David DeAngelo

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大卫·迪安杰洛（真名埃本·帕甘）是一位美国约会顾问，以其在线销售的《Double Your Dating》系列教程而闻名。他的教学强调自信幽默的态度对于吸引女性的重要性，并提供了一系列产品帮助男性提高社交技能。

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David DeAngelo is the pseudonym of a notable member of an American Seduction community ^[1]^[2] Deangelo is credited with founding "Double Your Dating", a company providing dating advice to men and marketed primarily over the Internet . Within the community he has achieved status akin to a guru.^[3]

Background

David DeAngelo is the stage name of a dating adviser based in the United States. (His real name is Eben Pagan.) Originally a student of Ross Jeffries and using the nickname Sisonpyh (hypnosis spelled backwards), DeAngelo's ideas were first widely published and publicized in a post on the underground seduction newsletter called Cliff's List .^[4]

DeAngelo's commercial career began with the release of his first book Double Your Dating in 2001. Since then, he has released many products aimed at helping men with dating with titles such as the Advanced Dating series, 77 Laws of Success With Women and Dating , Deep Inner Game , and Meeting Women Online.

DeAngelo runs an e-mail newsletter which is distributed to over 1 million subscribers ^[5] .

Beliefs

DeAngelo argues that much human social behavior is related in some way to sexual reproduction , and that human mating habits do not differ significantly from other species.

He suggests that societal conditioning has programmed many modern men to develop involuntary habits that increase the failure rate of consistently attracting women or negate the attractive qualities that were designed to make women want them. "Pickup lines cause you to lose before you even begin" since they "don't usually elicit positive and rewardful responses; instead they breed negative reactions."^[6]

DeAngelo states in one of his advanced dating technique seminars that people can use his techniques to achieve a variety of goals, whether that goal is to have casual sex or to form more lasting relationships.^[7] David DeAngelo, as a member of the Seduction Community as a whole, often comes under fire by women and men who advocate "just being yourself", but is just as strongly defended by his proponents who argue that these opinions are based on ignorance of his actual material. ^[8]

One of his beliefs is that being brainy doesn't automatically equal success with women, but that such success can be acquired. ^[9]

Advice on attraction

David DeAngelo contends most men lack a deep understanding of women, and in this way they are at a loss to attract the ones they desire. As a result, men are forced to accept whomever selects them.

DeAngelo believes that women are not as obsessed with the appearance of prospective mates as males are.^[10] Further, he contends that typical male courting gambits such as excessive flattery and gifting are seen by women as manipulative and insecure, and are thus ultimately unattractive.^[11] Instead, he contends that "attraction isn't a choice" -- women cannot be bribed into choosing to feel attraction. Rather, DeAngelo asserts that a woman will feel attraction automatically when she perceives a man to have certain characteristics such as confidence, lightheartedness, humor and independence, qualities he labels "cocky and funny" or "cocky funny." ^[12]

Thus, while a typical man might hope to appeal to a desirable woman with obsequiousness and unbridled enthusiasm, carefully hiding any reservations he might have about her, a "cocky and funny" one would actually make his reservations abundantly clear from the outset, albeit flirtatiously and with humor.

DeAngelo stresses that his recommendations are limited to advising men on how to present themselves more attractively in dating scenarios, and makes it clear that his advice is not necessarily relevant to ongoing relationships.

Terms DeAngelo uses

The Inner Wuss: a character trait of men developed through time that causes them to become submissive around women in order to get their approval. DeAngelo claims that women prefer men who are of higher status than them. ^[13] (see also Nice guy ).
Cocky and funny: also known as 'cocky comedy' can be called flirting, this refers to combination of arrogance and humor. A humorous mock arrogance intended to communicate with intelligence and being 'a challenge'. DeAngelo points out that it is important to get the balance right, as just using 'cocky' "comes across as insecure, and comedy alone usually comes across as goofy and dumb." ^[14]^[15]
Counterintuitive behavior : DeAngelo's description of some of his techniques to attract women, as they are the opposite of what most people think is attractive. Examples of such behavior include teasing a woman offhandedly and refusing to compliment her appearance. Can also be phrased as Don't behave in a boring or predictable way . ^[16]
Life changes: DeAngelo reiterates that the purpose of his programs is to effect a complete personality and lifestyle change among men that will help them achieve dating success. ^[17]
Emulate the Successful: DeAngelo encourages the following and emulation of those successful with women. He records interviews with those very successful in dating and releases them monthly as part of a subscription service.
Sexual Communication: DeAngelo's principle of a 'secret mating language' or 'secret mating dance' that takes place between a man and a woman before they can mate.
Reframing : Restructuring one's own beliefs set into a new one, such as changing self-doubt to positive thinking.

