In the cold of night

Night fell, and all around us the woods started to come alive. As the temperature dropped below zero, our usual lack of planning took a poignant turn: We still had about a hundred beers, five wine bottles, two pitchers of vodka…

And three sleeping bags.

For ten people.

At first it was funny, in the way that an ulcer of the colon tends to be funny. We shared a few more drinks and laughed about the whole thing.

Then it was cold.

Then our teeth started to chatter, our hands to tremble and we began to have trouble articulating coherent sentences (ok, that was the alcohol). The first few to break formation made a mad dash for the car. It would normally fit 5 people, tops, but seven guys and girls managed to squeeze in. That left Lydia, Ramon and me. We stared at each other for a while, and then Lydia and me tentatively grabbed two sleeping bags and slowly backed away from Ramon’s resentful stare.

Lydia and me were not involved in any way, so we made an honest attempt at sleeping in our respective bags, but we were still freezing our asses off, so it was decided that we would use one of the bags as a blanket and huddle together inside the other one.

What? It was a matter of survival!

We spooned together inside the sleeping bag. You have to understand, there was nothing sexual to this situation. This was more akin to that scene in “Empire” where Luke cuts up his camel thing and sleeps in its entrails. Only, you know… with less entrails. And more boobs. Which brings us to…

- Sergio?
- Yeah?
- You’re grabbing my tit.
- Am I?
- Yeah.
- mmm… no, I’m pretty sure this is your belly.
- No, you’re grabbing my tit. Stop it.
- I’m not grabbing your tit. You’re drunk.
- I think I’m qualified to know where my tits are. And you’re grabbing my tit. — By this point I just wanted to sleep, so I did the only thing I could.
- THIS is your tit!
- Ohmygod!! You grabbed my tit! Hey everyone! He grabbed my tit! Sergio grabbed my tit!!

The rest of the guys, being piss drunk and freezing, were not in the mood for lenghty discussions, so they just shouted from the car.

- Sergio, did you grab her tit?
- Um… yeah… just did.
- Left one or right one?
- Right one.
- Good! Now grab the other one and play bounce or something, if that will shut up the both of you! We’re trying to sleep here, assholes!

We giggled non-stop for the rest of the night.