耶鲁的毕业生们，我很抱歉
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如果你们不喜欢这样的开场。我想请你们为我做一件事。请你
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好好看一看周围，看一看站在你左边的同学，看一看站在你右边的同学。
请你设想这样的情况：从现在起 5 年之后， 10 年之后，或 30 年之后，今天站在你左边的这个人会是一个失败者；右边的这个人，同样，也是个失败者。而你，站在中间的家伙，你以为会怎样？一样是失败者。失败的经历。失败的优等生。
说实话，今天我站在这里，并没有看到一千个毕业生的灿烂未来。我没有看到一千个行业的一千名卓越领导者，我只看到了一千个失败者。你们感到沮丧，这是可以理解的。为什么，我，埃里森，一个退学生，竟然在美国最具声望的学府里这样厚颜地散布异端？我来告诉你原因。因为，我，埃里森，这个行星上第二富有的人，是个退学生，而你不是。因为比尔·盖茨，这个行星上最富有的人 - 就目前而言 - 是个退学生，而你不是。因为艾伦，这个行星上第三富有的人，也退了学，而你没有。再来一点证据吧，因为戴尔，这个行星上第九富有的人 - 他的排位还在不断上升，也是个退学生。而你，不是。
...... 你们非常沮丧，这是可以理解的。
你们将来需要这些有用的工作习惯。你将来需要这种“治疗” ` 。你需要它们，因为你没辍学，所以你永远不会成为世界上最富有的人。哦，当然，你可以，也许，以你的方式进步到第 10 位，第 11 位，就像 Steve 。但，我没有告诉你他在为谁工作，是吧？根据记载，他是研究生时辍的学，开化得稍晚了些。
现在，我猜想你们中间很多人，也许是绝大多数人，正在琢磨……我能做什么？
我究竟有没有前途？当然没有。太晚了，你们已经吸收了太多东西，以为自己懂得太多。你们再也不是 19 岁了。你们有了内置的帽子，哦，我指的可不是你们脑袋上的学位帽。 嗯 ...... 你们已经非常沮丧啦。这是可以理解的。所以，现在可能是讨论实质的时候啦 -
绝不是为了你们， 2000 年毕业生。你们已经被报销，不予考虑了。我想，你们就偷偷摸摸去干那年薪 20 万的可怜工作吧，在那里，工资单是由你两年前辍学的同班同学签字开出来的。事实上，我是寄希望于眼下还没有毕业的同学。我要对他们说，离开这里。收拾好你的东西，带着你的点子，别再回来。退学吧，开始行动。
我要告诉你，一顶帽子一套学位服必然要让你沦落 ...... 就像这些保安马上要把我从这个讲台上撵走一样必然 ...... （此时， Larry 被带离了讲台）
附演讲英文全文
ELLISON TO GRADS: DIPLOMAS ARE FOR LOSERS
Oracle CEO Urges Students to Drop out, Start up
NEW H***EN, CONN. (SatireWire.com) — In one of the more controversial commencement addresses in memory, Oracle CEO and college dropout Larry Ellison told Yale's Class of 2000 they were ""losers"" whose hard-won diplomas would never propel them into the ranks of the super rich.
The evangelical Ellison, noting that college dropouts Bill Gates, Paul Allen, and Michael Dell were, like himself, on Forbes' recent top 10 list of billionaires, urged freshmen and sophomores at the ceremony to ""drop out and start up,"" and added that the undereducated Yale security guards who ushered him off stage probably had a better shot at uber-wealth than graduating seniors.
What follows is a transcript of the speech delivered by Ellison at the Yale University last month:
""Graduates of Yale University, I apologize if you have endured this type of prologue before, but I want you to do something for me. Please, take a good look around you. Look at the classmate on your left. Look at the classmate on your right. Now, consider this: five years from now, 10 years from now, even 30 thirty years from now, odds are the person on your left is going to be a loser. The person on your right, meanwhile, will also be a loser. And you, in the middle? What can you expect? Loser. Loserhood. Loser Cum Laude.
""In fact, as I look out before me today, I don't see a thousand hopes for a bright tomorrow. I don't see a thousand future leaders in a thousand industries. I see a thousand losers.
