What do I do if I already have a perfect girlfriend but I found another girl with a few better perks

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The grass make look greener but it is probably a astro turf.

看起来这么绿的草可能只是个人造草坪

grass：

If you live you girlfriend, then talk to her, community is key.

live：

If however you are immature and think woman are interchangeable for “perks” then let her move on to a guy who won't be looking at “perks” elsewhere.

immature：

 

Someone once said that ‘LOVE is not just a feeling it is a decision’ i understand the GF\BF thing……. you might still want to play around but if you want a long term relationship look around you,

 

all these couples you see that have been together for many years do you actually think they are still together because there are no other single, more beautiful, richer,”better” people out there than their current partner to date?

 

NO!! They are together because they decided love and build together. The choice is yours you can keep looking around for other girls or stick with the good one you have. 

This question is abhorrent.

abhorrent：

You are comparing two women like you might compare two computers or pieces of luggage. Weighing up their features so that you can make an ultimately selfish decision about which one might better fill your needs.

compare：

luggage：

Do you feel nothing for your girlfriend?

If not then I'd say you should tell her that so she can go find a partner that won't ditch her when something prettier comes along.

ditch:

prettier:

Women are people. You should communicate with them and form relationships with them. Not use them to accessorise your life.

communicate:

You've already read the other answers. I have, too.

 

 

Some are saying you're a jerk who's comparing two women as if they are objects, and you should break up with your “perfect” girlfriend and go somewhere and die.

jerk:

break up:

object:

Others are saying, hey, your girlfriend is perfect, you should stick with perfect.

I'm going to suggest that your thinking is messed up, offer another way for you to look at your situation, and let you make up your own mind.

There are two ways to think about possessing something: intrinsic and extrinsic. Many languages make a distinction between them, but English doesn’t. We just say “have” for both situations. And sometimes it messes up our thinking.

Intrinsic possession is where, if I take the thing away from you, I do you harm. You have a nose, you have a left thumb, you have a spinal column.

Extrinsic possession is where, if I take the thing away from you, I may tick you off, but I don’t injure you. You have a notebook, you have a guitar, you have a pair of shoes.

It seems to me, now, that you’re thinking of having a girlfriend like you would think of having a jar of pickles or a favorite coffee mug. It’s a thing you possess extrinsically, and if someone were to take her, you’d get mad but you wouldn’t be injured.

It also seems to me that it’s far more useful to think of having a girlfriend the other way. It may not be grammatically accurate, but I think it’s a useful fiction. There should be pain involved in losing her. You don’t “trade up” your ears when you find ones you think are cuter, you know?

Of course, it’s up to you. If you really do think of your girlfriend as a thing you can trade away or upgrade, then do what you will. It may hurt her, but it won’t hurt you. But there’s something about opening yourself to pain that makes it worth it.

 

My heart sinks when I see people act like their life parter is an accessory to their image. You aren’t buying a new smartphone here.

Lets just say that you can fall in love with 1 out of every 10,000 women you meet. There are roughly 350,000 awesome girls for you. Which one has the most “perks”? What about when you get old? What about the perk of having been with “a perfect girlfriend” for a long time? I don’t care how green that grass looks … you can’t get time back.

What about when you leave your girlfriend for this “better girl”, and she cheats on you and leaves you? Lies to you? Uses you for your money? How about she just pursued you to see if she can get you away from your girlfriend so that she feels pretty and wanted?

You are guaranteed to eventually meet someone who seems better than who you have. Have the strength to love an enjoy that new person appropriately without sacrificing what you have. Be her friend and nothing more. Make sure you don’t do anything with her, you wouldn’t do in front of your girlfriend. Don’t do anything you wouldn’t want your girlfriend to know about. Don’t do anything that would hurt her.

On a final note… if I don’t think my girlfriend is perfect for me … I have to make myself available to search for someone who is.

 

It depends. Often times, it is best to stick to what you already have because the grass is not always greener on the other side and sometimes the new and shiny thing is more appealing just because it is new and shiny and alluring because it's as of now unattainable. Sit by yourself with a clear mind and think things through. What attracted you to the current gal in the first place? Are you happy with her? How well do you really know the new girl? Which perks about her make her “"better”? Is it REALLY “better” or just different? In fact, how do you define “better”? You said you “"already have a perfect girlfriend”. A good girl is a rare gem and if you let her go, you may spend the rest of your life mourning “"the one who got away”.

NOW… with all this being said, a girlfriend is NOT a wife and certainly doesn't deserve the same level of commitment that a wife merits. If indeed it's SO obvious that this current relationship does not suit you and that this new girl really is all that you've ever wanted to the point where it can not be denied, then the choice is obvious. However, from what you have shared, this doesn't seem to be the case. No one will fulfill 100% of what you want. There will always be a 20% missing it just depends on which 20% you can live without vs which is a critical deal breaker.

Perhaps engage in some introspection and evaluate some shortcomings other people may see within you.

 

Don't ruin it.

If you've already found a perfect girlfriend then stick with her, honestly, I've made this error before. You will regret it.

You know your girlfriend really well probably so that's why you think she's perfect. But you don't know this other girl properly, do you want to take a gamble and risk finding out that this new girl isn't what you think? Or would it make more sense to stay with the perfect girlfriend? It's very likely if you take the gamble you're going to end up running back to the perfect girlfriend saying you “made a mistake” - perfect girlfriends don't like getting messed about. She’ll either refuse, or she’ll take you back and it'll never be the same again.

Stick with the perfect girlfriend, trust me. Don't risk losing something great for something else. It's not worth it.

Peace

 

 

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