Q:How do you develop confidence when you have nothing to be confident about?
They say "we all have things we're good at and bad at in life. Gifts and obstacles." I disagree. Some people, like me, just have nothing going for them. Only their behavior and nothing external or physical or mental or talent-wise, at all.
How can I develop confidence when I have nothing to be confident about, including looks, height, income, career success, etc? Where would I find a source of self-pride from when there isn't one?
A:I am sorry you feel this way, I’ve had similar issues with myself.
However, I think you are approaching this the wrong way. You might not like my way, that's fine, but here it is.
I know people who have all the things you mentioned and are not confident.
Confidence does not lie in achievements, looks or skills. Not real confidence.
There is a difference between;
1) confidence with a qualifier, e.g.,
2) overall confidence in one’s self,
The former is specific to achievements, looks or skills that come naturally or through work. You can grow to feel confident in them, sure.
The latteris a more fundamental feeling of self-trust: no matter what life throws at you, you can handle it – kind of feeling.
And contrary to most answers here, I think overall confidence is not simply thesummation of qualified confidences.
The reverse, however, is true.
Confident people aren’t more sure about a positive result, they are just not as afraid of failure.
This is because their sense of self isn’t tied to achievements, skills, or looks. Which leads me to my next point.
How do you improve your overall confidence?
In my personal experience, integrity has been the main driver of real confidence. Integrity embodies compassion, generosity of spirit, honesty, reciprocal actions.
You can put yourself through almost anything as long as at the end of the day, you can say:
This is how you start to get confidence in yourself, practice integrity.
It doesn’t mean you won’t have self-doubt, or that you won’t fail, or that others won’t disagree.
If you have nothing else, have that.