Steve Pavlina:如何在20分钟内找到人生目标?


How do you discover your real purpose in life? I’m not talking about your job, your daily responsibilities, or even your long-term goals. I mean the real reason why you’re here at all — the very reason you exist.

Perhaps you’re a rather nihilistic person who doesn’t believe you have a purpose and that life has no meaning. Doesn’t matter. Not believing that you have a purpose won’t prevent you from discovering it, just as a lack of belief in gravity won’t prevent you from tripping. All that a lack of belief will do is make it take longer, so if you’re one of those people, just change the number 20 in the title of this blog entry to 40 (or 60 if you’re really stubborn). Most likely though if you don’t believe you have a purpose, then you probably won’t believe what I’m saying anyway, but even so, what’s the risk of investing an hour just in case?

Here’s a story about Bruce Lee which sets the stage for this little exercise. A master martial artist asked Bruce to teach him everything Bruce knew about martial arts. Bruce held up two cups, both filled with liquid. “The first cup,” said Bruce, “represents all of your knowledge about martial arts. The second cup represents all of my knowledge about martial arts. If you want to fill your cup with my knowledge, you must first empty your cup of your knowledge.”

If you want to discover your true purpose in life, you must first empty your mind of all the false purposes you’ve been taught (including the idea that you may have no purpose at all).

So how to discover your purpose in life? While there are many ways to do this, some of them fairly involved, here is one of the simplest that anyone can do. The more open you are to this process, and the more you expect it to work, the faster it will work for you. But not being open to it or having doubts about it or thinking it’s an entirely idiotic and meaningless waste of time won’t prevent it from working as long as you stick with it — again, it will just take longer to converge.

Here’s what to do:

  1. Take out a blank sheet of paper or open up a word processor where you can type (I prefer the latter because it’s faster).
  2. Write at the top, “What is my true purpose in life?”
  3. Write an answer (any answer) that pops into your head. It doesn’t have to be a complete sentence. A short phrase is fine.
  4. Repeat step 3 until you write the answer that makes you cry. This is your purpose.

That’s it. It doesn’t matter if you’re a counselor or an engineer or a bodybuilder. To some people this exercise will make perfect sense. To others it will seem utterly stupid. Usually it takes 15-20 minutes to clear your head of all the clutter and the social conditioning about what you think your purpose in life is. The false answers will come from your mind and your memories. But when the true answer finally arrives, it will feel like it’s coming to you from a different source entirely.

For those who are very entrenched in low-awareness living, it will take a lot longer to get all the false answers out, possibly more than an hour. But if you persist, after 100 or 200 or maybe even 500 answers, you’ll be struck by the answer that causes you to surge with emotion, the answer that breaks you. If you’ve never done this, it may very well sound silly to you. So let it seem silly, and do it anyway.

As you go through this process, some of your answers will be very similar. You may even re-list previous answers. Then you might head off on a new tangent and generate 10-20 more answers along some other theme. And that’s fine. You can list whatever answer pops into your head as long as you just keep writing.

At some point during the process (typically after about 50-100 answers), you may want to quit and just can’t see it converging. You may feel the urge to get up and make an excuse to do something else. That’s normal. Push past this resistance, and just keep writing. The feeling of resistance will eventually pass.

You may also discover a few answers that seem to give you a mini-surge of emotion, but they don’t quite make you cry — they’re just a bit off. Highlight those answers as you go along, so you can come back to them to generate new permutations. Each reflects a piece of your purpose, but individually they aren’t complete. When you start getting these kinds of answers, it just means you’re getting warm. Keep going.

It’s important to do this alone and with no interruptions. If you’re a nihilist, then feel free to start with the answer, “I don’t have a purpose,” or “Life is meaningless,” and take it from there. If you keep at it, you’ll still eventually converge.

When I did this exercise, it took me about 25 minutes, and I reached my final answer at step 106. Partial pieces of the answer (mini-surges) appeared at steps 17, 39, and 53, and then the bulk of it fell into place and was refined through steps 100-106. I felt the feeling of resistance (wanting to get up and do something else, expecting the process to fail, feeling very impatient and even irritated) around steps 55-60. At step 80 I took a 2-minute break to close my eyes, relax, clear my mind, and to focus on the intention for the answer to come to me — this was helpful as the answers I received after this break began to have greater clarity.

Here was my final answer: to live consciously and courageously, to resonate with love and compassion, to awaken the great spirits within others, and to leave this world in peace.

When you find your own unique answer to the question of why you’re here, you will feel it resonate with you deeply. The words will seem to have a special energy to you, and you will feel that energy whenever you read them.

Discovering your purpose is the easy part. The hard part is keeping it with you on a daily basis and working on yourself to the point where you become that purpose.

If you’re inclined to ask why this little process works, just put that question aside until after you’ve successfully completed it. Once you’ve done that, you’ll probably have your own answer to why it works. Most likely if you ask 10 different people why this works (people who’ve successfully completed it), you’ll get 10 different answers, all filtered through their individual belief systems, and each will contain its own reflection of truth.

Obviously, this process won’t work if you quit before convergence. I’d guesstimate that 80-90% of people should achieve convergence in less than an hour. If you’re really entrenched in your beliefs and resistant to the process, maybe it will take you 5 sessions and 3 hours, but I suspect that such people will simply quit early (like within the first 15 minutes) or won’t even attempt it at all. But if you’re drawn to read this blog (and haven’t been inclined to ban it from your life yet), then it’s doubtful you fall into this group.

