现代大学英语精读第二版（第三册）学习笔记（原文及全文翻译）——1B - Predictable Crises of Early Adulthood（可预测的成年危机）

Unit 1B - Predictable Crises of Early Adulthood

Predictable Crises of Early Adulthood

Gail Sheehy

Although I have indicated the ages when Americans are likely to go through each stage and the differences between men and women where they are striking, do not take the ages too seriously. The stages are the thing, and most particularly the sequence. Here is the briefest outline of the developmental ladder.

Pulling up roots

Before 18, the motto is loud and clear: "I have to get away from my parents." But the words are seldom connected to action. Generally still safely part of our families, even if away at school, we feel our autonomy to be subject to erosion from moment to moment.

After 18, we begin Pulling Up Roots in earnest. College, military service, and short-term travels are all customary vehicles our society provides for the first round trips between family and a base of one's own. In the attempt to separate our view of the world from our family's view, despite vigorous protestations to the contrary—"I know exactly what I want!"一we cast about for any beliefs we can call our own. And in the process of testing those beliefs we are often drawn to fads, preferably those most mysterious and inaccessible to our parents.

Whatever tentative memberships we try out in the world, the fear haunts us that we are really kids who cannot take care of ourselves. We cover that fear with acts of defiance and mimicked confidence. For allies to replace our parents, we turn to our contemporaries. They become conspirators.

So long as their perspective meshes with our own, they are able to substitute for the sanctuary of the family. But that doesn't last very long. And the instant they diverge from the shaky ideals of "our group," they are seen as betrayers. Rebounds to the family are common between the ages of 18 and 22.

The tasks of this passage are to locate ourselves in a peer group role, a sex role, an anticipated occupation, an ideology or world view. As a result, we gather the impetus to leave home physically and the identity to begin leaving home emotionally.

Even as one part of us seeks to be an individual, another part longs to restore the safety and comfort of merging with another. Thus one of the most popular myths of this passage is: We can piggyback our development by attaching to a Stronger One. But people who marry during this time often prolong financial and emotional ties to the family and relatives that impede them from becoming self-sufficient.

A stormy passage through the Pulling Up Roots years will probably facilitate the normal progression of the adult life cycle. If one doesn't have an identity crisis at this point, it will erupt during a later transition, when the penalties may be harder to bear.

The Trying Twenties

The Trying Twenties confront us with the question of how to take hold in the adult world. Our focus shifts from the interior turmoils of late adolescence—"Who am I?" "What is truth?"—and we become almost totally preoccupied with working out the externals.

How do I put my aspirations into effect? "What is the best way to start?" "Where do I go?" "Who can help me?" "How did you do it?"

In this period, which is longer and more stable compared with the passage that leads to it, the tasks are as enormous as they are exhilarating: To shape a Dream, that vision of ourselves which will generate energy, aliveness, and hope. To prepare for a lifework. To find a mentor if possible. And to form the capacity for intimacy, without losing in the process whatever consistency of self we have thus far mustered. The first test structure must be erected around the life we choose to try.

Doing what we "should" is the most pervasive theme of the twenties. The "shoulds" are largely defined by family models, the press of the culture, or the prejudices of our peers.

If the prevailing cultural instructions are that one should get married and settle down behind one's own door, a nuclear family is born. If instead the peers insist that one should do one's own thing, the 25-year-old is likely to harness himself onto a Harley-Davidson and burn up Route 66 in the commitment to have no commitments.

One of the terrifying aspects of the twenties is the inner conviction that the choices we make are irrevocable. It is largely a false fear. Change is quite possible, and some alteration of our original choices is probably inevitable.

Two impulses, as always, are at work. One is to build a firm, safe structure for the future by making strong commitments, to "be set." Yet people who slip into a ready-made form without much self-examination are likely to find themselves locked in.

The other urge is to explore and experiment, keeping any structure tentative and therefore easily reversible. Taken to the extreme, these are people who skip from one trial job and one limited personal encounter to another, spending their twenties in the transient state.

Although the choices of our twenties are not irrevocable, they do set in motion a Life Pattern. Some of us follow the locked-in pattern, others the transient pattern, the wunderkind pattern, the caregiver pattern, and there are a number of others. Such patterns strongly influence the particular questions raised for each person during each passage...

