Solve for happiness

作者：Mo Gawdat
看完时间：2025年04月01日 星期二

The Book In 3 Sentences

1. 作者是 Google X 的首席商务官（又聪明又有钱的一波），他20 来岁的儿子在一次很平常的阑尾炎手术中去世了。这本书中的内容让他走出悲伤，转向快乐。主要介绍了 6+7+5 方法，六个Illusion（想法，自我，知识，时间，控制，恐惧），七个 Blindspot（滤镜，假设，断言，记忆，标签，感情，夸张），5 个真理（现在，改变，爱，死亡，设计）。总结：看破六个错觉，意识到七个盲区，坚持5 个究极真理就能快乐。
2. 快乐 = 你认为的生活中的事件 - 你的期望；多数不快乐都是当期望和事件不平衡的时候。这个快乐方程式在文中多次引用，简述了很多种发生的事件和自己所期望失衡的情况。
3. 简述了一些非常普遍并容易被忽视的东西，比如：认识自我，活在当下，不要尝试去控制所有事情，直面自己的恐惧，作为人的一些劣性根，人会自我扭曲记忆，会给人事物贴标签，会夸张事实

Impressions

书中有几个很有意思的想法是之前没有考虑过的角度。
换位思考一下，如果自己的孩子死于这种医疗事故，感觉会有一种怨恨和愤怒，可能是现在境界不够吧，受害者思维比较深；但是作者做到了关注自己能改变的，这种知行合一值得学习。
前半部分的讲解有几个具有实践意义，最后一小部分 Design 有点太虚了，看不下去，快速略读了。

How I Discovered It

DOAC podcast ，听Mo 讲了一些关于选择快乐的话，感觉挺有意思的。

还发现了他的播客 Slo Mo（目前没开始听）

How The Book Chnaged Me

💡How my life/behieviour/thoughts/ideas have changed as a result of
reading the book.

1. 探究了‘我’是谁这个话题，其中有很多排除项，比如我不是脑中的声音，不是我的想法，不是现在的躯体，不是取得的成就等等；要发现真正的自己是谁，确保所做的行动是由本身发出的；重点是要自己知道要做什么，做出选择；人可以选择不开心，也可以选择快乐。
2. 不要有受害者思维
3. 制作一个Happy List，发现真正让自己快乐的事情，然后多做。比如看着蓝天白云，云在风的吹动下慢慢飘过，让我感到快乐
4. 制作一个 Positive events journal，每天在生活中发现好的方面，记下来。越关注就会发现这种事情越多。
5. 大脑有欺骗性：
   a. 脑中的声音不一定是对的，要多思考一步
   b. 记忆不是那么可靠
   c. 对一些事情加工，让我们过度害怕，恐惧，担心
6. 活在当下，不要活在过去，也不要活在未来。这句话看着像废话，但是想一下有多少时间是在为过去发生的事情后悔，为未来担心，真正专注在当前的时间有多少。这是个计算题，算一下。
7. 做就要做到自己的最好；每次像第一次做一样，比前一次做的更好，并心怀骄傲。
8. 其中有两个举例挺好玩：
   a. 想象我们的一生只能有一辆车，不能换不能买卖，你会不会重视它，爱惜它，对它精细保养；现在把这辆车换车自己的身体，那些自己做出的伤害身体的行为是不是可以停止了，晚睡晚起，不体检，不在乎；对身体有用的是不是可以做起来了，坚持健康饮食，锻炼，磨炼大脑。
   b. 人生是租来的，生不带来死不带去，属于自己的只有这几十年的经历，所以说少些畏首畏尾，多去看世界，丰富自己；回首自己的一生，不要留太多遗憾。

My Top 5 Quotes

1. I don’t curse life and act like a victim. I don’t feel cheated. I don’t feel hatred or anger toward the hospital or the doctor, and I don’t blame myself for driving him there. Such thoughts would serve no purpose. I choose not to suffer. It helps me put life in perspective and move positively forward, sending Ali my loving wishes and keeping a happy memory of him alive.
2. 专注当下：
   a. If the past twenty years feel more like a week, it might be because you spent only a week of that time truly experiencing life, being fully present. For the remaining ten and a half million minutes you were just wandering around in your head. What a waste!
   b. Most of our thoughts, however, do come with a timestamp. They’re based in the past or in the future, which makes them far more likely to lead to unhappiness. To make a judgment you need to compare a current observation to one you’ve made in the past. To be anxious you need to think about the future and anticipate that it’ll be worse than the present. To be bored you need to long for a state other than what’s happening in the present. To be ashamed you need to re-create a moment that no longer exists. To be unhappy you need to focus on what you want that you don’t yet have. With the exception of pain, no one ever suffered from what was going on in the present moment.
   c. We keep adding to our bucket list, forgetting that the time to live that list may never come. Life is one long bucket list. Live it while you still can.
   d. Live before you die.
3. 平衡：
   a. Extremes exhaust us. Work too much, and you lose the joy of living; work too little, and you suffer from a feeling of worthlessness. Spend too much time with a loved one, and you’ll get bored and start arguing; spend too little time, and your relationship will fade. Talk too much, and you’ll never listen; talk too little, and you’ll never be heard and understood.
   b. Try reframing ambition so the focus is on the goal of becoming a better person regardless of how you compare to others. Even better, Look down. Work hard, grow, and make a difference in the world, but please feel good about yourself. Please stop looking at what you don’t have. What you don’t have is infinite. Making that your reference point is a sure recipe for disappointment—and a sure way to fail the Happiness Equation. Instead of looking at the few who appear to have more than you, look instead at the billions who have less. Yes—billions!
4. There is no painful death, only a painful life in its last moments before death.
5. Life Is a Rental. You can read this with sadness, or you can let the truth set you free. My whole life and all that I ever called mine is, essentially, a rental. I enjoy it fully while I’m the tenant, but sooner or later, I’ll happily hand it over to another. I find freedom in that. If nothing is mine, then nothing can be lost. So I let things come and go, and I experience them while they last. I love them wholeheartedly, enjoy them, and make them feel how much I appreciate them until it’s time to move on and let them get on with their own life.