Writing with influence and impact

Principle of Business writing:

5C: complete, clear, concise, courteous, correct

Organizing business emails:

1. introduction (why are you writing)

possible purpse words: ( I am writing to propose..."

announce, indentify, requrest, clarify, invite, respond, compare, justify, review, confirm, notify, summarize, describe, propose, update, evaluate, recommend, suggest, enquire, seek your approval

it has com to my attention that

i have just discovered that

Further to our telephone conversation this morning, I would like to confirm

I have received your email sent/dated 23 July regarding to the service of one of our customer service stuff

opening:

  Thank you for your request which we received on

  we refer to your ... dated

  we refer to your email regarding/concering about the above subject

  I am writing to enquire about/seek your apporoval on/request whether ...

  I have recently received an instructon from head office in connction with/regarding/concerning

 refering to my recent visit to Shanghai, I would like to update you ...

  We are greatly concerned over the comments you have made.

closing:

  I looking forward to receiving the necessary documenation

  I would appreciate it if you could send me the necessary documenations as soon as possible.

  I would be grateful if you could let me have your answer by/(on or before) the end of this week.

  If you require any furture information, please feel free to contact me at XXX

  If you have any further queries, please do not hesitate to contact me.

  Would it be possible for me to receive your decision by Friday?

  Your approval would be appreciated.

  Thank you in advance for your cooperation.

  Your replay is sincerely appreciated.

2. The Details(facts, dates, data, figures)

Functions & standard expressions of memos/Emails.

1 Enquires: Could you confirm? could you tell me? would you let me know? I am writing to enquire .

2. request: Please could you? could you please? i would appreciate it if. I would be grateful if ... would it be possible to ???

3. Seeking approval: I would like to/i am writing to - seek yourapproval to/ for . your approval would be highly appreciated.

4. inform/ explain/give information: I would like to explain/ inform you that. please note that... Please be informed that... Please be advised that... OR according to our recoreds, our records show that.

5. confirm: usually be sent downwards: to confirm our discussion.... in confirmation of our phone call... This is to confirm that... I am writing to confirm that....after confirming/checking with our technical consultant....

6. Reminds: Please remember that ... You should remember that ... I would like to remind you that ... this is to remind you that...

7. warning: we urgently need the following ... this is your final warning.. if these regulations are broken again, a written warning will be given.

8. suggestion : May I suggest that... It is suggested that... I would lkie to suggest that you .. you could ask the operation manager to ...

9. recommendations: I would like to recommend that ... it is recommended that... he should ...

10. giving good news: We are pleased to inform you that ... we are able to ... we are happy to let you know that....

11. giving bad news: Unfortunately, we are unable to ... I/we regret to inform you that ....Regrettablly.....

12. attachements: I am please to attach ... I have attached .... I am attaching....

13. clarifying: I would (just) like to clarify the arrangement for next week. There are a few points which need clarifying. First(ly),.. second(ly).... To clarify, I'd like to add that...

14. findings: it was found that, we discovered that, there were several, it was felt that, it was generally the case that, most people thought that

15. certain: it is clear/obvious that, it would seems/appears/ [clear/probable/possible] that, it is likely that, There is no doubt that... probably, possibly, likely, perhaps.

Writing in neutral style

1. use active voice(focus attention on doer). only use passive voce when unknown doer(the money was stolen) or when you wish to use a you attitude( your order is processed at this moment) or mistake is sensitive

2. use plenty of personal references. e.g. You, I, We, etc. This helps build a warmer relationship with your audience.

3. avoid using abbraviations and informal oral english: like gonna, gotta, wanna, & u,

4. avoid using old fashioned expression, like upon receipt of, hereby, herewith

 

Please inform us of your requirement.	could you please tell us exactly what you n
I am afraid I will not be able to attend	sorry, I'm afraid I can't attend
We regret to advise you that	I'am sorry to tell you that
it can be assured that	I promise/I can guarantee that
It would be appreciated if you could	could you/ I was wondering if you could/ plese could you
You are hereby reminded that	You haven't
we note from our records that you have not	don't forget/we would like to remind you that
the process is monitored	we weill keep track of the process
it is necessary for me to	I need to
however/in addition / therefor	but /also/ so
your acceptance of our heartfelt apologies is sought	I'm sorry for/Please acceptour apologies for
with refernce to the above-mentioned	regarding/ with regard to....
the pleasure of making your acquaintance next week is warmly anticipated	i look forward to meeting you next week
your further instruction in this matter would be appreciatted	please advise
as per our tele-con	furthur to???
attached please find	I've attached
for your kind perusal	for your review
we are in recipt of	we received
at your earliest convenience /in the near future	soon
pursuant to your request/in compliance with/in accordance with your request	as your requested
as per your request
please kindly send me	could you send me
thank you for your kind reply	thank you
plese contact the undersigned	please contact the corresponding person
with regard to/in regard to /with refernce to/ with respect to/	regarding/about/
in light of the above	based on the above/ through for?
captioned subject	the above subject
your email received 12 February	your email of 12 Feb

use different words to avoid bore your audience.

