20 Things Confident People Don‘t Do（中英文）

Number 1 - They Don't Over-Focus On Appearance
When someone is self-confident, they have a healthy relationship with their appearance. They stay fit and well-groomed, and they eat healthy foods, because they know their bodies deserve to be cared for properly. Confident people improve the things they can, strive to put their best foot forward, and then accept themselves as they are.
第一，他们不过度关注自己的外貌。自信的人对自己的外貌抱有积极的态度。他们保持健康，打扮得体，他们吃健康的食物，因为他们知道要爱惜自己的身体。自信的人会积极改善周围的事物，做事情总是全力以赴，并且他们能接纳自己本来的样子。

Number 2 - They Don't Try To Change Their Personality
Whether someone's an introvert or an extrovert, they can still be confident. Confident people understand that self-assurance comes from feeling good about who they are and what they can achieve by being completely authentic. They don't try to be someone they're not, because they understand that self-acceptance is a vital element of self-confidence.
第二，他们不会强求改变自己的性格。无论人们是内向还是外向，他们都可以很自信。自信的人知道，自信来源于保持本真，对自己感到愉悦，对自己的成就感到满意。他们不强迫自己变成别人的样子，因为他们明白，悦纳自己是自信的重要组成部分。

Number 3 - They Don't Chase Likes And Follows On Social Media
For confident people, social media is about sharing what's happening - and not a place for being worshiped. They don't get disappointed when they post something and get only two thumbs up on it. You may also find their profiles to be more interesting, and less self-centered than insecure people. They would rather post a quote they love, or a picture of a tree than a flaming hot selfie!
第三，他们不在社交媒体上随波逐流。对于自信的人而言，社交媒体只是一个分享日常生活的工具，它不是为了让人们感到被膜拜而存在的。如果他们发的动态只得了一两个赞，他们也不会感到失望。你也许会发现，比起那些缺乏安全感的人，他们的头像更有趣，没有那些人的那么自恋。他们更愿意用一句自己喜欢的话、或者一棵树来做头像，而不是用一张火辣的自拍。

Number 4 - They Don't Ignore Their Own Judgment
Self-confident people don't assume other people have all the answers or know best. They value their own good judgment and listen to their own intuition. They recognize that they have the ability, on their own, to come up with the answers for most situations. They may seek input and guidance, but they are comfortable making a final decision when the time comes.
第四，他们不会忽略自己的判断。自信的人并不认为其他人无所不知，他们重视自己的判断，并且相信自己的直觉。他们很清楚，对于大多数事情，自己能够独立地想出解决办法。他们可能会寻求帮助，但是遇到要做决定的时候，他们总是能当机立断。

Number 5 - They Don't Put Others Down To Feel Good
Confident people don't need to undermine others or make negative comments about them, their success, or wealth, in order to build themselves up. They are genuinely happy for the success of others, and allow themselves to feel inspired by those successes. Furthermore, they don't assume successful people have something special that others don't have. They look to other happy, successful people for ideas and motivation - to create the same success in their lives.
第五，他们不通过贬低他人来获得快乐。自信的人不需要打压别人，不需要诋毁别人的成就或者财富来抬高自己。他们会从别人的成功中寻求灵感。此外，他们不认为那些成功的人有什么独特之处。他们在那些快乐的、成功的人身上获得灵感和动力，这样一来，他们也能获得同样的成就。

Number 6 - They Don't Dominate Conversations
A confident person understands that a conversation is an exchange of thoughts, and not a solo act. They take the time to learn what others are passionate about - even if they aren't particularly interested in the topic. They know that by actively listening and paying attention to others, they are much more likely to learn and grow.
第六，和他人交流时，他们不会控制对话。自信的人知道，对话是思想的交流，而不是演独角戏。就算他们不感兴趣，他们也会耐心地了解他人喜欢什么。他们知道，如果能够积极地、专注地倾听别人，自己就更有可能得到收获和成长。

Number 7 - They Don't Avoid Conflict
Confident people know that conflict is part of life, and they don't see it as something to be completely avoided - they see it as something to manage effectively. They don't go along to get along – even when it means having uncomfortable conversations or making unpleasant decisions.
第七，他们直面冲突。自信的人知道，冲突是生活的一部分，他们并不认为我们应该绝对避免冲突，而是要合理地应对冲突。就算这意味着他们要面对一些令人不快的谈话或者一些糟糕的决定，他们也不会为了得过且过而妥协。

Number 8 - They Don't Cling To People
People with confidence can stand on their own two feet. It's not to say that they don't enjoy the company of others. But they are integral enough to enjoy their own company, and to feel confident - even when they are alone, or in a new social situation.
第八，他们不会刻意追求陪伴。自信的人是能够独立的。这不是说他们不喜欢和别人待在一起，而是说，就算他们自己一个人待着或者身处一个新环境，他们也能够享受独处的时光，能够很自信。

