好饭菜、笑脸侍应,然后我去学习时能够洗碗刷锅的老婆。我希望有一个我生病时能关心我,而且对我的病痛和耽误的学习有同情心的老婆。我希望有一个能够随全家一起度假的老婆,这样当我需要休息和移换地方时,有人能继续照料我和孩子。


我希望有这样一个老婆,她不会喋喋不休地抱怨做妻子的义务来烦扰我。 可当我感到需要解释我在学习中遇到难点时,我希望有一个能洗耳恭听的老婆。我希望有一个在我写完论文之后能替我打字的老婆。


我希望有一个对我的社交生活关照入微的老婆。当我和老婆应朋友之邀外出时,我希望有一个能对一切做出保姆般安排的老婆。当我在学校遇到喜欢的人想要款待时,我希望有这样一个老婆,她会把房子收拾得干干净净,会烧出一桌特别的美味佳肴,款待我和我的朋友们,当我们谈到彼此感兴趣的事情时她不会打断我们的雅兴。我希望有这样一个老婆,在我的客人们到来之前,为了不让孩子们打搅我们,她已经妥为安排,让孩子们吃过饭准备睡觉了。我希望有这样一个老婆,她能照料好客人的一应需求,使他们有一种宾至如归的感觉,她要确保他们有烟缸可用,能为他们送上餐前小吃,为他们添饭加菜,必要时还要替他们把酒杯加斟满,还要按照客人的口味给他们冲咖啡。而且我希望有一个能理解我有时需要独自外宿不归的老婆。


我希望有一个对我的性要求反应敏感的老婆,一个当我有性要求时能充满激情如饥似渴地与我做爱的老婆,一个能确实能让我得到满足的老婆。当然,我也希望有一个在我没有兴致时不主动提出性要求的老婆。我希望有一个能负起计划生育全部责任的老婆,因为我不想要更多的孩子了。我希望有一个对我性专一的老婆,这样我就不会因为争风吃醋而影响学业了。我还希望有这样一个老婆,她对我在性需求方面可能不会老老实实地严格遵守一夫一妻制能够表示理解。毕竟,我必须能够与尽可能多的人保持关系。


如果我偶然碰上一个比我现在的老婆更合适做老婆的人,我希望有休掉现在的老婆、重新另娶一个的自由。自然,我向往过一种新鲜的生活;我的老婆将抚养孩子,对他们全权负责。这样,我就可以无牵无挂。


当我完成学业找到一份工作后,我希望我的老婆辞掉工作留在家里,以便能够更全身心地尽做老婆的本分。


我的天啦,谁不希望有一个老婆呢?

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