第13讲 面对压力
self-concordant goals resolve internal conflicts, for example, it helps us deals with anxiety, with uncertainty, with existential questions.
the best way to deal with conflict and resolve them is to have a super ordinate goal, a goal in which both sides-both conflicting sides engage in and are dependent on one another or intra-dependent.
In the same way, having a goal helps to solve internal conflicts, because it takes our mind away from those existential, often important, but sometimes diffcult questions expecially when they persist. Away from anxiety. Anxiety from depression. And we are focused on something we really, really want to do. Also, it increases the likelihod of success.
“no pain, no gain” -> “Do it better with pleasure”
Wo do it better with pleasure if we pursue our passions.
self-concordabt goals have a trickle effect.
Values in actions, the VIA
schizophrenia 精神分裂症 dysthymia 抑郁症
If we have self-concordant end and a self-concordant journey, this is what happiness is. Both present benefit (journey) as well as future benefit (outcome).
VIA -> higher level success and happiness
not juts correlational, there is a causal relation.
There are 24 character stenghts.
two exercise build on VIA
- Building capacity: It’s about identifying the character strengths and pursuing them.
- --------> 0 -------> +
indirect direct
CAPACITY
Which are the real me? Which one on when I’m engaging them I feel more energized and motivated? Or which ones do I grow and develop most from?
find 8~12 -> 5, choose any one of the character strengths from your final list and apply it.
In many ways, the VIA to the DSM is like PPEO to PTSD.
DSM: the diagnostic and statistical manual of mental disorder
- Apply it to problem solving
Use the strength and then applied it to what had been a weakness of mine.
Amy Wrzesniewski research about work orientation:
people’s perception of work can be classified into three categories:
-
job
-
career
-
calling
motivation perception expection
job: paycheck at the end of the month or the end of the work. thing have to do, chore. expect noting. look forward to TGIF
career: money and advancement. a race to the top .expectation: more prestige, more power, more money. look forward to next promotion
calling: job itself. a privilege to be engaged in. expectation: a better world。 look forward to more work.
lubricating 润滑 fiscal 财政 enervated 精疲力竭
Ambain Carter: Instead of focusing on what we can live with, we should be thinking what we can’t live without.
Few tips about setting goals:
- write them down
- set lifeline
Stress
take some time to break
Stress is a good thing if we also have recovery
Ritualize the recovery process also
The Power of Full Engagement by Tony Schwartz and Jim Loehr:
what we need to do is change our perception of our day from being marathon runners to being sprinters
sprint,recovery,sprint,recovery
a ritual recommand:
60 to 120 minuntes of sprint, work, concentrate, focus hard, go for it.
after sprit, with as little distraction as possible, have 15 minutes or so of recovery.
the flexibility of ritual
key: attain multi-level recovery
First recovery: on the micro level, 12 minutes meditation, one hour of gym, whatever it is, a lunch break
Middle: mezo level recovery and that is a good nigh sleep.
Sleep is a good investment for well being, happiness as well as for your creativity, for your memory.
Finall: vacation, recreation leads to creation.