雅思写作---大作文之分析解决类

大作文4——分析解决类出题形式

写作大作文第四种出题方式一般有两问，第一问询问产生某种现象的原因是什么，第二问询问如何解决这种现象。这是一般的出题方式，当然也有变形题目，我将在后文中提到并给出相关例文（自己写的）

What causes of this problem? / what are the reasons? How to solve this problem? / what are the solutions / what are the suggestions recommended? 

一.写作结构

若题目为一般题型，则写作结构可以分为4段。

第一段：背景段

第一段通过原题目进行改写，给出整篇文章的背景。需要注意的是，背景段无需给出自己的观点。

第二段：原因段

第二段进行回答第一问中询问的问题。第一句写出第一个原因，后接两到三句对第一个原因的解释。第五句写出第二个原因，后接两到三个对第二个原因的解释

第三段：解决方案

给出一个解决方案，然后写出两到三句关于方案的解释和延申。与国内的考试不同，国内的论据比较大，而雅思考试则专注于将论据深挖，越细越好（细到哪天午饭吃了什么食物）

除此之外，解决方案需要关注原因背后发生的场所，比如问现在人们不愿意与邻居沟通->得知背后场所发生在社区，那么解决方案就要从社区出发。要想社区可以做什么来解决这样的问题。

另外，雅思中常见的解决方案可以有两种方式：发钱、惩罚。

第四段：总结段

第四段总结第二段的原因和第三段的解决方案

句型：导致这个现象的原因有....和,,,,,，解决的办法为.....

非常规问题

上述段落安排是常规题目，若题目中的问题有变化，比如题目中问的原因很明显是两件事并且相互独立。那么在段落安排上也要有所变化，具体表现为：

第二段写出第一件事的原因和解决方案

第三段写出第二件事的原因和解决方案

二.真题解析

以2018年7月19日的题目为例

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These days, an increasing number of people in many cities know little about their neighbors and do not have a sense of community. What do you think are the causes and what solutions can you suggest? 

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第一段：段落改写与背景段

with the development of urbanization, tons of high buildings were constructed in many cities, forming bulks of concrete forest, leading a problem that the urban residents know little about neighbors and are lack of the sense of community. 

第一段首先要进行题目改写，可以看到leading后引导的都为题目改写。

这段中使用到了bulks of ，一片，可以说明森林、痘痘等。同时后面修饰的concrete forest混凝土森林偏负面。

第一段要改写标题同时引出背景，但也要引入来让改写显得自然。

第二段——原因1

As the high pressures from society and campus have almost stifled the contemporary people to death, the vast majority of their time have been occupied/taken up by studying or working loads, leading they can hardly squeeze/spare the enough time to deal with neighborhood. For example, in China, an increasing number of workers are working as the 9-9-6 working scheme/discipline, which means working from 9 o’clock a.m. to 9 o’clock p.m. per day for 6 days a week. In that case, they would choose to accompany with their families or friends instead of/rather than the neighbors when they have some days off. 

雅思写作如果想要突破高分，关键之处在于细节是否注意到位。在划线部分着重强调一周七天最后一天的放假时间也有安排，堵住了还有一天可以进行社交的漏洞，突出了当前人们没有时间。

第二段——原因2

What’s more, given the fact that there are lots of Apps for making friends on line, people do have more convenient ways to start a relationship just by several touches on the touch screen, which definitely shorten their communication skills face to face, resulting in their weaker willingness to communicate with their neighbors.

此原因的优秀之处在于划线部分使用了互证，两句互相论证，有效证明了当前人们不进行face to face社交的原因。

第三段：解决方案

To solve this thorny problem/ headache, the community should take/shoulder the responsibility to bridge neighborhood. For example, it can periodically hold some group activities like the sports games or the parties to build up a platform.

因为发生的场景发生在社区，所以可以从社区着手来写出解决方案。举办活动等等，但是单举办活动很难吸引人们来参加，所以还需要提供奖励方案来吸引人们。

第四段：总结

To be concluded, the causes are originated from most of their time occupied by their intensive working or studying loads and the change of the way for them to live. It requires the endeavors/efforts made by community to better the status quo. 

