嗯，我不知道那个

For most of the last 40 years, I was what the marketers called an early adopter. What this means in practical terms is, I paid $800 each for a 300 baud modem (Google it, kiddies) and a first-gen cellular telephone. Yes, that’s what we called them back then. At twenty cents a minute, we probably should have come up with a shorter name. I paid $2,000 for a dot matrix printer. I won’t tell you what the computer it was hooked up to via a parallel cable cost. I owned a Palm Phone, eight years before the first iPhone.

在过去40年的大部分时间里，我一直被营销人员称为早期采用者。 实际上，这意味着我花了800美元购买了300波特调制解调器(Google it，kiddies)和第一代蜂窝电话。 是的，那是我们那时所说的。 以每分钟20美分的价格，我们可能应该想出一个简短的名字。 我花了2,000美元购买了一台点阵打印机。 我不会告诉您通过并行电缆成本连接的计算机是什么。 我拥有一部Palm Phone，比第一部iPhone早了八年。

But during my last five years or so working and all my retired life, I have slowed down the tech acquisition. New tech doesn’t come out every year or two; it comes out every week or two. I can no longer keep up and honestly, no longer want to. I have what I need. I wrote about some of that here.

但是在我过去的五年左右的工作和退休的整个生命中，我放慢了对技术的收购。 新技术并不是每隔一两年就会出现。 它每周或每两周发布一次。 我再也无法保持诚实，不再想要。 我有我需要的。 我在这里写了一些这样的东西。

I have to admit, I was intrigued when the personal assistants came out. Watching the TV commercial where the guy says, “Alexa, turn on the light.” Of course, I half expected Alexa to answer, “The light right next to your elbow?” But, no, Alexa jumped right in, “Which light would you like me to turn on?”

我不得不承认，当私人助理出来时，我很感兴趣。 看着电视广告中那个家伙说：“ Alexa，打开灯。” 当然，我一半希望Alexa回答：“肘部旁边的灯是？” 但是，不，Alexa跳了进去，“您要让我打开哪盏灯？”

“Uh, the light right next to my elbow.”

“呃，肘部旁边的灯。”

“Okay, I’ll turn on the light right next to your elbow, you lazy schmuck.”

“好吧，我要打开弯头旁边的灯，你这懒惰的家伙。”

My fear and hesitation may stem from the first virtual assistant most of us encountered, which continuously refused to supply any assistance.

我的恐惧和犹豫可能源于我们大多数人遇到的第一个虚拟助手，该助手一直拒绝提供任何帮助。

“I’m sorry. I can’t open the pod bay door, Dave.”

“对不起。 戴夫，我无法打开豆荚门。

After a while, I became more interested and decided to give it a try. I already had Android devices, so I started with Google Assistant. I carefully followed the instructions and set it up. I trained it to recognize my voice, although I don’t know why. It didn’t know any nuclear launch codes. Why can’t we just assume that anyone that has my phone in their hand can turn on the light right by my elbow?

一段时间后，我变得更加感兴趣，并决定尝试一下。 我已经有Android设备，因此我从Google Assistant开始。 我仔细按照说明进行了设置。 我训练了它以识别我的声音，尽管我不知道为什么。 它不知道任何核发射代码。 我们为什么不能仅仅假设任何人手里拿着我的手机都能在我的肘部打开灯？

But, as you all know, we have to play by their rules, so I went through the configuration and testing. Everything worked as it should. A few days later, I’m driving along and decided to give it a try.

但是，众所周知，我们必须遵守他们的规则，因此我进行了配置和测试。 一切都按预期进行。 几天后，我继续前进，并决定尝试一下。

Hey, Google.

嘿，Google。

Hey, GOOGLE!

嘿，GOOGLE！

HEY, GOOGLE!!!!

嗨，GOOGLE ！！！

What can I help you with today?

今天有什么可以帮助您的？

Now, with a real assistant, you would have replied, “Where the #*!& have you been.” But that would just delay things. So, I took a deep breath and calmly said, “Show me directions to the hospital.”

现在，有了真正的助手，您会回答：“＃*！＆到哪里去了。” 但这只会延迟事情。 因此，我深吸了一口气，平静地说：“告诉我去医院的方向。”

Google?

谷歌？

“Hey, Google! Show me directions to the hospital.”

“嘿，谷歌！ 告诉我去医院的方向。”

“I cannot help with that, but I’m learning all the time. Is there anything else I can assist you with today?”

“我对此无能为力，但我一直在学习。 今天我还有什么可以帮助您的吗？”

“Hey, Google, How do you get blood stains out of a floor mat?”

