老师的精典口误

1、男同学站在我左边，女同学站在我右边，其他人原地不动...结果就他没动。                                                                               
                                                                                                                                                      
                                                                                                                                                      
 2、有一天，外面下大雨，老师满脸雨水的走进教师，在讲桌前不知找着什么东西，找了一会就问前排的同学：“我擦纸的脸呢？”                                    
                                                                                                                                                      
                                                                                                                                                      
 3、线段a是线段b的一半，那线段b是线段a的多少呢？（全班皆静，后高论，半晌后）线段b就是线段a的两半（晕）。                                              
                                                                                                                                                      
                                                                                                                                                      
 4、初中，某数学老师讲方程式变换，在讲台上袖子一挽大声喝道：同学们注意，我要变形了！......                                                            
                                                                                                                                                      
                                                                                                                                                      
 5、一同学在下面闹，我们老师说；“你给我站到黑板上面去！”高难度啊！！！                                                                                
                                                                                                                                                      
                                                                                                                                                      
 6、我初中老师讲题目喜欢用投身其中...“我的底面半径是20CM，我的高是50CM，那么我......”下面有人说“是饭桶......”全班暴笑。                               
                                                                                                                                                      
                                                                                                                                                      
 7、高三数学摸底考，一男生问：老师，画图没有铅笔，是借一支还是用钢笔？老师答：随你的大小便吧。                                                        
                                                                                                                                                      
                                                                                                                                                      
 8、高中的代数老师：“说话不许出声音。”                                                                                                                 
                                                                                                                                                      
                                                                                                                                                      
 9、某日，我们高中数学老师跟我们讲函数周期表时，讲到“周期”二字时激动的走下讲台，对着全班同学说：“你们还不了解周期啊，真的是猪都比你们聪明。”然后他指  
 着第一排的一个女生说：“你知道什么是周期吗？你跟他们解释一下。”全班均晕倒。                                                                           
                                                                                                                                                      
                                                                                                                                                      
 10、我们初中时规定升国旗时要穿校服，结果总有一些人没有穿校服，或者是只穿裤子或者是衣服，然后每次升旗之前校长都拿着一个扩音喇叭在那里说：“有的同学不  
 穿衣服，有的同学不穿裤子，有的就干脆衣服裤子都不穿。”                                                                                                
                                                                                                                                                      
                                                                                                                                                      
 11、语文老师教赤壁的课文，说起曹兵在华容道互相践踏，感慨道：人流是可怕的......”