Buoyed by powerful illusions and belief in the power of the will, we commonly insist in our twenties that what we have chosen to do is the one true course in life. Our backs go up at the merest hint that we are like our parents, that two decades of parental training might be reflected in our current actions and attitudes.

Not me, is the motto, "I'm different."

Catch-30

Impatient with devoting ourselves to the "shoulds," a new vitality springs from within as we approach 30.

Men and women alike speak of feeling too narrow and restricted. They blame all sorts of things, but what the restrictions boil down to are the outgrowth of career and personal choices of the twenties. They may have been choices perfectly suited to that stage. But now the fit feels different. Some inner aspect that was left out is striving to be taken into account.

Important new choices must be made, and commitments altered or deepened. The work involves great change, turmoil, and often crisis-a simultaneous feeling of rock bottom and the urge to bust out.

One common response is the tearing up of the life we spent most of our twenties putting together. It may mean striking out on a secondary road toward a new vision or converting a dream of "running for president" into a more realistic goal. The single person feels a push to find a partner. The woman who was previously content at home with children chafes to venture into the world. The childless couple reconsiders children. And almost everyone who is married, especially those married for seven years, feels a discontent.

If the discontent doesn't lead to a divorce, it will, or should, call for a serious review of the marriage and of each partner's aspirations in the Catch-30 condition. The gist of that condition was expressed by a 29-year-old associate with a Wall Street law firm:

"I'm considering leaving the firm. I've been there four years now; I'm getting good feedback, but I have no clients of my own. I feel weak. If I wait much longer, it will be too late, too close to that fateful time of decision on whether or not to become a partner. I'm success-oriented. But the concept of being 55 years old and stuck in a monotonous job drives me wild. It drives me crazy now, just a little bit. I'd say that 85 percent of the time I thoroughly enjoy my work. But when I get a screwball case, I come away from court saying, 'What am I doing here?' It's a visceral reaction that I'm wasting my time. I'm trying to find some way to make a social contribution or a slot in city government. I keep saying, 'There's something more."

Besides the push to broaden himself professionally, there is a wish to expand his personal life. He wants two or three more children. "The concept of a home has become very meaningful to me, a place to get away from troubles and relax. I love my son in a way I could not have anticipated. I never could live alone."

Consumed with the work of making his own critical life-steering decisions, he demonstrates the essential shift at this age: an absolute requirement to be more self-concerned.

The self has new value now that his competency has been proved.

His wife is struggling with her own age-30 priorities. She wants to go to law school, but he wants more children. If she is going to stay home, she wants him to make more time for the family instead of taking on even wider professional commitments. His view of the bind, of what he would most like from his wife, is this:

I'd like not to be bothered. It sounds cruel, but I'd like not to have to worry about what she's going to do next week. Which is why I've told her several times that I think she should do something. Go back to school and get a degree in social work or geography or whatever. Hopefully that would fulfill her, and then I wouldn't have to worry about her line of problems. I want her to be decisive, about herself.

The trouble with his advice to his wife is that it comes out of concern with his convenience, rather than with her development. She quickly picks up on this lack of goodwill: He is trying to dispose of her. At the same time, he refuses her the same latitude to be "selfish" in making an independent decision to broaden her own horizons. Both perceive a lack of mutuality. And that is what Catch-30 is all about for the couple.

参考译文——可预测的成年危机

可预测的成年危机

盖尔·希伊

虽然我曾指出过美国人经历每个人生阶段时的大概年龄，以及男人与女人在哪些年龄段差异性较为明显，但是请不要过分在意这些年龄。人生各个阶段才是真正重要的，尤其是它们的次序。下面是对人生发展阶段的最为简洁的勾勒：

离家

18岁以前，年轻人的口号很响亮也很明确：“我必须离开父母。”但是这些口号很少被付诸行动。一般说来，实际上我们还是家庭的一部分，即使离家待在学校，我们也会时不时地感到我们的独立自主性正被削弱。

