Reflection

I don't know how to begin with this.

There are some people, who were tricked by God, yet who still try their best to bless other people and think of everything they could do to their beloveds, be it her child, a stranger, or, the whole world!

I'm really ashamed of myself sometimes. I didn't mean to be selfish, but actually I'm selfish, confronting those great guys. I think of only my self-fulfilling dreams, contriving only for myself, ignoring the need of others, even sometimes considering myself privileged of some people. Maybe that is the ultimate reason I didn't succeed, because I don't deserve it!

I was watching the Oprah Winfrey Show 20th Anniversary Collection, clip 2, Heart prints. It brought to the screen great stories of some ordinary people. There was a mother who was diagnosed with breast cancer when her little girl was only 1 year old and who was fighting to live and also prepared to die in all hours. She sat herself before the video camera and recorded her motherly wisdom trying to guild her daughter when she was no longer here. She was so considerable that she thought of almost every detail about what her daughter is going to confront as growing up to a young lady, She tried to teach her how to do a good makeup, how to choose a boyfriend... through the camera. And there is a young and once beautiful lady, when she was only 20 years old, a car accident, committed by a drunk young man, changed her entire life, totally! She was badly burnt, 60% of her skin was melt, but she strongly survived. After a serial display of her former photos, a photo of her after the accident stunned every audience! You can't image how great a trick God had played on her! But when the mother of the guilty boy came to her and couldn't help crying, she reached her burnt hand out and hugged the mother, heartfeltly whispered, "it's all right, it's all right..." And there was a little boy of 11 years old, he had just written a book of poetry to spread his message of peace, however, he was born with muscular dystrophy and could die at any moment. Everyone was deeply touched by his cute appearance, his smart conversations, his optimistic attitude, and most of all, his great consideration for the others, for the peace of the world. He was an angel who brought the most beautiful, most touching message to this unpeaceful world.

After the show, I can't help reflecting on myself. I have always lived in puzzles, not knowing what I was going to do, what I really want from life. I was almost wasting time! Why, utilizing all that time I could have done so much good to somebody, be it a smile to a stranger, a nice talk to a friend in bad mood, a hand to anyone who is in need. But instead, I buried myself in the sorrow of failure, blamed the environment for not providing me with good opportunities, disgusting some people around me for not being a good partner. I'm doomed to fail, if I continue on this way.

I thought about my attitude to things happened around me last night, coming to a conclusion that I'm a foolish conceited guy. I'm really sorry but that is the fact. That's the reason I do not get well with my new classmates, that's the reason I'm always unhappy, always unsatisfied, and that's the reason I get not success for long. I got to change it, and it starts from thanks giving, and then turns to give, to reciprocate. I have heard this word for more than once: give others things you once want badly but fail to get, help them get it, that's how you get happiness. I learnt it first from Ensler, and then from Oprah, who have striven to fulfill their life mission.

And I promise to myself today, I will learn to respect, love, thank and reciprocate the world around me, I will make it my life mission!