2021-05-23

Friends

There's nothing to tell. It's just some guy I work with. 没什么好多的，他只不过是我的同事。

Come on. You're going out with a guy. There's gotta be something wrong with him. 少来了，与你交往的男人多多少少有点问题。

So does he have a hump and a hairpiece? 他既驼背又戴假发？

wait. Does he eat chalk? 等一下，他是不是吃粉笔？

Just. 'cause I don't want her to go through what I went through wiht Car. Oh. 我只是不希望你重蹈我和卡尔的覆辙。

Okay. everybody relax. This is not event a date. 各位放松，这不算约会。

It's just two people going out to dinner and not having sex. 不过是两个人一起出去吃晚餐，而且不上床。

Sounds like a date to me. 对我来说这就是约会。

Alright, so I'm back in high school, I'm standing in the middle of the cafeteria... 我做了个梦，在中学时代，我站在餐厅中央。。。

... and I realize I am totally naked. 突然发现自己全身赤裸。

Oh, yeah, I've had that dream. 对，没错，我做过那样的梦。

Then I look down and I realize there is a phone there. 我低头一看，看见有个电话在那里。

Instead of ... That's right ！ 而不是。。。没错。

Never had that dream. No. 我没做过那样的梦，没有。

All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. 突然那个电话响了。

And it turns out it's my mother. 结果是我妈妈打来的。

Which is very-very weird because she never calls me. 这非常奇怪，因为她从来不会打电话给我。

Hi,
This guy says "hello", I wanna kill myself. 这家伙说 嗨的时候，我却想杀了我自己。

Are you okay, sweetie? 你还好吗，亲爱的。

I just feel like someone reached down my throat, grabbed my samll intestine. 我就感觉好像某人伸手进我的喉咙 抓住了我的小肠。

pulled it out of my mouth and tied it around my neck.从我的嘴里拉出来再在我的脖子上打结。

Carol moved her stuff out today. 卡罗尔今天搬走了她的东西。

Let me get you some coffee. Thanks   我给你拿杯咖啡。

don't ! Stop cleansing my aura. 不要，不要清理我的光环。

No, just leave my aura alone, okay? 不要管我的光环，好吗？

I'll be fine, alright? Really, everyone. I hope she'll be very happy. 我会没事的，好吗，真的，我希望她开心。

No, you don't. No. I don't. To hell with her. She left me! 不，你不希望。 是的，我不希望，叫她去死，是她离开了我。

And you never knew she was a lesbain. 你从来都不知道她是女同性恋。

No, Okay! 不知道。行了吧。！

Why does everyone keep fixating on that? 为什么每个人老是要提出来?

She didn't know. How should I know? 她都不知道。我又 怎么知道？

Sometimes I wish I was a lesbain. 有时候我希望我是女同性恋。

Did I say that out loud? 我讲得很大声吗？

All right, Ross, Look, you're feeling a lot of pain right now. 没事的，罗斯，你现在感到很痛苦。

You're angry. You're hurting. 你很生气，很伤心。

Can I tell you what the answer is? 我可以告诉你解决方法是什么吗？

Strip joints! 脱衣舞厅。

Come on ! , you're single. Have some hormones. 别这样。你单身了，有需求的。

See, but I don't want to be single, okay? 我不想单身，好吗？

I just wanna be married again. 我只是想再次结婚。

And I just want a million dollars! 而我只是想要一百万美金。

I just went to your building and you weren't there... 我刚到你那里去，而你不在。

and then this guy with a big hammer said you might be here, and you are, you are! 那个拿着大锤子的家伙说，你可能在这，你真的在这。

Can I get you some coffee? Decaf.  你想喝点咖啡吗。 无咖啡因的。

Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln High survivor. 好了，各位，这位是瑞秋，另一个林肯高中的幸存者。

This is everybody, This is Chandler and Phoebe and joey. 这就是各位，这是钱德勒，菲比，乔伊。

And you remember my brother, Ross? 还有你还记得我的哥哥，罗斯吗？

Sure！ 当然。

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So you wanna tell us now, or are we waiting for four wet bridesmaids? 那你现在可以告诉我们了吗 还是说我们在等着四位湿漉的伴娘？

Oh,  God! Well, it started about a half-hour before the wedding. 好吧，大概在婚礼前半个小时。

I was in the room where we were keeping all the presents... 我在礼物间里...

... and I was looking at this gravy boat.  看着那个肉汁壶.

This really gorgeous Limoges gravy boat. 那是个非常好看的肉汁壶。

When all of a sudden... Sweet 'N Low? 然后，突然。。。有代糖吗？

I realized... 我发现。。。

I realized that I was more turned on by this gravy boat than by Barry. 然后我发现我对这个肉汁壶比对巴瑞更有冲动。

Then I got really freaked out, and that's when it hit me: 然后我吓呆了 然后这个想法突然出现在脑中。

How much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head. 巴瑞看起来多像洋芋头先生啊。

You know, I mean, I always knew he looked familiar, but, 我总觉得他眼熟，但是。。。

Anyway, I just had to get out of there, and I started wondering: 总之我必须离开那里，我在想：

"Why am I doing this?" And "Who am I doing this for" 我为什么这样做，我为谁这样做。

So anyway, I just didn't know where to go, and I know that you and I have kinda drifted apart... 我不知道该去哪里 而且我知道我和你有点疏远了。

but...you're the only person I knew who lived here in the city. 但你是我这个城市里唯一认识的人。

Who wasn't invited to the wedding. 而且没有受邀参加你的婚礼。

Oh, I was kinda hoping that wouldn't be an issue. 奥，我希望你不会把它当做一回事。

Now I'm guessing that he bought her the big pipe organ. 我猜他给她买了一个管风琴。

...and she's really not happy about it. 而她很不喜欢那个。

Daddy, I just.. I can't marry him. 老爸，我就是无法和他结婚。

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I'm sorry. 对不起

I just don't love him. 我只是不爱他了。

Well, it matters to me. 这对我很有关系。

Oh，she should not be wearing those pants. 她真不应该穿那条裤子。

I say push her down the stairs. 我觉得应该把她推下楼。

Come on, Daddy, listen to me! 爸爸，听我说。

It's like all of my life, everyone has always told me, "You're a shoe!" 这就好像在我一生中，所有人都告诉我，你是鞋子

And then today I just stopped and said, "What if I don't wanna be a shoe?" 然后今天，我听下来对自己说，如果我不想成为鞋子呢。

What if I wanna be a purse? You know? Or a hat? 如果我想成为一个包包，戴一顶帽子？

No, I don't want you to buy me a hat, I am a hat. 不, 我不是说要你给我买帽子，我是说我就是帽子。

It's a metaphor, Daddy! 这是个比喻，爸爸

You can see where he'd have trouble. 你看得出他哪里听不懂。

Look, Daddy, it's my life. 爸爸，这是我的生活。

Well, maybe I'll just stay here with Monica.也许我可以和莫妮卡住在一起。

Well, I guess we've established she's staying with Monica.我猜我们已经确定 她要和莫妮卡住在一起了。

Well, maybe that's my decision. 也许那是我的决定。

Well, maybe I don't need your money. 也许我不需要你的钱。

Okay, Just breathe, that's it. 呼吸，呼吸，好，就这样。

Just try to think of nice, calm things. 试着想一些让你镇定的事。