18岁以后，我们开始真正地脱离家庭。大学、兵役、短期旅行都是社会为我们提供的常见的“交通工具”，供我们第一次在家庭和自己的“基地”之间往返旅行。在试图将自己的世界观与家庭的世界观区分开来的过程中，尽管我们摆出一副雄心勃勃的样子声明——“我知道自己想要什么”，实际上我们常常为寻求所谓的自己的信念而绞尽脑汁。而在检验那些信念的过程中，我们又常常会被一时的风尚吸引，尤其是那些极其神秘的、我们的父辈难以理解的事物。

无论我们试图在外充当什么角色，我们始终摆脱不了一种恐惧，那就是：我们实际上还是一群没有能力照顾自己的孩子。于是我们用叛逆的行为和装出的自信来掩盖内心的恐惧。为了寻找能够替代父母的支持者，我们转向了同龄人。他们于是成了志同道合的人。

只要他们的观点与我们的观点一致，他们就能取代家庭的庇护。但是这并不能持续很久。一旦同龄人的观点与我们这个“小团体”的观点相左，我们就会将他们视作叛徒。重新投入家庭的怀抱，在18至22岁的年轻人中是常有的事。

我们在这一阶段的任务就是要在同龄人中、在性别上、在预期职业方面以及在意识形态和世界观方面为自己定位。因此，我们积聚动力，开始为最终离家做好身体上和心理上的准备。

甚至我们在希望成为独立的个体的同时，还渴望着融入他人来获得保护和安慰。因此，这个阶段最流行的谎言就是：我们可以通过依附一个较为强大的集体来谋求自己的发展。但是，在这个时期结婚的人在经济和感情方面对家庭和亲人的依赖持续时间会更长，而这种依赖又会阻碍他们走向自给自足。

在试图摆脱家庭的几年里经历一段波折很可能会促进成人生活阶段的正常发展。如果一个人在这时没有经历自我认同危机，它就会在随后的过渡时期爆发，到那时它造成的痛苦会更加令人难以承受。

经受考验的20来岁

我们在经受考验的20来岁面临着这样一个问题：如何在成人世界立足？我们关注的焦点不再是诸如“我是谁”或者“真理是什么”这样的青春期后期内心的骚动，而是集中几乎全部精力去处理客观世界的问题，

比如“怎样才能把理想付诸实践？”“什么是开始做一件事的最好方法”“我要朝哪个方向发展？”“谁能给予我帮助？”“别人是如何成功的？”

与前一阶段相比，这个阶段要更长、更稳定。在这个时期，人们的任务既繁重又令人振奋：要将梦想具体化，因为想象实现梦想的自己可以令我们精力充沛、朝气蓬勃、充满希望；要为毕生的事业做好准备；如果可能的话还要找个导师；要培养与人建立亲密关系而又不会受他人左右而迷失至今建立的自我的能力。人生的第一个试验性规划一定要围绕我们选择尝试的生活去建立。

“做该做的事”是二十几岁的人群中最为流行的主题。至于“该做的事”是什么，在很大程度上由家庭中的榜样、文化上的压力或者同龄人的偏见来界定。

如果流行的文化取向是成家立户，一个小家庭就会产生。如果同龄人坚持认为一个人应该干自己想干的事，25岁左右的年轻人就会整天无牵无挂地驾着自己的哈雷戴维森摩托在66号高速公路上奔驰。

二十几岁的人往往认为自己此时做出的选择会无法改变，这令他们极为恐惧。其实这种恐惧毫无必要。改变是极有可能的，对于原先做出的某些选择做出修正甚至往往是不可避免的。

这个年龄段的人通常会有两个极端。一种人按照设计好的人生规划“定下来”，试图为未来建立一个牢固而安全的框架。但是一旦人们陷入某种现成的模式而又缺乏自省的话，他们很可能会陷入窘境而无法脱身。

另一种人则不断探索实验，每一种人生规划都不会长久坚持，而是变来换去。极端的情况则是，这些人从一份工作很快换到另一份工作，与一个人交往没多久就分手与另外一个人交往，二十几岁的时光一直处于过客匆匆的状态。

虽说二十几岁时的选择不是不可改变的，但它们毕竟是我们生活轨迹的开端。有的人固守自封，有的人变化无常，有的人少年得志，有的人步步为营，还有许多其他的生活方式。不同的生活方式对每个人在每个人生阶段遇到的特定问题都有很大影响。

