绝望时写下的

Roman Holiday

 

It's not a holiday, but a  miserable experience.

It has been about two weeks, since I was not myself again.

Always with two characters, when staying with others, when staying alone.

First time participate in examination conflicting with my own willingness.

First time have the feeling of great two oriented pressure.

First time cheating so many people just for one leave for the exam.

One girl, confused me all the time.

No more trust, but more suspesion.

Okay, just forget it if I don't care.

But I do care.

Walking all around the china.

What life gives me.

Just pain with no hope, just pressure without entertainment.

When some one said "two enjoying happiness, one enjoying life".

I started to be grateful.

But I never can do that.

I begin not to believe in life.

I begin not to belive in this society.

I begin not to believe in myself.

I try to imagine this world as snow.

Even though it can bring whiteness, making me at a loss.

I try to imagine this world as rain.

Even though it can bring new life ,making me feel failed.

Suddenly find what u love is running all the time.

No energy in job, no hope for the future.

Uncertain for now, then what we are persisting in .

What we are insising on.

Never know what I am thinking , don't care what u are thinking  .

What's the meaning of two staying together.

Why not apart.

Be one.

Still at a loss。。。