Number 9 - They Don't Wait For Permission To Act
Confident people don't need somebody to tell them what to do, or when to do it. They don't waste time asking themselves questions like "Can I?" or "Should I?" If they ask themselves anything, it's "Why wouldn't I?" Whether it's running a meeting when the chairperson doesn't show up, or going the extra mile to solve a customer's problem, it doesn't even occur to them to wait for someone else to take care of it. They see what needs to be done, and they do it.
第九，他们做事情不需要得到别人的允许。自信的人不需要别人跟自己说该做什么，或者该什么时候做。我做得到吗？我应该这样做吗？他们不会浪费时间去纠结这样的问题。何乐而不为呢？他们只会问自己这样的问题。领导不在时把会议办好，多费些心思去处理客户的问题，诸如此类的事情，他们从来不会等着别人来做。他们能看见需要解决的事情，然后马上着手。

Number 10 - They Don't Seek Happiness From The Outside
Happiness is a critical element of confidence, because in order to be confident in what you do, you have to be happy with who you are. People who brim with confidence derive their sense of pleasure and satisfaction from their own accomplishments - as opposed to what other people think. They understand that no matter what anyone says - you're never as good or bad as people say you are.
第十，他们不在外界追求快乐。快乐是自信的重要组成部分，这是因为，如果你对自己做的事情感到自信，那么你首先要对自己感到满意。那些非常自信的人，不是从别人的看法中获得快乐，而是从自己的成就中获得愉悦和满足。他们很清楚，无论别人的评价如何，你没有别人所说的那么厉害，也不像别人说的那么糟糕。

Number 11 - They Don't Focus On Weaknesses
Most people think it's worthwhile to put more time into strengthening their weaknesses. Those with confidence, however, understand that success comes with continuing to improve upon your strengths. They are able to accept their own weaknesses gracefully, and put more time and effort into endeavors where they know they'll have more likelihood of success. They maximize their time and energy this way.
第十一，他们不会揪着自己的缺点不放。很多人认为，多花时间去改进自己的缺点是很直的去做的事情。然而，自信的人很清楚，不断强化自己的优势才能成功。他们能够坦然面对自己的缺点，把更多的时间和精力，放在能真正让自己成功的事情上。这样一来，他们就能最大化地利用自己的时间和精力。

Number 12 - They Don't Settle For Mediocre
Self-assured people have a vision of what they want, and they go for it. They don't hold back and allow their fears to keep them from trying. They push themselves to go above and beyond. They set the bar high for themselves and demand excellence. They know they are as deserving of the best - in both work and life - as anyone else.
第十二，他们不甘平庸。自信的人很清楚自己想要什么，并努力去争取。他们不会退缩，不会因为害怕而放弃尝试。他们不断督促自己，向上走，往前走。他们对自己的要求很高，追求优秀。他们知道，和其他人一样，无论在生活中还是工作上，他们都值得拥有最好的一切。

Number 13 - They Don't Neglect Their Skills
So much of low self-confidence comes from not having the skills or training needed for great success. Those with confidence see clearly what they need to do to improve their chances of success. They are willing to commit the time and energy to improving their skills, advancing their training, or getting more education, in order to be more confident in their abilities.
第十三，他们很重视自己的技能。很多人不自信，是因为他们没有掌握能让自己有所成就的技能，也没有接受过相关的训练。而那些自信的人很清楚地知道自己需要做什么才能成功。他们愿意付出大量的实践和精力去打磨自己的技能，追求更好的训练，获取更多的教育，这样他们才能对自己的能力有自信。

Number 14 - They Don't Need Constant Praise
Have you ever been around someone who constantly needs to hear how great they are? Well, confident people are not like this – they don't need constant praise. They know that their success does not depend on other people's approval, and they understand that no matter how well they perform, there's always going to be somebody out there offering nothing but criticism. Confident people also know that the kind of confidence that's dependent on praise from other people, isn't really confidence at all - it's narcissism.
第十四，他们不需要源源不断的夸奖。你有没有遇到过那种总是需要人家认同他们的人？好吧，自信的人可不是这样的，他们不需要别人老是夸他们。他们知道自己的成功并不取决于他人的认可，他们明白，无论自己做得有多好，总是会有人刻薄地批评他们。自信的人知道，依靠别人的褒扬来建立的自信，根本不是真正的自信，这只不过是自恋罢了。

