Friends 01 01

01_01 The One Where Monica Gets a New Roommate

Monica: Theree is nothing to tell! He’s just some guy I work with!
Joey: C’mon, you’re going out with the guy! There’s gotta be something wrong with him!
Chandler: All right Joey, be nice. So does he have a hump? A hump and a hairpiece?
Phoebe: Wait, does he eat chalk?
Phobe: Just, 'cause, I don’t want her to go through what I went through with Carl-oh!
Monica: Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It’s just two people going out to dinner and not having sex.
Chandler: Sounds like a date to me.
Time Lapse.
Chadler: Alright, so I’m back in high school, I’m standing in the middle of the cafeteria, and I realize I am totally naked.
All: Oh, yeah. Had that dream.
Chandler: Then I look down, and I realize there’s a phone…there.
Joey: Instead of…?
Chandler: That’s right.
Joey: Never had that dream.
Phoebe: No.
Chandler: All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. Now I don’t know what to do, everybody starts looking at me.
Monica: And they weren’t looking at you before?
Chandler: Finally, I figure I’d better answer it, and it turns out it’s my mother, whitch is very very weird, because she never calls me!
{Time Lapse, Ross has entered.}
Ross: (mortified)Hi.
Joey: This guy says hello, I wanna kill myself.
Monica: Are you okey, sweetie?
Ross: I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck.
Chandler: Cookie?
Monica: (explaining to the others)Carol moved her stuff out today.
Joey: Ohh.
Monica: Let me get you some coffee.
Ross: Thanks.
Phoebe: Ooh! Oh! (She starts to pluck at the air just in front of Ross.)
Ross: No, no don’t! Stop cleansing my aura! No, just leave my aura alone, okay?
Phoebe: Fine! Be murky!
Ross: I’ll be fine, alright