Just think back to a recent uncomfortable conversation you had with someone -- a friend, family member or total stranger. Things were going well until the other person just laid it all out there: an unnecessary peek into his or her financial situation, sex life or health problems. No matter what you do, your view of an oversharer is forever changed。
只要想想你最近的不愉快对话–无论是与朋友、家人或陌生人:刚开始一切都很顺利,直到对方跨过界线开始刺探财务状况、性生活或健康问题。不管怎麼努力,你对过分分享者已永远改观。
If you haven't suffered through one of these conversations, your time will come ... or you are a walking diary。
假如你从未有这样的经验,也是时候了–除非你好比不限话题的行动日志。
Painful chitchat on a train is one thing, but workplace TMI is its own monster. At work, oversharing can damage your reputation, make your co-workers avoid you in the hallway and even damage your career。
在火车上痛苦的闲聊是一回事,工作上的TMI却是个可怕怪兽。工作时,过分分享会损坏名声,让同事在走廊避开你,甚至有害职涯。
Here are 13 things you shouldn't share while on the clock:
以下是13件不该在职场分享的事:
1. Medical history: Hospitals and human resources departments are prohibited by law from giving out your medical information for a reason. People have a tendency to adjust their behavior when they find out you have, or had, a medical condition. They might treat you like a sick child or make you an outcast。
1. 健康状况:法律禁止医院与人资部门泄漏你的健康资讯。当他人发现你有,或曾有过,健康问题,他们会倾向改变态度–待你有如病童或将你屏除生活圈。
2. Confidential work information: Hey, did you hear who's getting fired? You -- because you couldn't keep private information to yourself。
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2. 机密资讯:嗨,你知道谁被炒鱿鱼吗?就是你–因为你没办法保密。
以下3件事也要小心:
* 履历表是否需要新的首字母缩写。
* 即使憎恨同事也不能说出口。
* 找工作的网路诀窍绝不能示人。
3. Plans to quit: When you're hunting for a new job, don't let co-workers know. Loose lips or devious motives can mean your secret search finds its way to the boss。
3. 离职想法:当找寻新工作时,绝不能让同事知道。大嘴巴或恶意都可能将消息传入老板耳中。
Possible outcomes: you're let go before you're ready or you're quietly pushed out, which is what happened to Ron Doyle. He mentioned to some co-workers that he and his wife were deciding if one of them needed to quit. Doyle was just thinking aloud and had no intention of turning in his resignation letter quite yet。
可能结果:当真的离职前,你已经被炒,或是无声无息地被排斥–朗恩就曾有过类似经验。他向同事提及他与妻子正考虑是否其中一人需要离职;其实他只是想想,尚未打算递上离职单。
"Within 48 hours, I noticed the meetings through the office window -- every administrator present except one -- me," he says. "Communication on critical issues came to a halt and the separation was palpable."
“48小时内,我从办公室玻璃窗注意到每个会议都没有邀请我–每个人都在场,就除了我。”他说道。“每每谈到关键议题就打住,排斥更是显而易见。”
When he eventually quit, everyone was surprised. He explained how ostracized he felt, but they insisted that they had no idea they were acting that way toward him. "Never tell them you might leave -- subconsciously or otherwise, they'll act as if you already have."
当他终于离职时,大家都很震惊。他明白表示受到的伤害,但大家坚持他们并无意识到自己的作为。“决不要透露你的离意,否则下意识,大家会表现的好像你已经离开。”
4. Online venting sites: If you use your social networking profile or a blog to release frustration about your personal and work life, don't send your co-workers a link. You'll have to clean up your digital dirt (even more than it already should be) and censor yourself from now on。
4. 发泄情绪的网站:假如你有使用社交网站或部落格表达你对私人生活或工作不满情绪的习惯,决不要让同事知道链接。你将必须清除留过的不雅网络言论,以及从今开始停止这么做。
5. Matters of the heart: Soap operas are fun to watch on TV, but they're not fun to live. Your reputation will suffer if you come into the office in tears one day because you broke up with your significant other and then you dance down the hall the next week because you met the love of your life. Your love life isn't as interesting to anyone else as it is to you, and people may be unable to separate your romantic life from your professional one。
5. 心事:电视肥皂剧很有趣没错,但如果在现实生活中上演就没那么好玩。假如你因分手而泪眼婆娑,然后下星期又因新恋情而手舞足蹈,将会打坏你的名声。别人对你的爱情生活没那么感兴趣,而且也会导致他人无法分割你的感情和专业生活。
6. Politics: You've seen how out of hand political discussions can get with your family at the dinner table. Do you really want to start that kind of drama at work? Keep in mind that while your family is obligated to love you no matter what, co-workers are not。
6. 政治议题:你已体认过与家人吃饭时所聊的政治议题如何失去控制,你还要让这种戏码在工作岗位上演吗?谨记你的家人有义务无条件爱你,但同事可没有。
7. Salary information: Money's a weird topic in our culture. As eager as we are to find out what other people make, we're not as ready to divulge our earnings. Salary is associated with worth, and when your salary's known, it invites speculation of whether you're being over- or undercompensated. Why are you getting paid that much when another person with the same qualification earns much less?
