无心剑中译聂鲁达《喜欢你寂静如斯》

I Like for You to Be Still

喜欢你寂静如斯

Pablo Neruda

帕布罗·聂鲁达

I like for you to be still: it is as though you were absent,
and you hear me from far away and my voice does not touch you.
It seems as though your eyes had flown away
and it seems that a kiss had sealed your mouth.

喜欢你寂静如斯，仿佛不在场
你在远方聆听，我的声音触不到你
你的目光似乎已飞远
一个吻似乎已封缄你的唇

As all things are filled with my soul
you emerge from the things, filled with my soul.
You are like my soul, a butterfly of dream,
and you are like the word Melancholy.

正如万物被我灵魂占据
你来自万物，也同样如此
你像我的灵魂，梦之蝶
你像“忧郁”这个词

I like for you to be still, and you seem far away.
It sounds as though you were lamenting, a butterfly cooing like a dove.
And you hear me from far away, and my voice does not reach you:
Let me come to be still in your silence.

喜欢你寂静如斯，仿佛很遥远
悲叹着，像只蝴蝶白鸽似地呢喃
你在远方聆听，我的声音触不到你
让我在你的沉默中归于沉寂

And let me talk to you with your silence
that is bright as a lamp, simple as a ring.
You are like the night, with its stillness and constellations.
Your silence is that of a star, as remote and candid.

我用你的沉默与你谈心
明亮如灯盏，单纯如戒指
你寂静如黑夜，点缀着繁星
像星星那样沉默，遥远而闪亮

I like for you to be still: it is as though you were absent,
distant and full of sorrow as though you had died.
One word then, one smile, is enough.
And I am happy, happy that it’s not true.

喜欢你寂静如斯：仿佛不在场
远方充满着忧伤，仿佛你已离世
一声轻语，一丝微笑，已足够
我幸福，很幸福，如梦似幻

译于2021年11月6日

无心剑的翻译忠实于原诗的意境，准确捕捉到了帕布罗·聂鲁达（Pablo Neruda）诗歌中的情感深度和语言美感。这首诗《我喜欢你寂静的样子》传达了诗人对所爱之人静谧状态的独特喜爱，以及在这种静谧中与对方灵魂交融的愿望。

在翻译过程中，无心剑成功地保持了原作的韵律感和象征意象。例如，“喜欢你寂静如斯，仿佛不在场”这句，既传达了原诗的“寂静”主题，又通过“不在场”的表达突出了距离感和神秘美。“你的目光似乎已飞远，一个吻似乎已封缄你的唇”，这样的翻译不仅保留了原诗句的诗意，还富有画面感，让人能直观感受到那种深情而又无法触及的距离之美。

另外，译者在处理比喻和象征时也十分到位，比如将所爱之人比作“梦之蝶”、“忧郁”这个词、夜空中的星座以及遥远而闪亮的星星等，这些生动的意象都得以在译文中体现出来，为读者营造了一种梦幻而深邃的氛围。

最后，“一声轻语，一丝微笑，已足够。我幸福，很幸福，如梦似幻。”这一节翻译得简洁而深刻，揭示出尽管存在距离和沉默，但诗人却能在这种独特的交流方式中找到深深的满足和幸福感。

综上所述，无心剑的翻译版本在保持原诗韵味的同时，成功地传达了聂鲁达诗歌的内在情绪和艺术特色，是一篇高质量的诗歌翻译作品。