Give it a shot! At the very least, you’ll learn one of two things: your true purpose in life -or- that you should unsubscribe from this blog. ;)


或许你是虚无主义者,你认为人生根本没有什么目标,也没有任何意义。没关系,认为人生没有目标并不会阻碍你找到人生的目标,那就像不相信万有引力学 说的人也同样会摔倒一样。不认为人生有目标的人可能需要更长的时间来找到你的人生目标,因此如果你属于这类人,你只需将这篇文章题目以及文章中的20分钟 改为40分钟(如果你实在是非常顽固的话,最好改为60分钟)。最有可能的是,如果你认为人生没有目标,那么你将很有可能认为我所说的是荒谬的,但即便是这样,投入一个小时来尝试一下对你会有什么损失?

下边是一个关于李小龙所做的一个演示的故事。一位武术大师向李小龙请教,他想让李小龙教会他李小龙的全部功夫。李小龙拿出两个装满水的杯子,“ 这第一杯水,”李小龙说,“代表着你所会的全部功夫,这第二杯水代表着我所会的全部功夫。如果你想将第二杯水全部倒入第一个杯子中,你必须先把第一个杯子 中的水全部倒光。”

如果你想找到你真正的人生目标,那你就必须首先清除你心中所有错误的目标( 这也包括你可能没有任何目标)。

那么怎样才能找到你的人生目标呢?虽然有很多方法可以做到,但是有一些方法非常烦杂,我所要介绍的方法任何人都可以轻易的做到。你在使用该方法时越 坦率,越希望它能够有效,你就能越快的找到你的人生目标。但是如果你对它不坦率或者你对它有疑问,亦或者你认为它完全是一个白痴且没有任何意义,纯粹是在 浪费时间,这也不会影响它起作用,只要你能够一直坚持着做下去,同样的,这只会增加你完成它所需要的时间。


  1. 拿出几张空白的纸或者打开一个文字处理软件(我比较倾向于后者,因为它比较快捷)
  2. 在纸的顶部或者文档的顶部写上:“我真正的人生目标是什么?”
  3. 写下你脑海中最先想到的一个答案(任何一个答案都行)。这个答案不必是一个完整的句子,一个简单的短语就好
  4. 重复第三个步骤,直到当你写出一个答案时,你会为之而惊叫,那它就是你的目标了。

就是这样一个简单的方法,无论你是律师还是工程师,亦或者是健身教练它都会有效。对一部分人来说这个方法会起到效果,但是另外一部分人却会认为它是 如此的愚蠢。通常它需要花费15-20分钟的时间来理顺你头脑中混杂的、被周围环境影响的人生目标,错误的答案会从你的心里和记忆中不断的冒出,但是当正 确的答案最终出现的时候,你就感觉到它好像来自于一个与其他完全不同的地方,这才是你的答案。

对于一些意识不很高的人来说,它可能需要更长的时间来将错误的答案排除,这可能会需要超过一个小时的时间。但是如果你能够坚持做下去,在你写出来 100-200个,甚至500个答案后,你定能够找到那个令你兴奋的答案,找到它之后你就可以停止下来。如果你不能按照我说的做的话,那么看起来它对你将 会是那么的愚蠢。即便它看起来是那么的好笑,但是无论如何你都要去试一试。



你可能也会发现一些答案会使你感到些许的兴奋,但是它们不会让你为之惊叫——它们只会让你感到一点心动。在你做这个测试的过程中给这些答案做个标 记,当你回过头来看它们的时候你会产生新的一系列答案。每一个答案都反映着你的一部分目标,但是它们每一个又都不是你最终目标。当你开始得到这些答案时, 那就说明你正在逐步接近正确的答案,坚持的做完这个测试。


当我做这个测试时,大概花费了25分钟,我在第106步时找到了我的最终答案。其中一些答案(让我感到一点心动的)在第17步、39步和53步中出 现,接着我的人生目标逐渐的明显,经过第100到106步的提炼,我得到了最终的答案。我在第55步到60步之间有了退却的感觉(想停下来做其他的事情, 认为这个测试会失败,感到很不耐烦甚至很恼火),在第80步我闭上我的眼睛间断了2分钟,放松身心,理顺我的思路,然后再次集中精力于寻找正确的答案—— 这将会非常有助于你找到正确的答案,我在这次休息之后,答案开始变得逐渐清晰。

这是我最后的答案: 自觉而勇敢地生活,与爱和同情心共鸣,唤醒别人伟大的灵魂,静静地离开这个世界。



如果你想问我为什么这个简单的方法会奏效,那么在你成功的做完这个测试之前先把这个问题放一边。一旦你完成了它,你可能已经知道了为什么它会奏效的 答案。很有可能是这样的情况,如果你问10个不同的人为什么它会奏效(这些人都已经成功的完成了这个测试),你可能会得到10个不同的答案,它们都产生自 他们各自的信仰体系,每一个都反映着他们各自的思考。

显然的,如果你在得到正确答案之前放弃,这个测试将不会有任何效果。我推测将会有80%-90%的人能够在一个小时内得到正确的答案。如果你一直坚 持你的信仰,抵触这个测试,那么它可能将会需要3个小时,不过我认为这部分人会早早轻易地放弃(比如说在刚刚开始15分钟后)或者根本就不去尝试它。