生活中的心理学

1.The sinking anchor effect: let others can’t refuse you
“If he asks again then I will go with him.” “If his invitation is more explicitly I will not refuse him”.
We always find ourselves in the situation that we don’t know how to ask the person we like to go out. How to get yes for an answer, here are some tips.
If you ask “do you want to hang out with?” You are more likely to get answers like “maybe next time” or “we will see” instead of “sure”. But if you try ask “You decide where to go between mall and bookstore”. The person you ask are more willing to go according to the research.
This is all about sinking the anchor first. “What to go out with me?” In this invitation, “go out” or “not” is “sinker”, it is easy that girls choose “no” because of the restrained. But if you say “Do you want to go shopping or the bookstore?” In this, “shopping” and “the bookstore” is the “sinker”, whatever girls choose, boys get what they want.
Obviously, the second methods is more advantageous to invite, it is the sinking anchor effect.
Generally speaking, when people make a decision, they always impressed by the first information they get, just like the sinker under the ocean, which will impact the final decision.
Then, we can understand why a guy who say “go out with me, we are together destiny” is more attractive than the hesitating one.
 
 
♥2.Be careful to the trick between two choices
Many times, people have difficulty in making decision when they face two choices. Even after serious consideration, the choice that people make may not be a perfect one. Be careful to the trick make making a choice.
For example, there are two shops nearby your home, A and B, both selling clothes but different styles. The price is almost the same and you don’t have a preference. One day, the third shop C opens and sells the similar clothes as B, but the price is higher.
As time passes by, shop B’s turnover increases significantly compared with shop A. Shop C, however, has very low turnover. It turns out shop B and C has the same owner.
The trick here is that when people have no specific preference, they make random choice. But when shop C shows and presents similar products with higher price, they start to put more attention to shop B. In one word, shop C is a decoy. This is called decoy effect psychologically.
In marketing, the decoy effect is the phenomenon whereby consumers will tend to have a specific change in preference between two options when also presented with a third option that is asymmetrically dominated. Apparently, the target in the story is to increase turnover of shop B by using shop C as a decoy.
Decoy effect is very common in normal life. We need to pay attention especially when make choice between two options.
♥3.“primacy effect”，a trap in interpersonal communication
Primacy effect refers to the process by which early information colours our perception of subsequent information. Primacy effect is more powerful than you think. For example, you took subway in the Monday morning. A man who standing next to you was enjoying his breakfast and it’s disturbing! So how do you feel about this man? You may think him as selfish and don’t care about others.
Later when you arrive in the company, you saw this man again and found out that he was your new colleague! Oh god, it sucks! Maybe you will be nice to him just to be polite. But subconsciously, you still see him as a selfish person. Especially when he makes mistake at work such as comes to work late and leave early. You will find and use all knids of evidence to confirm your impression.
How can we use first impression to help us since it’s so important? Usually, first impression depends on gender, age, posture, post, countenance and so on. As a result, in order to gain good first impression, first of all, you need to pay attention to your appearance. People like to stay with someone who dress neatly fit natural and graceful. Secondly, pay attention to your manners, characters like humor, humble, decent are all very impressive.
If you can understand and make use of primacy effect, you will be able to create a good interpersonal relationship in your career.
 
♥4.Why people like taking selfie?
Some people don’t like taking selfie since they don’t think they look good on pictures. But there are still many people love doing selfie.
People’s understanding towards self-image is based on the observation from the mirror. But most of the time, the self-image in picture is different from the one you see every day in the mirror.
Why there is the difference? Psychologically speaking, it is called the mere-exposure effect, which is a psychological phenomenon by which people tend to develop a preference for things merely because they are familiar with them. Compared with the self on the picture, people see themselves every day in the mirror.
So the more selfie you take, the more you will prefer the image on the picture.
Psychology is everywhere in life, such as interpersonal communication, parenting, or shopping choice. Learn to use psychology in life, difference will occur.

♥ 1.“沉锚效应”：让别人不懂拒绝你
“他如果再坚持一下就好了。”“他如果邀请的再明确一点，我就同意了。”这些话是不是感觉很耳熟？
我们或多或少都遇到过这样的情况，想要约心仪的女孩/男孩出去玩，却不知如何开口，对方才不会拒绝。比如，你问“出去玩好吗？”对方当下的反应可能是“下次吧”“再说吧”，而不是“好啊”，虽然她的内心可能并不排斥。但如果你下次试着说“出去玩玩吧，逛街或者逛书店，随你。”研究发现，这样子，成功的几率会比较大。
也许这让你有些迷惑，但如果你知道“沉锚”，就不会觉得奇怪了。
“出去玩好吗？”这句邀请中，“去”与“不去”是“沉锚”，女孩很容易因为矜持而选择“不去”；但是如果说：“出去玩玩吧，逛街或者逛书店，随你。”在这里，“逛街”或“逛书店”便是“沉锚”了，女孩无论选择哪一种，男孩的目的都达到了。
显然，第二种问法更有利于邀请者，这就是“沉锚效应”在起导向作用。
通常来讲，人们在作决策时，思维往往会被得到的第一信息所左右，就像沉入海底的锚一样，把你的思维固定在某处。而用一个限定性的词语或规定作行为导向，达成行为效果的心理效应，被称为“沉锚效应”。 这就难怪，那些犹豫着说“相处一段，看是否合适”的男人，没有霸道地直接说“陪我出去吧，我们一定能走到一起”的男人更有吸引力了。
 