踌躇满志加上对意志力的笃信使得二十几岁的我们狂妄自大，常常会坚持认为自己选择的道路是生活中唯一正确的。只要有一点迹象表明别人认为我们像父母，认为家长二十几年的教育在我们如今的处事行为和生活态度中有所体现，我们就会极为不满。

“才不是呢，我跟他们可不一样”成了座右铭。

而立之年的困境

奔30的人们已经没有耐心去管“该做的事”，他们内心萌生了一种新的活力。

此时的男男女女都会提到感觉生活圈子狭窄而又受限。他们抱怨各种事物，但是一切局限都是自己二十几岁时的经历和选择造成的。也许那些选择非常适合当时那个阶段，但现在已经不合时宜了。以前曾经忽略的一些因素现在必须认真考虑了。

要做出一些新的重要的选择，并且修正或者深化自己的责任。工作中会有很大的变化、骚动，甚至常常出现危机——那是一种沉入谷底的共鸣和情感爆发的冲动。

一种常见的反应是彻底打破我们二十几岁时花费大量时间、精力构建的生活。这可能意味着重新开辟一条通往崭新梦想的支路，也可能意味着改变原来诸如“竞选总统”之类的梦想而去追求更加现实的目标。单身的人会想找一个伴侣。原来在家带孩子的女人会想到外面的世界一试锋芒。没有孩子的夫妻会重新考虑是不是该要个孩子。几乎所有结婚的人，尤其是有七年之痒的人，都会对生活现状感到不满。

如果这种不满没有导致离婚，那么夫妻双方就会，或者说应该，重新审视自己的婚姻，并设身处地地考虑一下对方在而立之年的种种期望。华尔街一家法律事务所的一位律师今年29岁，他这样总结自己的状况：

“我在考虑离开公司。我在这已经待了四年了，别人对我印象不错，但是我没有属于自己的客户，我感到很无力。如果再过一段时间我就即将面对是否要成为事务所合伙人的抉择了，那就太晚了。我渴望成功，但是想到要在一个地方一直做着一成不变的工作直到55岁退休，这简直让我发疯。现在我都有点要疯了。应该说，85%的时间里我还是很享受这份工作的。但是当我接手那种无厘头的案子时，走出法庭后我都会不禁问自己，“我这是在干什么呢？”我打心眼里觉得自己是在浪费时间。我试图以某种方式为社会做点贡献或者在市政府谋求一个职位。我一直告诫自己“你还有好多事没做呢。”

除了渴望开拓事业，他还希望能够丰富私人生活。他想再要两三个孩子。“家庭这个概念对我来说已变得越来越重要，家是一个可以远离烦恼、放松身心的地方。我以前真的没有想到我会这么爱我的儿子。我真的无法过孤独的生活。”

要做出怎样改变自己生活方向的重大决定这一问题让他绞尽脑汁，他的决定反映了那个年龄段人群的根本性变化：更加关心自己的发展才是真正重要的。

既然个人能力已经得到了证明，自己也就有了新的价值。

他的妻子也正面临着而立之年的各种矛盾。她想读法律学校，而他想要更多的孩子。如果她要待在家里，她希望丈夫也能腾出更多时间在家而不是忙于自己的工作。他对自己与家庭的联系、对妻子的期望是这样的：

“我不想被别人打扰。这听起来很残忍，但是我真的不想操心她下周想干什么。所以我跟她说过好几次了，她应该找点事做。回学校修一修社会学，或者地理学，或者随便哪个学科，拿个学位。希望那样能让她感到满足，我就不用为她的事费心了。我希望她自己的事自己拿主意。”

问题在于，他给妻子的建议是为了方便自己，而不是关心妻子的个人发展。她很快就指出丈夫并不是出于好意：丈夫是在想方设法摆脱她这个累赘。与此同时，他也不希望妻子和他一样“自私”，擅做主张地去开阔视野。双方都发现彼此没有为对方着想，这正是而立之年的夫妇通常会面临的问题。