Number 15 - They Don't Resist Learning New Things
People with confidence, are life-long learners. Even when they are experts in their field, they have a learner's mindset. They know that there is so much more in life to achieve, and so many ways to grow. They aren't entrenched in old ways of doing things, or old beliefs about what is right or best. They look for ways to stretch themselves, through new endeavors.
第十五，他们乐于学习新事物。自信的人是终生学习者。就算他们是自己领域内的专家，他们也会怀着学习者的心态。他们知道，人生中，他们要去争取的东西还有很多，成长的途径也有很多。他们不会墨守成规，不会盲目相信那些老旧的观点。他们不断付出新的努力，去寻找让自己成长的方法。

Number 16 - They Don't Get Too Comfortable
Confident people understand that getting too comfortable is the mortal enemy of achieving goals. That's because they know that comfort leads to contentment, and contentment leads to stagnation. When they start feeling comfortable, they take it as a red flag, and start pushing their boundaries, so that they can continue to grow. They understand that a little discomfort is a good thing.
第十六，他们不贪图安逸。自信的人知道，如果你感到很安逸，那么你就很难达成自己的目标。这是因为，一时的安逸会使人盲目满足，而满足导致止步不前。如果他们发现自己开始感到安逸，他们会警惕起来，并且开始不断督促自己去挑战极限，这样才能继续进步。他们知道，一点点的不适感反而是好事。

Number 17 - They Don't Tell Themselves Stories
Confident people don't lie to themselves. They don't tell themselves things like, "I'm too old," or "I'm not smart enough," or "I'm not attractive enough." They don't hide behind denial or limiting beliefs that simply offer an excuse to remain stuck in the status quo. They are real with themselves, even when the truth seems daunting.
第十七，他们不会自己找借口。自信的人不会自欺欺人，他们不会跟自己说，我太老了，我不够聪明，我魅力不够，这样的话。他们不会让反对的声音或者狭隘的思想阻止自己，这样的东西是借口，只会让他们困于现状。就算现实很令人沮丧，他们也会对自己诚实。

Number 18 - They Don't Put Things Off
Why do people procrastinate? Sometimes it's because they're lazy. A lot of times, though, it's because they're afraid - afraid of change, failure, or maybe even success. Confident people don't put things off. They don't sit around waiting for the right time or the perfect circumstances, because they believe in themselves, and expect that their actions will lead them closer to their goals. They know that today is the only time that matters. If they don't think it's the right time, they make it the right time.
第十八，他们不会拖拖拉拉。为什么人们会拖延？有时候，这是因为他们太懒。而更多的时候，是因为他们害怕，他们害怕改变，害怕失败，甚至害怕成功。自信的人不会拖拖拉拉。他们不会懒懒散散，等着所谓的好时机到来，因为他们对自己有信心，并且很期待自己的行动会让自己离目标越来越近。他们知道当下才是最重要的。如果他们认为时机还不成熟，那么他们就会改变现状，创造时机。

Number 19 - They Don't Force Their Views on Others
Confident people don't force their beliefs on anyone else - whether those beliefs are political or religious. They have a clear understanding that these beliefs and choices are personal for everyone. They may stand up for themselves when others oppose - but will never challenge what other people think, nor feel the need to tell them that they are wrong.
第十九，他们不会强迫他人认同自己的观点。自信的人不会强迫他人认同自己的观点，无论这是政治观点还是宗教观点之类的。他们很清楚，对于每个人而言，这些观点和选择，都是人家自己的事。在他人反对自己的时候，他们可能会捍卫自己的观点，但是他们绝不会挑衅他人的观点，也不会觉得自己一定要让别人知道他们是错的。

Number 20 - They Don't Compromise Their Values
Having 'defined core values' gives foundational principles to any pursuit in life. Confident people live in alignment with their values, and will never compromise themselves or what they hold dear. They use these values as they make decisions in both life and work - even if it means giving up something desirable in the short term. 
第二十，他们不会让自己的价值观妥协。无论人们追求什么，坚定的价值观都是最基础的。自信的人根据自己的价值观或者，并且绝不会让自己或者自己珍惜的东西向他人妥协。在生活中和工作中，他们根据自己的价值观来做决定，就算这意味着不得不暂时放弃一些很诱人的东西。

When it comes to confidence, one thing is certain: Truly confident people always have the upper hand over the doubtful and the skittish, because they inspire others, and they make things happen. Embracing the behaviors of confident people is a great way to increase your odds for success, which in turn, will lead to more confidence. Remember, building confidence is a journey, not a destination!
关于自信，有一个真理，那就是，真正自信的人，总是胜过那些满腹怀疑的人、那些心怀诡计的人，因为自信的人能够鼓舞他人，他们很有执行力。如果你想早日成功，那就向自信的人学习，这也会让你更加自信。请记住，自信的建立是一个过程，而不是一个终点！