dairy —— 2.18：something about falling in love

        I have change a lot these days. I prefer to be myself. And I enjoy doing some new things which I won't do during the past cage time. 

        And I try to talk to or text to the girls these days. Should I never get a girlfriend until I got a higher education or earned a lot money when I must be 30s ， 40s ? Not easy to live alone when I am a young boy.  I want to love someone explicitly and feel beloved. Love is indeed in need. In the past years whether in the middle school , high school or college, I just pretended that I can live well without the girlfriend and I should be stronger enough to attract someone in the future. So what's the future? 

        I uesd to agree if you want to fall in love on account of feeling void,lonely and void you shouldn't get in love. But if we don't feel in love, how counld we get rid of the loneliness.That doesn't make sense and just a contradiction.

        Getting a job and Making money is the most thing I need. I can't afford to live a decent life with my future girlfriend if I don't get a regular income. So go away the meaningless things. Be away from my parents' control as soon as possible. Choose the best way to earn money as soon as possible. I hate the feeling of loneliness at all. I want the independence. I want the freedom. I want the feeling of love and beloved.

6：00 p.m. 

        good bye! That's wonderful app and i met the heart one but faced the dilemma. Make money and go independent so that get rid of all the constrains. i hate the loneliness and hopefully money will bring me out of it.