""You're upset. That's understandable. After all, how can I, Lawrence 'Larry' Ellison, college dropout, have the audacity to spout such heresy to the graduating class of one of the nation's most prestigious institutions? I'll tell you why. Because I, Lawrence ""Larry"" Ellison, second richest man on the planet, am a college dropout, and you are not.
""Because Bill Gates, richest man on the planet -- for now, anyway -- is a college dropout, and you are not.
""Because Paul Allen, the third richest man on the planet, dropped out of college, and you did not.
""And for good measure, because Michael Dell, No. 9 on the list and moving up fast, is a college dropout, and you, yet again, are not.
""Hmm... you're very upset. That's understandable. So let me stroke your egos for a moment by pointing out, quite sincerely, that your diplomas were not attained in vain. Most of you, I imagine, have spent four to five years here, and in many ways what you've learned and endured will serve you well in the years ahead. You've established good work habits. You've established a network of people that will help you down the road. And you've established what will be lifelong relationships with the word 'therapy.' All that of is good. For in truth, you will need that network. You will need those strong work habits. You will need that therapy.
""You will need them because you didn't drop out, and so you will never be among the richest people in the world. Oh sure, you may, perhaps, work your way up to No. 10 or No. 11, like Steve Ballmer. But then, I don't have to tell you who he really works for, do I? And for the record, he dropped out of grad school. Bit of a late bloomer.
""Finally, I realize that many of you, and hopefully by now most of you, are wondering, 'Is there anything I can do? Is there any hope for me at all?' Actually, no. It's too late. You've absorbed too much, think you know too much. You're not 19 anymore. You have a built-in cap, and I'm not referring to the mortar boards on your heads.
""Hmm... you're really very upset. That's understandable. So perhaps this would be a good time to bring up the silver lining. Not for you, Class of '00. You are a write-off, so I'll let you slink off to your pathetic $200,000-a-year jobs, where your checks will be signed by former classmates who dropped out two years ago.
""Instead, I want to give hope to any underclassmen here today. I say to you, and I can't stress this enough: leave. Pack your things and your ideas and don't come back. Drop out. Start up.
""For I can tell you that a cap and gown will keep you down just as suredly as these security guards dragging me off this stage are keeping me dow...""
SatireWire.
请你设想这样的情况：从现在起 5 年之后， 10 年之后，或 30 年之后，今天站在你左边的这个人会是一个失败者；右边的这个人，同样，也是个失败者。而你，站在中间的家伙，你以为会怎样？一样是失败者。失败的经历。失败的优等生。
说实话，今天我站在这里，并没有看到一千个毕业生的灿烂未来。我没有看到一千个行业的一千名卓越领导者，我只看到了一千个失败者。你们感到沮丧，这是可以理解的。为什么，我，埃里森，一个退学生，竟然在美国最具声望的学府里这样厚颜地散布异端？我来告诉你原因。因为，我，埃里森，这个行星上第二富有的人，是个退学生，而你不是。因为比尔·盖茨，这个行星上最富有的人 - 就目前而言 - 是个退学生，而你不是。因为艾伦，这个行星上第三富有的人，也退了学，而你没有。再来一点证据吧，因为戴尔，这个行星上第九富有的人 - 他的排位还在不断上升，也是个退学生。而你，不是。
...... 你们非常沮丧，这是可以理解的。
你们将来需要这些有用的工作习惯。你将来需要这种“治疗” ` 。你需要它们，因为你没辍学，所以你永远不会成为世界上最富有的人。哦，当然，你可以，也许，以你的方式进步到第 10 位，第 11 位，就像 Steve 。但，我没有告诉你他在为谁工作，是吧？根据记载，他是研究生时辍的学，开化得稍晚了些。
现在，我猜想你们中间很多人，也许是绝大多数人，正在琢磨……我能做什么？
我究竟有没有前途？当然没有。太晚了，你们已经吸收了太多东西，以为自己懂得太多。你们再也不是 19 岁了。你们有了内置的帽子，哦，我指的可不是你们脑袋上的学位帽。 嗯 ...... 你们已经非常沮丧啦。这是可以理解的。所以，现在可能是讨论实质的时候啦 -
绝不是为了你们， 2000 年毕业生。你们已经被报销，不予考虑了。我想，你们就偷偷摸摸去干那年薪 20 万的可怜工作吧，在那里，工资单是由你两年前辍学的同班同学签字开出来的。事实上，我是寄希望于眼下还没有毕业的同学。我要对他们说，离开这里。收拾好你的东西，带着你的点子，别再回来。退学吧，开始行动。
我要告诉你，一顶帽子一套学位服必然要让你沦落 ...... 就像这些保安马上要把我从这个讲台上撵走一样必然 ...... （此时， Larry 被带离了讲台）
附演讲英文全文
ELLISON TO GRADS: DIPLOMAS ARE FOR LOSERS
Oracle CEO Urges Students to Drop out, Start up
NEW H***EN, CONN. (SatireWire.com) — In one of the more controversial commencement addresses in memory, Oracle CEO and college dropout Larry Ellison told Yale's Class of 2000 they were ""losers"" whose hard-won diplomas would never propel them into the ranks of the super rich.
