【译文】如何培养自信的习惯(How to Bulid the Confidence Habit)

How to Build the Confidence Habit
如何培养自信的习惯

“If you hear a voice within you say “you cannot paint,” then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.”  ~ Vincent Van Gogh
“如果你的内心有个声音跟你说“你不会画画”，那你偏偏不顾一切地画画，然后那个声音自然会安静下来。”-文森特.凡高语

We are all beset with doubts sometimes. Even the most self-assured and successful people can be unsure of themselves. Some people are clearly more confident than others, though. To what extent this is ‘nature’ and ‘nurture’ is unclear, though I suspect that ‘nurture’ has a lot to do with it. I’ve seen my own confidence wax and wane over the years, and external factors have certainly played a part. Some signs that you might be lacking somewhat in confidence are:
• Thinking that other people are better than you
• Expecting the worst outcome
• Engaging in negative self-talk
• Feeling the need to justify your behavior to others
• Overreacting to criticism
• Not having many friends or avoiding social situations
• Body language that is defensive and closed.
有时候我们会充满自我怀疑。即使是最最自信和成功的人士，有时候也会对自己感到不确信。尽管有些人明显比其他人更具自信，但仍不清楚其中有多少是天性和多少是后天的教养，不过我认为这跟教养有很大的关系。多年以来，我的自信心一直是时高时低，周而复始，当然外部因素起了一定的影响。下面的一些迹象表明了你可能缺乏信心：
 认为别人比自己优秀
 预期最坏的结果
 消极地自言自语
 认为有必要因为别人的看法而调整自己的行为
 对别人的批评反应过于强烈
 没有很多朋友，或者你极力避免一些社交场合
 你的肢体语言是防御性的，自我封闭的。

If you have some of these traits, perhaps you need to consider building more confidence. Can this be done? I think it’s clear is that confidence, like most other traits, can be developed. Like a muscle, with training and in time, it can become strong and powerful. To put it another way: confidence is a habit – confidence begets confidence. Here are some training ideas to develop this most important of habits.
如果你拥有上述特征，也许你该考虑如何让自己更加自信。这能做到吗？我认为很显然，信心和大多数其他特征一样是可以培养的。就像人的肌肉，通过一段时间训练能够变得强壮有力。换句话说，自信是一种习惯，即信心本身能够产生信心。下面给出一些训练方法以培养这个最最重要的习惯。

Make friends with your failings and limitations
This is a key area. Obviously, you are not perfect – far from it. So long as you are challenging yourself, stepping out of your comfort zone and seeking to develop, you will be making mistakes. The mistakes are signs of growth and nothing to be ashamed of. Confident people are comfortable in their own skin, happy with themselves in all their imperfection. They have nothing to prove.
与你的过失和不足做朋友
这点非常关键。很显然，至少到目前为止你并不十全十美。只要你想挑战自己，想步出自己的舒适带寻求自我发展，就会犯错。不必要为你的错误害羞，因为错误是你成长的一个信号。自信的人不仅对自己的所有感到满足，而且对自己的不足也不会感到沮丧。因为他们无需证明什么。

Don’t be pushy or aggressive
Confidence can manifest itself in many different ways, and sometimes there is a visibly assertive quality to it, but there is also a quieter and more restrained confidence. When you meet a confident person, you tend to pick up that the person is happy with himself and feels comfortable in her own skin. Confidence does not mean aggressive, pushy, loud or superior, which is often a sign of over-compensation for some kind of inferiority complex.
不要太爱出风头，太激进
信心本身会以很多不同的方式呈现出来，有时候它是一种清晰可见的自信品格，但有时候它又很低调，受到约束。当你遇见一个充满自信的人，你会喜欢看他充满快乐的样子。信心并不意味着激进，爱出风头，声音大或者自我感觉高人一等，这些特征反而显现了你的某种自卑感。

Don’t be defensive
Listening to and acting on criticism is an important part of being confident. It is often very hard for us to be objective about ourselves, and other people can give us great insights into our strengths and weaknesses. Of course, we have to be critical about the things that people tell us, not falling into credulity and taking everything they say at face value. But the insights afforded by others can be very valuable. If people laugh at you or attack you, this probably says more about them than about you. Insecure people often try to cover up their feelings of inadequacy by falling into such behaviors.
不要太保守
倾听别人给予你的批评并且正确对待之，是建立信心很重要的一个部分。我们通常很难客观地看待自己，而别人却能够很好地看清我们的长处和短处。当然，我们必须批评对待别人指出的东西，不宜轻信和全盘接受别人的批评。然而，别人对我们的洞见极具价值。如果有人取笑你或者攻击你的话，这或许更多地说明他们自己有问题，而不是你不够好。只有那些没有安全感的人才会用这些行为去极力掩饰自己的不足感。

Do what you believe to be right
Confident people tend to rely on an internal guidance system to keep them going along the right track, whereas those with less confidence can be buffeted around by other people’s opinions and agendas. Having an inner compass is an essential part of living assertively and confidently, and following the compass can sometimes mean having to take risks. But without risk, there is no growth.
相信正确就去做
自信的人通常心中自有一盘棋，这能确保他们沿着正确的方向行进。然而，那些信心不足的人往往容易被别人的意见和安排所左右。心中有个罗盘是生活积极自信必不可少的一部分，当然有时候这样会冒些风险。但是不冒险，人如何能成长！

