[爆笑事件]上课点名的尴尬

大二的时候,上法律课,我们法律老师有个癖好,喜欢提问,提问之前必高声重复一遍问题。有一次正在上《民法通则》,突然老师又提高声音开始提问,所有同学都恐惧地盯着老师,惟恐被喊到,因为老师以提问来代替点名,所以是看着点名册提问的,所以大家都不必低下头。“1 班25 号!”老师点道。 [


   一片沉默(张三正在发呆)……


“25 号张三!来了没有?”老师重复道,刷!整个教室的人都看着张三。


“没来!”张三大叫。全班人都愣了!不过很快又开始佩服张三的勇气了。


   “怎么没来的?”老师又问。 “他病了!”张三无奈,只得撒谎,全班一阵哄堂大笑。 “你是他宿舍的吗?”对于莫名其妙的大笑,老师也被搞糊涂了。

]

   “是的。”面对老师的盘问,张三脸都绿了。“太不象话了,回去告诉他,让他下午到办公室来找我!”全班同学又是一场大笑。


   “啊?!好。”张三头皮都开始发麻了,下午找谁替我去挨骂呢?就李四吧,唉,又得请那小子吃一顿了。  张三正在为逃过一个问题而庆幸,老师又补充道:“那这个问题你替他回答吧?”


   “啊!?”张三极不情愿地站起来,郁闷之情可想而知,教室里已经有人笑痛肚子了。“老师,能不能重复一下您问的问题?”


   “啊!!这个问题我已经重复了三遍了,你怎么上课的?”


   “不好意思,我没听清!”张三额头上已经有汗珠了。


   “那好我再重复一遍……”


   “我,报告老师,这个问题我不会回答。”张三想反正是一死,何必死得那么窝囊呢,于是理直气壮起来。


   “那好,下午2 :00 和张三一起到我办公室来!”所有同学都笑到喷血。


   从此,法律课无一人敢说某某没来。

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Foreword by Jack W. Crenshaw (the package’s readme.txt) TUTOR.ZIP This file contains all of the installments of Jack Crenshaw’s tutorial on compiler construction, includ- ing the new Installment 15. The intended audience is those folks who are not computer scientists, but who enjoy computing and have always wanted to know how compilers work. A lot of compiler the- ory has been left out, but the practical issues are covered. By the time you have completed the series, you should be able to design and build your own working compiler. It will not be the world’s best, nor will it put out incredibly tight code. Your product will probably never put Borland or MicroSoft out of business. But it will work, and it will be yours. A word about the file format: The files were originally created using Borland’s DOS editor, Sprint. Sprint could write to a text file only if you formatted the file to go to the selected printer. I used the most common printer I could think of, the Epson MX-80, but even then the files ended up with printer control sequences at the beginning and end of each page. To bring the files up to date and get myself positioned to continue the series, I recently (1994) converted all the files to work with Microsoft Word for Windows. Unlike Sprint, Word allows you to write the file as a DOS text file. Unfortunately, this gave me a new problem, because when Word is writing to a text file, it doesn’t write hard page breaks or page numbers. In other words, in six years we’ve gone from a file with page breaks and page numbers, but embedded escape sequences, to files with no embedded escape sequences but no page breaks or page numbers. Isn’t progress wonderful? Of course, it’s possible for me to insert the page numbers as straight text, rather than asking the editor to do it for me. But since Word won’t allow me to write page breaks to the file, we would end up with files with page numbers that may or may not fall at the ends of the pages, depending on your editor and your printer. It seems to me that almost every file I’ve ever downloaded from CompuServe or BBS’s that had such page numbering was incompatible with my printer, and gave me pages that were one line short or one line long, with the page numbers consequently walking up the page. So perhaps this new format is, after all, the safest one for general distribution. The files as they exist will look just fine if read into any text editor capable of reading DOS text files. Since most editors these days include rather sophisticated word processing capabilities, you should be able to get your editor to paginate for you, prior to printing. I hope you like the tutorials. Much thought went into them. Jack W. Crenshaw
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