Today’starget




First thing first ,God loves me and godknows who I am ,god sends me the dreams ,god wants me to be who I am,and Godwant me to be strong

God wants me to know who I am and what Iwant ,god wants me to hold it together

My feet stinks and I want to ignore it andwish it doesn’t happen

God wants me to hold it together and besolid


First :TCS system knowing andpreparation,oracle  RAC preparation

Second :the bloody job preparation ,I wasexcited about it ,and now I forget why I did it ?

I got confused and lost the bloody control

I mean what the fuck is going on

Why the job I want doesn’t want me ?

Or what exactly job do I really want?

I got confused and scared and totally outof control

And now my feet stinks like shit

I just want to get the hell out of it

I just want to be a simple person ,and behappy

Why the damn reality has to be socomplicated ?


I just want to be simple and happy ,gettingthe thing I really want ,and now I feel like everything has gone out of control,I mean ,what the fuck is going on?



Why this every thing happen to me ?


I just want to get the hell out of here andrun




That scares the crap out of me.


I guess all the things happened because Imade all the decisions but I’m not ready for the consequences of that, I justrun away.

Because I’m the captain of the ship and Idon’t know what to do


Why I became the captain of the ship?


Why ,why who should be responsible for that,my mom,she used to make decisions for me ,she used to take care of me


I don’t want to make decisions myself and Idon’t want to grow up

Why everything can just be simple and happylike old days,like when I’m just a boy

I don’t want to be a man.




You think like this just because thingswent bad and out of your control,you just want to things to be good andsmooth.The things is the people you warship,they have no idea how to do iteither

When things went smooth ,you will want tocontrol your things again,taking control of yourself is what you want to do.AndI thing it should happen not just in the things went smooth ,but also whenthings went bad

You can be control of making things smoothand good ,that ‘s what you can do.

You can make things brilliant and undercontrol,do not have too much fantasies ,do not have too much expectations ,youshould clean your head ,make good expectations of your strength.


Clean your head ,and gets these

But my brother said that during the jobhunting ,millions of things unexpected happened

So ,I hava fantasies,I fancy that tomorrowthe best thing in the world might happen to me and that’s lovely .

Maybe my brother is right ,maybe mycharacter doesn’t suit the world,I’m stubborn ,control freak,


FUCK YOU ,FUCK YOU ALL

you freak ,I want to fuck you all

I can't get it together ,I'm not solid

I can't see light now ,fuck you ,fuck off