画线部分为原因的总结，后面为解决方案。

三.实战与批改

题目

Nowadays people always throw old things away, what causes this problem? What effects does the phenomenon lead to?

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分析

没有主观因素暗示，选择客观因素

原因

1. 商品更新换代速度变快，旧物品无法在当前使用。（补充：针对一些过时的产品，公司可能不会更新系统从而导致脱节—>加剧现在的人们扔掉旧产品）
2. 没用—>因为一件事情的流行时间有限，所以很多东西不再使用

导致的现象

                   人们在不应该浪费金钱的地方浪费了大量的金钱，增进了消费欲望。 

原文

With the drastic shifting of popular opinion, new things can be out of date quickly in these days, leading a phenomenon that these items are thrown away by people without second thought, as like gum on our shoes.

As the high speed of updating of items, old things can not be used nowadays, which can not add new functions after updated. Even worse, old things are thrown away not because people not want to keep it, because they have to, they can’t use their old products cause high tech company refuses to apply update choices to those old products. For example, to welcome the new products of iPad, the Apple company alleged that they do not sell iPad9 from this summer even though ipad9 is a popular product. Moreover, this is a era that everything may be hot just in one second. Thank for this social phenomenon, people need to give up old things they would never use it again cause they just for catering for the popular trend. It is a common situation that people buy something not just they need but people around them have. These things are useless after a several days and cheaper than people bought. In these cases, people give up keeping them because they are useless in their life.

Owning to the phenomenon, on the one hand, people need to throw away old things because they need to update their products, on the other hand, people have to clean up old things because they are useless in their life, leading a fact that people need to cost more money than before.

To be concluded, the causes are originated from the high speed shifting in our life, which are necessary for everyone to bridge the society, leading a bad news for people that they need to cost a lot of money to keep the status quo.

批改

With the drastic shifting of popular concept, new things can be out of date quickly in these days, leading a phenomenon that these items are thrown away by people without  thinking twice, as like gum on our shoes.

第一段中的问题：

1.opinion不适合用来描述一个流行的事情，概念更合适。

2.使用没有再次思考时使用错误

3.没有 as like的用法

With the acceleration of updating rate, old things can not(只有can的情态动词not需要连在一起 cannot) be used nowadays, which can not add new functions after (being) updated.(没有一个小的解释） Even worse, old things are thrown away not because people don’t want to keep it, because(not ... but) they have to, they can’t use their old products cause(because) high tech company refuses to apply(refuse+doing 否定的动词后一般接doing refuse applying) update choices to those old products. For example, to welcome the new products of iPad, the Apple company(Inc.) alleged(announced) that they do not sell iPad9 from this summer even though ipad9 is a popular product(强调的不够强烈，形容性价比可以使用the most cost-effective iPad). Moreover, this is a(an) era that(定语从句，引导时间名词需要使用when) everything may be hot just in one second. （cannot remain the heat within one second)Thank for(Thanks to偏褒义，改成Due to) this social phenomenon, people need to give up old things they would never use it again cause they just for catering for the popular trend. It is a common situation that people buy something not just they need but people around them have. These things are（过于绝对，需要进行推理，might be) useless after a several days and cheaper than people bought. In these cases, people give up keeping them because they are useless in their life.

第一个论点过于长，将论点浓缩之后把论据加长

第二个比较混乱，论据不清，找出一个点然后进行深挖。

Owning to the phenomenon（In that case), on the one hand, people need to throw away old things because they need to update their products, on the other hand, people have to clean up old things because they are useless in their life, leading a fact that people need to cost(spend) more money than before.

To be concluded, the causes are originated from the high speed shifting in our life, which are necessary for everyone to bridge the society, leading a (letter of) bad news for people that they(who) need to cost(spend) a lot of money to keep(remain) the status quo.