"The Disappointment"

Dear people(only yourself know who is this people),
This is my second letter to my own friend this month, all of these use to drow light on an old and terrible things, and I really want to gain your approval.
By a word which you may not like, I surely have the right to love a girl who you don't like, and if I give up as your suggestion, it is really unfair to me or so does the girl whether she love me or not. And although as your word "the girl love you in the past but today", I still want to have a try, even though I'm the failure in the end. In my mind, things do not have a try, can difficult to determind it is true or false.
I feel very sorry, but I have to do so. I thank you give me many suggestions and advices, but my word is also the same. Maybe, I just say maybe I will get more hurt in the end, I will stand up! In fact, I don't have any confidence, so I always change slience recently. Staring at the sky, I get more:
Different from the image in your mind, I just a normal boy without any talent, and I don't have anything different from others. So far, I often hear the word "disappointment", and all of you use a unusual sight to stare at me, it certainly make me feel more and more terrible. I don't mean I need no suggestion, actually I mean I can deal! I don't want to become another one who say "disappointment" to myself.
(* I will say sorry to you, if I really wrong! I don't want to hurt anyone.)

Best Regards,
Wei CHEN