Set challenging goals
Confident people tend to live in a more conscious and deliberate way, setting goals for themselves. They are secure enough to tolerate failure, and are comfortable with not getting things right first time. If we are not growing, then we are falling back – there is always movement. As we challenge ourselves, our comfort zone grows, and this growth often involves the pain of failure. This pain is too much for insecure people to bear. But to confident people, failure is only a stepping-stone, not the destination. Success, for confident people, is inevitable. It’s only a matter of time.
设置具有一定挑战性的目标
自信者喜欢在生活中设置一些目标，他们通常深思熟虑。他们能容忍失败，能从容应对自己的第一次错误。如果我们没有成长，那么必然会倒退，因为人总是在变化着。随着我们的自我挑战，我们的舒适区会扩大，而它的扩大同时也包含着失败的痛苦。这种痛苦对于不安的人来说难以忍受，然而对于那些自信的人，失败仅仅是一块踏脚石，并不是最终的目的。自信的人必定会成功，对他们来说成功只是时间的早晚问题。

Keep a record of your achievements
It is common for people with limited self-confidence to compare themselves unfavorably with others. Such people may assume that others are ‘better’ and have achieved more, so it can be very helpful to make a list of achievements. If you do this, you may find that the list is longer than you thought. Imagine what you would think if this were a list of someone else’s achievements. Would you be impressed? Would you think highly of that person?
记录你的成就
不自信者认为自己不如别人优秀，这个现象非常普遍。他们觉得别人更优秀，别人拥有更多的成就。因此列出自己的成就非常有用。如果这么做，你会发现你的列表会比你想象得要长。请想象一下，如果这个列表是别人的你会怎么想？你会对此印象深刻吗？你会认为这个人的形象高大吗？

Learn to be optimistic
People who lack self-confidence are often pessimistic about the future and tend to think the worst. It’s important to replace negative, self-defeating mental chatter with upbeat, positive self-talk. All day long, thoughts are swirling around inside our head and we need to be conscious about this. Such self awareness isn’t easy, but with some gentle persistence you can become more aware of your thoughts and, when you catch yourself thinking in a negative way, replace the thought with something more positive. Examples of negative thinking are: exaggerating the negative aspects of things, taking things personally, feeling you are being blamed for things or feeling like a victim, to name just a few. Simply being aware of negative thinking modalities can be a great help in overcoming them. When you catch yourself thinking in such negative ways, try to replace the thought with something more self-affirming.
学会乐观
不自信者通常对未来很悲观，他们往往想到事物最坏的一面。不要做消极的，自我挫败的自我对话，要对自己快乐积极的言语，这点很重要。我们要有意识时不时地在头脑里浮现自己的想法。这种自我觉醒并不容易做到，但是只要坚持一段时间，我们就会更能觉察到自己的想法。当你意识到自己的想法很消极，请换积极些的想法。消极的想法有：夸大事物的负面性，按个人所见看待事物，感觉到自己会因为某事受责备，或感觉自己像个受害者。要知道消极的思想形态有助于克服消极情绪。当你意识到自己正消极地思考事物时，请尽量换作更肯定的想法。

Take a balanced approach
The benefits of confidence are clear but, as with most things, too much of it can be unhealthy. Over-confidence, which can lead to errors of judgment and under-performance, is dangerous and should be guarded against. Confidence is about getting the balance right.
要做到平衡
自信的益处不言而喻。然而，就像大多数事物一样，物极必反。过度的自信，能导致判断的失误以及表现不力。这非常危险，我们需警惕它。自信要适度。

Relax
Confident people are more relaxed, happier and enjoy situations, however challenging, a lot more than those with low self-esteem, trusting that they can deal with whatever problems and challenges might arise. If you fail, if you get it all wrong, it won’t be the end of the world. If you’re tense and worried about how you’re being perceived, your energy is being wasted – it’s not going into the matter at hand. So let go, take the focus of attention off yourself, relax and enjoy the ride.
放轻松
自信的人比那些不自信的人更放松，更快乐，并享受着当前，当然他们也要经历更多的挑战。他们自信能应付随时都有可能出现的各种问题和挑战。如果你失败了，如果你所有都做错了，这不会是世界末日。如果你对自己察觉到的东西感到紧张忧虑，那么你正在浪费你的能量。放心，不会马上有麻烦的！就这么做吧，不要过多注视，放轻松，请享受这个过程。

“Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.”  ~ Norman Vincent Peale
一个人没有谦逊合理的自信，那他就不会成功，也不会快乐。
                 -诺曼•文森特•皮尔 语

The benefits of being confident are clear: you’ll be happier, more relaxed and probably healthier. You’ll use time more effectively because you won’t be worrying endlessly about other people’s opinions, and you’ll have a clearer sense of purpose, so you’ll be a lot more effective. Confidence, in a sense, is the key to happiness and fulfillment.
自信的好处不言自明：你会更加快乐，更加放松，也会更加健康。你将更有效地利用时间，因为你不用无休止地担忧别人的想法，自己的目的更加明晰，所以你变得更加有效了。从某种意义上讲，信心是快乐和成功的关键。

“What a fool am I, thus to lie in a stinking dungeon, when I may as well walk at liberty!  I have a key in my bosom, called Promise, that will, I am persuaded, open any lock in Doubting Castle.” ~ John Bunyan
我多么愚蠢啊，本来可以走向自由，而我却这样躲在恶臭的牢笼里！我相信，我胸中的这把叫作承诺的钥匙能够打开任意一把怀疑城堡里的锁。
            -约翰•班扬语

原文地址：http://www.thechangeblog.com/build-confidence/

词汇：
at face value
But even if one accepts these criticisms at face value, they could surely be tackled more directly.
但是即使有人全盘接纳了这些批评，他们原本可以处理得更直接些。
 

注： 转载请说明出处，本文为本人原创翻译。

 

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