“嘿，Google，您如何从地板垫上清除血迹？”

Google?

谷歌？

Fast forward a couple of years. I’m having dinner at a neighbor’s house. “Alexa, play Adele.” After this, Adele’s powerful vocals filled the living room. These are the people for whom I had to replace the batteries in their TV remote.

快进几年。 我在邻居家吃晚饭。 “ Alexa，扮演阿黛尔。” 此后，阿黛尔强有力的声音充满了客厅。 这些人是我必须为他们的电视遥控器更换电池的人。

Wow, things must have gotten a lot simpler.

哇，事情一定变得简单多了。

Now, I’m curious again, so I Google it. Sorry, Alexa. I came up with many pages of information and some very cool videos showing how you can use Alexa to control your home and keep your schedule organized. All you have to do is buy a few thousand dollars worth of bulbs, plugs, and thermostats, plus a hub to control them with, pair them all up, and now, Alexa can turn on your lights. Including the one right by your elbow.

现在，我又好奇了，所以我用Google搜索。 抱歉，Alexa。 我想出了很多页面的信息和一些非常酷的视频，这些视频展示了如何使用Alexa来控制自己的房屋并安排时间表。 您所要做的就是购买价值数千美元的灯泡，插头和恒温器，以及一个用于控制它们的集线器，将它们全部配对，现在，Alexa可以打开您的灯。 包括肘部右伸。

So, maybe I start slow and ease into this. The Alexa app is free, so I download it to my Android phone. Google Assistant got real pissy about that. I started to download Siri and Cortana and make some popcorn, But I was now on a mission. Besides, I figured in a couple of days, Alexa could make my popcorn.

因此，也许我开始缓慢而轻松地做到这一点。 Alexa应用程序是免费的，因此我将其下载到我的Android手机上。 Google Assistant对此感到非常生气。 我开始下载Siri和Cortana并制作一些爆米花，但是现在我正在执行任务。 此外，我想了几天，Alexa可以制作我的爆米花了。

Installation was straightforward, although I had to go through the process of telling Google Assistant her services were no longer needed. I hate firing people. Maybe I should have offered her a package. Setup was a breeze, and I didn’t even have to go through the voice learning process. I asked her a few questions and even had her make a phone call for me.

安装非常简单，尽管我必须告诉Google Assistant不再需要她的服务。 我讨厌解雇人。 也许我应该给她一个包裹。 安装过程轻而易举，我什至不必经历语音学习过程。 我问了她几个问题，甚至让她给我打了电话。

Finally, I took her for a walk.

最后，我带她去散步。

Hey, Alexa.

嘿，Alexa。

Hey Alexa?

嘿Alexa？

Hey, Google, have you seen Alexa?

嘿，Google，您见过Alexa吗？

“Hmmph.”

“哼。”

Sorry.

抱歉。

I finally mastered the combination of movements to get Alexa in listening mode.

我终于掌握了动作的组合，使Alexa处于聆听模式。

Alexa put milk on my list.

Alexa把牛奶列入我的清单。

What list would you like to put milk on?

您想放牛奶什么清单？

Put milk on my grocery list.

把牛奶放在我的购物清单上。

You don’t have a grocery list, would you like me to make one?

您没有杂货清单，您想让我做一份吗？

In the ’80s, on my Apple IIe computer, I had a game called Zork. It was a lot like Alexa.

在80年代，在我的Apple IIe计算机上，我玩了一个名为Zork的游戏。 这很像Alexa。

You are in a room. There are an ogre and a sword.

你在房间里有一个食人魔和一把剑。

Kill the ogre with the sword.

用剑杀死食人魔。

You don’t have a sword.

你没有剑。

Get the sword.

拿剑

You have a sword but have been killed by the ogre.

您有一把剑，但是被食人魔杀死了。

I lost interest in buying milk long before my walk was over.

在步行结束之前，我对买牛奶失去了兴趣。

I’m still interested in these devices, and I’m sure I’ll own one someday. But I don’t think either they or I are quite ready for each other yet.

我仍然对这些设备感兴趣，而且我肯定有一天会拥有它。 但是我不认为他们或者我已经为彼此做好了充分的准备。

Plus, I have a problem giving a computer that looks like an air freshener total control of my home and life.

另外，我在给一台看起来像空气清新剂的计算机完全控制自己的家庭和生活时遇到了问题。

Alexa, the house is on fire, call 911 and open the window.

Alexa，房子着火了，拨打911并打开窗户。

I’m afraid I can’t do that, Darryl.

恐怕我做不到，达里尔。

翻译自: https://medium.com/an-idea/hmmm-i-dont-know-that-one-235691bada68