The evangelical Ellison, noting that college dropouts Bill Gates, Paul Allen, and Michael Dell were, like himself, on Forbes' recent top 10 list of billionaires, urged freshmen and sophomores at the ceremony to ""drop out and start up,"" and added that the undereducated Yale security guards who ushered him off stage probably had a better shot at uber-wealth than graduating seniors.
What follows is a transcript of the speech delivered by Ellison at the Yale University last month:
""Graduates of Yale University, I apologize if you have endured this type of prologue before, but I want you to do something for me. Please, take a good look around you. Look at the classmate on your left. Look at the classmate on your right. Now, consider this: five years from now, 10 years from now, even 30 thirty years from now, odds are the person on your left is going to be a loser. The person on your right, meanwhile, will also be a loser. And you, in the middle? What can you expect? Loser. Loserhood. Loser Cum Laude.
""In fact, as I look out before me today, I don't see a thousand hopes for a bright tomorrow. I don't see a thousand future leaders in a thousand industries. I see a thousand losers.
""You're upset. That's understandable. After all, how can I, Lawrence 'Larry' Ellison, college dropout, have the audacity to spout such heresy to the graduating class of one of the nation's most prestigious institutions? I'll tell you why. Because I, Lawrence ""Larry"" Ellison, second richest man on the planet, am a college dropout, and you are not.
""Because Bill Gates, richest man on the planet -- for now, anyway -- is a college dropout, and you are not.
""Because Paul Allen, the third richest man on the planet, dropped out of college, and you did not.
""And for good measure, because Michael Dell, No. 9 on the list and moving up fast, is a college dropout, and you, yet again, are not.
""Hmm... you're very upset. That's understandable. So let me stroke your egos for a moment by pointing out, quite sincerely, that your diplomas were not attained in vain. Most of you, I imagine, have spent four to five years here, and in many ways what you've learned and endured will serve you well in the years ahead. You've established good work habits. You've established a network of people that will help you down the road. And you've established what will be lifelong relationships with the word 'therapy.' All that of is good. For in truth, you will need that network. You will need those strong work habits. You will need that therapy.
""You will need them because you didn't drop out, and so you will never be among the richest people in the world. Oh sure, you may, perhaps, work your way up to No. 10 or No. 11, like Steve Ballmer. But then, I don't have to tell you who he really works for, do I? And for the record, he dropped out of grad school. Bit of a late bloomer.
""Finally, I realize that many of you, and hopefully by now most of you, are wondering, 'Is there anything I can do? Is there any hope for me at all?' Actually, no. It's too late. You've absorbed too much, think you know too much. You're not 19 anymore. You have a built-in cap, and I'm not referring to the mortar boards on your heads.
""Hmm... you're really very upset. That's understandable. So perhaps this would be a good time to bring up the silver lining. Not for you, Class of '00. You are a write-off, so I'll let you slink off to your pathetic $200,000-a-year jobs, where your checks will be signed by former classmates who dropped out two years ago.
""Instead, I want to give hope to any underclassmen here today. I say to you, and I can't stress this enough: leave. Pack your things and your ideas and don't come back. Drop out. Start up.
""For I can tell you that a cap and gown will keep you down just as suredly as these security guards dragging me off this stage are keeping me dow...""
SatireWire.
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