计算机的用途价格或社会发展,高手请进，帮我修改一下英语作文

满意答案

yh5556

2013.10.27

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1.语法有一些错误。

2.你没有注明多少字，所以我就按200字的标准了。

以下括号是我修改的。

Form the chart we can see the change of average number of hours a student spends on the computer per week. It was only 2 hours per week in 1990.Then in 1995, it twice. But it changed a bit also in five years. As we can see, the amount became 20 in 2000. So what caused that change and was it good for college students? What’re the problems?

(Computer has become one of most useful tools in modern world. Therefore, people are spending more and more time on computer. Students are no exception. Form the chart we can see the obvious change of average number of hours a student spends on the computer per week. It was only 2 hours per week in 1990. In 1995, it doubled. But from 1995 to 2000, this number has a sharp increase, reaching 20 hours. What caused this great change?)

点评:

1.一开始就说“从图上可见”好像有点突然，最好有一句话或两句话作开头。

2.Twice是副词。不能说it twice，应该用double.

3.你写完之后，自己心中翻译成中文，念一下，看看有没有哪句话就算删掉也不会影响意思的，这样就不会显得冗繁。

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With the development of the social and improvement of the economic, as a result, the income of average person is increasing. Moreover, the price of the computer is cheaper. So it becomes very common for student to have a computer. Nowadays, the computer places an important role in our daily life, and has feet in many other fields. Thus, as college students, must know well how to use a computer effectively. So, the change is acceptable.

(With the development of the social economic, people’s living situation is improved. They have more money to spend on besides the necessities, such as computer, mobile phone and so on. Moreover, the price of the computer is getting lower and lower since entering the 21st century. It becomes very common for student to have a computer. )

1.这一段话很短，我建议你不用三点原因都写上去。

2.price是用high和low来修饰，不是用cheap和expensive的。

3.注意短语plays an important role，而不是place……

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And every coin has two sides. There are many problems around us college students. A lot of students use it to games or other ways, and there is a large amount of them indulge in it, so that their studies become bad. In my eyes, we should develop a good habit to use computers, let it becomes our assistant rather to addicted into it.

(So, is such change good for students? From my view, there are many problems caused by computer. A lot of students use computer only to play mages, and many of them have indulged in it. They spend less and less time on study. I think we should develop a good habit to use computers to let it become our assistant rather than addiction.)

every coin has two sides这个转折句在此处不适用。因为你上文不是讲电脑的好处，而是分析学生用电脑时间变多的原因。

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