7. 薪资:金钱在我们文化中是一个相当奇特的话题。我们渴望打听到别人赚多少钱,本身却没泄漏的打算。薪资与身价有关,当你的薪资被公开,大家就会开始臆测你的身价到底被高估还是低估,以及为什么你有资格领的比相同能力的人多。
Vicky Oliver, author of "Bad Bosses, Crazy Co-Workers and Other Office Idiots," also cautions that your accomplishments can be downplayed if this information is public. "You don't want your co-workers to snivel about how you 'don't need the money' every time your boss wants to give you a bonus." Avoid the drama and gossip and keep your salary to yourself。
《坏老板、疯狂同事、和其他办公室白痴》此书的作者维琪奥利福也告诫,此举会导致绩效被低估。每当你的老板打算给你奖金,你不会想要同事到处哭诉你并“不需要这笔钱”。避免流言的最好方法就是绝口不提。
8. Religion: See politics。
8. 宗教议题:如同“政治议题”。
9. Your privileged life: Along the same lines of keeping salary information to yourself, your enviable pull with society's high rollers should also stay private. Although you have the good fortune to know powerful business leaders and social butterflies, bragging about how many doors they've opened for you will tarnish your image。
9. 所享特权:正如薪资,别让别人知道你对上流人士令人又羡又忌的吸引力。虽然有幸认识有权势的公司老板和社交花蝴蝶,夸耀他们给的好处只会有损形象。
"Don't rub your privilege in other people's faces," Oliver warns. "People should be rewarded on the basis of merit." Bragging about how you got into an Ivy League school or even in your current position will put doubt about your qualifications。
“不要以此惹怒同事。”奥利福警告,“人们的奖赏应奠基于实力。”炫燿你如何进入长春藤名校或是目前职位将会使你的能力受到质疑。
10. Therapy sessions: Keep your visits with a therapist a private matter. Petty co-workers can start rumors about you or make snide remarks behind your back. No need to put yourself in that situation。
10. 疗程:决不要提起你任何的疗程。小心眼的同事会以此散发谣言或背地里说坏话,别让自己处于那种危机。
11. The Rubik's Cube that is your personal life: When Marci Diehl worked as a recruiter, she encountered a job seeker who came in to register with the staffing agency -- and she still remembers her over a decade later. The woman came in and explained that her boyfriend was waiting outside with her child because she didn't have a car and that speed was of the essence. Also, her son was not the boyfriend's child。
11. 私人生活:当玛西担任职业介绍所的招募人员时,她碰到一名永生难忘的求职者。这位女士一进门就开始解释因为她没车而她男友和小孩又正在外面等她,所以面试必须速战速决。接着又说,她儿子的父亲其实另有其人。
"Somehow in this tale about the boyfriend, she told us that the boyfriend was not a happy camper, because her 6 year old slept with them every night -- and they'd only been going together for a few weeks," Diehl remembers. Naturally, the agency had a difficult time placing her because she was a risky employee who didn't know when to keep her thoughts to herself。
“她还说她男友并不快乐,因为她6岁大的儿子每晚都跟他们一起睡,而且他们只交往几个礼拜而已。”玛西回忆道。想当然尔,介绍所为找到一个可以安顿她的职位而大费苦心,因为她是一位不懂如何藏起私人想法的高风险雇员。
12. Gossip: One of the big reasons you want to keep important information to yourself is to avoid the gossip it can spur. Well, don't play the gossip game either. Spreading rumors or secrets that you'd want kept secret isn't going to help your career。
12. 流言蜚语:你想要保密重要资讯的原因之一,就是避开伤人的流言蜚语。当然也不要主动散播对职涯无益的谣言或秘密。
13. Your Chris Rock routine: In an episode of "The Office," Michael Scott gets in trouble for repeating, verbatim, a Chris Rock stand-up routine full of racially charged jokes and cuss words. Comedians get paid to be edgy, daring and even offensive. You get fired for it。
13. 不雅言论:影集“办公室”中有一集,主角麦克史考特因不断重复充满种族歧视的言论与脏话而惹祸上身。剧中演员因尖锐、大胆和冒犯性的话语而付出代价,但你却会因此被炒。