7 Ways to Defuse a Difficult Encounter

At work or in the family life,we often encounter problem people.For example,The Hostile.The Rejection-Sensitive.The Neurotic And The Egoist.Learn to deal with them is important.Vancouver physician Susan Biali offers concrete steps for dealing with unreasonable person.

1. Minimize time with problem people. Keep interactions as short as possible.

2. Keep it logical. Communications should be fact-based with minimal details. Don't try to connect and reason with difficult people. Their response will often only make you more upset.

3. Focus on them in conversation. One way to avoid being the target of demeaning comments, manipulation, or having your words twisted is to say as little as possible. They are a far safer subject of conversation than you are.

4. Give up the dream that they will one day be the person you wish them to be. There are people in our lives who have moments when they seem to be the parent/partner/spouse/friend/whatever we've always wanted. Yet they end up disappointing or hurting us. Accepting the person as is can be a remarkable relief.

5. Avoid topics that get you into trouble. Before any interaction with a difficult person, mentally review the topics that invite attack and make an effort to avoid them. If your in-laws always demean your choice of career, change the topic immediately if they ask how your work is going.

6. Don't try to get them to see your point of view. Don't try to explain yourself or get them to empathize with you.They won't. And you'll just feel worse for trying.

7. Create a distraction. Play with a pet if there is one handy. Plan the interaction around some kind of recreational activity or entertainment. Or get the other person to do something that absorbs their attention (taking it off you). Just don't use alcohol as your distraction of choice. It will only make you more likely to say or do something that will set you up as a target or make you feel bad later.

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   原文来自http://www.psychologytoday.com，地址：http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201204/the-high-art-handling-problem-people