What I have lived for ? 我为什么而活——罗素自传序言



     我寻求爱情,是因为它带来狂喜,它是如此令人心醉神迷,我常常会为了这种短暂的欢乐而牺牲余生。我寻求爱情,是因为它能摆脱孤寂,身临这种难耐的孤寂。一 个人战栗的目光会瞥过尘世的边缘,直透那冰冷而不可测的无生命的深渊。我寻求爱情,还因为在爱的结合中,我看到了古今圣贤和诗人在梦想中描绘的天堂的神秘 缩影。这正是我追求的境界,虽然它对于人类的生活可能显得过分美妙了,但它却是我最终在爱情中发现的东西。


     爱情和知识,在其最大的可能中,将我引升到天堂。但悲悯之心总是使我回到现实的大地。那些痛苦的呼号在我心中回荡。忍饥挨饿的小孩,被压迫者欺凌的不幸 者,被子女视为可厌负担的孤苦无助的老人,以及这整个孤寂、贫穷和痛苦的世界,对于人类生活的理想,不啻是一种嘲讽。我切盼减缓苦难,但我无能为力,同时 亦身受其害。








              What I Have Lived For


Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind. These passions, like great winds, have blown me hither and thither, in a wayward course, over a great ocean of anguish, reaching to the very verge of despair.


I have sought love, first, because it brings ecstasy - ecstasy so great that I would often have sacrificed all the rest of life for a few hours of this joy. I have sought it, next, because it relieves loneliness--that terrible loneliness in which one shivering consciousness looks over the rim of the world into the cold unfathomable lifeless abyss. I have sought it finally, because in the union of love I have seen, in a mystic miniature, the prefiguring vision of the heaven that saints and poets have imagined. This is what I sought, and though it might seem too good for human life, this is what--at last--I have found.


With equal passion I have sought knowledge. I have wished to understand the hearts of men. I have wished to know why the stars shine. And I have tried to apprehend the Pythagorean power by which number holds sway above the flux. A little of this, but not much, I have achieved.


Love and knowledge, so far as they were possible, led upward toward the heavens. But always pity brought me back to earth. Echoes of cries of pain reverberate in my heart. Children in famine, victims tortured by oppressors, helpless old people a burden to their sons, and the whole world of loneliness, poverty, and pain make a mockery of what human life should be. I long to alleviate this evil, but I cannot, and I too suffer.


This has been my life. I have found it worth living, and would gladly live it again if the chance were offered me.