Quotes:

Attraction is not a choice.
You cannot bore a woman into liking you.
I do not apologize for my desires as a man.
Don't be her girlfriend.
Don't be a wussy.
People are brought together not by similarity, but by emotions.
You cannot convince a woman to like you.

Double Your Dating

Double Your Dating is a series of tutorials primarily advertised and sold through the internet.

The foundation for the Double Your Dating series is an ebook which claims to help men "demystify" much of what goes into attraction. Following the ebook, DeAngelo created further materials in the series, including a second ebook, as well as several ebooklets, seminars on DVDs and CDs covering various topics (notably the Advanced and Mastery series, as well as Meeting Women Online, Deep Inner Game, Power Sexuality, On Being a Man, Cocky Comedy and Body Language and several others), and the monthly Interviews with Dating Gurus CD subscription. Many of the guests that appear in his interview series also appear in his seminars and programs.

Criticism

Some critics regard "Cocky & Funny", DeAngelo's best known technique, as being over-emphasised. ^[18] They believe that the technique may backfire and be interpreted as arrogant, insecure and phony and may actually harm a man's chances with women. Alternatives have been suggested to "Cocky & Funny", such as "Confident & witty"^[18] and "Playful & Confident" ("P&C")^[19] .

David DeAngelo points out that "arrogance by itself is a turn-off to women", whilst "arrogant humor that MAKES THEM LAUGH is a HUGE turn on." ^[14] It should also be noted that DeAngelo has acknowledged that his work is a collection of suggestions and ideas and not to be taken as dogma. As evidenced in his Sexual Communication series, DeAngelo encourages students to evaluate his material "with your own minds". When commenting on his guest speakers, who sometimes say things that are in complete contrast to DeAngelos work, he responds "Good, that makes you think for your self".

Bibliography

Ebooks

Double Your Dating (1st edition, 2001, 90 pp)
Double Your Dating (2nd edition, 2005, 148 pp)
Attraction Isn’t A Choice (2004, 175pp)

Booklets

Sex Secrets (2001, 13 pp)
The 8 Personality Types That Naturally Attract Women (2001, 11 pp)
Bridges (2001, 11 pp)
How To Change Yourself (2004, 20 pp)

Videography

Superseded (no longer for sale)

Double Your Dating (3 DVDs) - intro by David Riker
Advanced Series (1st edition, 2002) (6 DVDs includes the above 3 DVDs) - Guests: Ben (Orion), Hypnotica, Rick H, Riker, and Brent
Sexual Communication (1st edition, 2003)

Foundation Programs

Advanced Series (2nd edition, 9 DVDs) - Guests: Lance , Dave, Zan , Christian Carter, Guy Blews, Neil Strauss (Style) , Brent, Doc, Leil Lowndes, and Geoffrey Miller
Sexual Communication (2nd edition, 3 DVDs) - Guests: Ben (Orion), Patty Contenta, and Tyler

Inner Game Programs

On Being A Man (4 DVDs, 2004)
Deep Inner Game (7 DVDs, 2005) - with Dr. Paul
Mastery With Women (10 DVDs, 2004) - Guests: David X, Tari, Amber Lupton, Mystery, Marie Forleo, Rick H, Ben, Swingcat (Thundercat), Eric (Hypnotica), Twentysix (Extramask), Mike, and Tyler
Power Sexuality (4 DVDs) - Guests: Patty Contenta, David Shade, Laura Moore, and Hypnotica & Steve P

Technique Programs

Cocky Comedy (3 DVDs, 2005) - Guests: Will, Twentysix (Extramask), Sean, and Richard
Body Language (4 DVDs, 2005) - Guests: Mystery , Hypnotica & Steve P, Patty Contenta, Craig, Will, and Tyler
Bars & Clubs (4 DVDs) - Guests: Craig, Ben (Orion), Will, Marie Forleo, and Tyler
Approaching Women (5 DVDs) - Guests: Craig, Will, Toecutter, Tyler, Mystery , Dr. Paul, WinGirls, and Sean
Meeting Women Online (5 DVDs) - Guests: Neil Strauss (Style) , Richard, Brent, Chet, Katherin Scott, Dave M, and Kevin
77 Laws (2 DVDs) - No guest speakers