do --> perform, implement  a lot --> signifigent, substantial, noticable, solid

get--> recive, acquire,  want--> desire intend require

downward communication: don't use 疑问句 , use 肯定句的语气

use simple word:

endeavour to --> try to, furnish me with --> provide, accede to --> agree, scrutiny --> review, expedite--> speed up, deem --> decide, pertaining--> regarding..

anticipate--> expect, peruse--> review/read

Avoid Noun clusters:

Reply to customers/colleagues

The first paragraph:

(formal)

1. Thank you for your e-mail of 29 February regarding the above requrest. 

2. I refer to your e-mail of 29 February requesting/enquiring about ...

3. I am writing with regard to your recent e-mail.

(Neutual)

1. Regarding your request yesterday for an update on

2. Thanks for your e-mail regarding...

3. Thanks for getting in touch.

The second paragraph:

agree:

1. we shar be please to carry out your instruction to

2. as requested, we have carried out your instruction to

3. I am please to provide you with more details regarding ...

refuse a request:

1. we regret that we are unable to

2. in the best interests of our customers, we do not normally

3. unforunately, staff are required to

4. sorry, all test benches will be offline this weekend, so we won't be able to run your....

agree  to compromise:

1. we are happy to renegotiate the above contract, although....

2. unfortunately, we are unable to accept the conditions stated in your last e-mail, however..

confirming:

1. I can confirm that

2. I would lkie to confirm that

3. This is to confirm...

4. In confimation of our last conversation...

The final paragraph.

1. I hope that these arrangements will prove agreeble.

2. I hope that these arrangements meet your approval.

3. Please contact me if you have any queries on this or any other matters.

4. Please contact me if i can be of further assistance to you

Setting a deadline:

1. If you could let know by XXX, I would appreciate it.

2. A response by XXX would be appreciated.

3. Would it be possible for you to get back to me by XXX? That way I can...

Updating:

1. Further to our last conversation..

2. haveing looked into XXX, I can now provide the following information

3. Regarding the above subject, the following should be noted.

4. I am please to pass on/provide some information regarding ....

5. I would like to update you on...

But, however, nevertheless, while, on the other hand, although, whereas, in spite of

and, also, not only... but also; besides, furthermore, moreover, in addition

to conclude, in conclusion, finally, to sum up, in short

as, since, because

as a result, therefore, so, consequently, hence, thus, for this resaon,

to, so that, so as to, in order, to

in the same way, similiarly

if... then, provided, providing, so long as; unless

either, alternatively

in fact, actually, as a matter of fact

clearly obviously, of course

especially, above all, in particular

in other words, that is to say, i.e.

then, next, first(ly), last(ly), after that, finally, second(ly) in the first place

in addition, on another point, moreover

in relation to, with reference to, regarding

in general, on the whole, usually

for example, for instance, e.g.

emphasis: 2, 3, 1

Paragraph structure: 1. topic sentence, 2 supporting points, 3, concluding sentnce

Numerical information

oil price

word partership	change verbs	"How" word	When, if etc
oil price	dropped	dramatically	last year
production costs	have risen	steadily/constantly	dur to paper price increases
business confidence	will increase	sharply	if the dollar fails
an upturn, an surge, an upsruge, an upward trend	rise, go up, increase, jump, improve, grow,shoot up, soar, rocket take off expand	nine percent, around 800 million, about that many people, more that 80, some 12 per cent, 20 per cent or more, approximately the same number
a downturn, fall, drop, decrease, decline	fall shrink, drop, decrease, decline, come down, fall off, slump,slip, plummet, plunge	grew by a third, almost doubled, more that double, went up by half, grew two /three /four fold, was eight time bigger
	down out, remain steady, hold firm, stabilise, level out, stay at teh same level stagnate, remain constant	a rise from xx to ... to increase by 50% to fall by 30% an increase of 7.5 per cent over last year
	reach a peak,  peak , top out	(considerably, more than, around, a little over, exactly, almost, a little under, much less than 50%) only/ barely 200 sold(disappointed), as many as/nearly 200 sold(pleased)
hit a low	reach a low point, bottom out, recover
	fluctuate

3. response? / action?

     follow-up action

4. a courteous close