♥ 2.“诱饵效应”，警惕轻易做出选择的陷阱
很多时候，我们都在两个选择之间难以做出决策，小到今天吃哪家的菜，买哪家的衣服，大到选取哪一个方案，进行下一步行动。
然而，有时候，我们经过“考虑”而慎重做出的选择，其实并不是那么尽善尽美，那到底是什么，会让我们的选择带有倾向性呢？
你的附近开了两家外贸店，一家是日单风格的衣物A，一家是欧美风B，价格不相上下，两家店的生意也不相上下，而你每每选择的时候，也并没有做太多的区分。直到一天，第三家店C开业了，第三家店也是一家欧美风格的衣服，但价格却比前一家高。几番下来，大家发现，前一家欧美风的外贸店相比日单风的服装店，营业额有所增加，而第三家店C，营业额却很低。
在大家都以为C店肯定会倒闭的时候，事实上，C店和B店都存在了很久，后来，大家发现，B和C店的老板是同一家。
当A和B价格相近的时候，也许你会举棋不定，或随意选择哪一家，但当第三家店风格与前面有所相似，价位却更高了些的时候，根据心理学家的研究，大多数人都会受到影响，内心的天平便会倾向于B。
在这里，C店就是诱饵，而店家老板，很好的运用了这一心理学陷阱，即“诱饵效应”。 “诱饵效应”是指人们对两个不相上下的选项进行选择时，因为新选项（诱饵）的加入，会使某个旧选项显得更有吸引力。被“诱饵”帮助的选项通常称为“目标”，而另一选项被称为“竞争者”。显然，店老板的目标是B店营业额增加，而“诱饵”是C店。
在生活中，这也是非常普遍的现象，在我们进行选择的时候，应该警惕，留意进行选择时两个选择项之间的影响和差异，避免被“诱饵”忽悠。
 
♥ 3.“首因效应”，人际交往中的陷阱
人与人第一次交往中给人留下的印象，在双方的头脑中形成并占据着主导地位，这种效应即为首因效应。我们最初接触到的信息所形成的印象对人们以后的行为活动和评价的影响，某种程度上，超乎了我们的想象。
你周一早晨挤地铁，结果站在你旁边的人在吃早餐，还是味道特别大的肉包。地铁本就拥挤，加上空气不流通，你非常难受，此时，你对这个人的评价大抵会是：不知道地铁上不能吃东西吗？怎么如此自私！不顾他人感受，也不遵守规则！
一路都感觉非常不好的到了公司后，结果却发现，那是今天新来的同事，以后将一起共事！也许你意识上会对其礼貌友好，谈天也笑，但潜意识对他的这个评价，将会在以后的合作中，不期然的显现出来。比如偶然的迟到早退，却在你刚好有事情找他的时候，你会不经意发出，哦，果然如此。
第一印象如此重要，那我们如何运用它来变成我们的武器呢？第一印象主要是依靠性别、年龄、体态、姿势、谈吐、面部表情、衣着打扮等，判断一个人的内在素养和个性特征。因此在日常交往过程中，尤其是与别人的初次交往时，一定要注意给别人留下美好的印象。要做到这一点，首先，要注重仪表风度，—般情况下人们都愿意同衣着干净整齐、落落大方的人接触和交往。其次，要注意言谈举止，言辞幽默，侃侃而谈，不卑不亢，举止优雅，定会给人留下难以忘怀的印象。
首因效应在人们的交往中起着非常微妙的作用，只要能准确地把握它，定能给自己的事业开创良好的人际关系氛围。
 
♥ 4.“曝光效应”，为什么人们爱自拍？
有些人不爱自拍，觉得照片中的自己也许还没有真人好看，他们把这归因于不上镜，可生活中还是随处可见热衷于自拍的人。
我们每个人对“自我的模样”大多来源于镜中的观察，而你几乎每一天都会照镜子，对镜中的自己格外的熟悉，但实际上，照片中的你，也是真实的你。
两个不同方式呈现的“自我模样”为何差距如此的大？其实原因更多是来自于你自己。在心理学上，有个名词叫“曝光效应”，即，某样事物出现的次数越多，人对其产生的好感度也越高。相比我们拍照的次数，照镜子无疑是天天进行的。
所以，每天给自己一张快乐的自拍，你会发现，自己越来越美，这句话，是有一定的科学道理的。
生活中处处都存在着心理学，不管是人际交往、亲子教育、婚恋情感、还是购物广告，用心理学看生活，生活会有大不同。