Key Words:

autonomy      [ɔ:'tɔnəmi]     

n. 自治，自治权，自主

ladder     ['lædə]   

n. 梯子，阶梯，梯状物

n. （袜子）

confidence     ['kɔnfidəns]   

adj. 骗得信任的

n. 信任，信心，把握

replace   [ri(:)'pleis]      

vt. 取代，更换，将物品放回原处

outline    ['əutlain] 

n. 轮廓，大纲

vt. 概述，画出轮廓

separate ['sepəreit]      

n. 分开，抽印本

adj. 分开的，各自的，

mysterious     [mis'tiəriəs]    

adj. 神秘的，不可思议的

motto     ['mɔtəu] 

n. 座右铭，箴言

erosion   [i'rəuʒən]

n. 腐蚀，侵蚀

vigorous ['vigərəs]

adj. 精力充沛的，元气旺盛的，有力的

gather    ['gæðə]  

v. 聚集，聚拢，集合

n. 集合，聚集

peer [piə]

n. 同等的人，同辈，贵族

vi. 凝视，窥视

prolong  [prə'lɔŋ] 

vt. 延长，拖延

transition       [træn'ziʃən]   

n. 过渡，转变

identity   [ai'dentiti]      

n. 身份，一致，特征

erupt      [i'rʌpt]    

v. 爆发

locate     [ləu'keit] 

vt. 把 ... 设置在，使坐落于，找出

v

substitute       ['sʌbstitju:t]   

n. 代替者，代用品

vt. 用 ... 代替

impede   [im'pi:d] 

vt. 妨碍，阻止

ideology [.aidi'ɔlədʒi]   

n. 观念学，空论，意识形态

prevailing      [pri'veiliŋ]      

adj. 盛行很广的，一般的，最普通的

harness  ['hɑ:nis] 

n. 马具，系在身上的绳子，甲胄，安全带

enormous      [i'nɔ:məs]

adj. 巨大的，庞大的

irrevocable     [i'revəkəbl]    

adj. 不能唤回的，不能取消的，不能变更的

stable     ['steibl]   

adj. 稳定的，安定的，可靠的

n. 马厩，

inevitable       [in'evitəbl]     

adj. 不可避免的，必然(发生)的

consistency    [kən'sistənsi]  

n. 坚持，一致性，强度，硬度，浓稠度

settle      ['setl]     

v. 安顿，解决，定居

n. 有背的长凳

route      [ru:t]      

n. 路线，(固定)线路，途径

vt. 为 .

pervasive       [pə:'veisiv]     

adj. 普遍的，蔓延的，渗透的

pattern   ['pætən] 

n. 图案，式样，典范，模式，型

v. 以图案

irrevocable     [i'revəkəbl]    

adj. 不能唤回的，不能取消的，不能变更的

particular       [pə'tikjulə]     

adj. 特殊的，特别的，特定的，挑剔的

trial  ['traiəl]   

adj. 尝试性的; 审讯的

n. 尝试，努力

slip  [slip]      

v. 滑倒，溜走，疏忽，滑脱

n. 滑倒，溜走

transient ['trænʃənt,'trænziənt]   

adj. 短暂的

n. 短期居留者，瞬间的变化

explore   [iks'plɔ:] 

v. 探险，探测，探究

skip [skip]     

v. 跳过，略过，遗漏

n. 跳跃，跳读

urge        [ə:dʒ]     

vt. 驱策，鼓励，力陈，催促

vi. 极力主

vitality     [vai'tæliti]      

n. 活力，生命力

turmoil   ['tə:mɔil] 

n. 骚动，混乱

urge        [ə:dʒ]     

vt. 驱策，鼓励，力陈，催促

vi. 极力主

restricted       [ris'triktid]     

vt. 限制，约束 adj. 受限制的，有限的，保密的

venture   ['ventʃə] 

n. 冒险，风险，投机

v. 尝试，谨慎地做，

altered    ['ɔ:ltəd]   

v. 改变（alter的过去分词） adj. 改变了的；

gist  [dʒist]    

n. 要点，要旨

previously      ['pri:vju:sli]    

adv. 先前，在此之前

realistic   [riə'listik]

adj. 现实的，现实主义的

response [ri'spɔns]

n. 回答，响应，反应，答复

n. [宗

simultaneous [.saiməl'teinjəs]     

adj. 同时发生的，同步的

decision  [di'siʒən]

n. 决定，决策

concept  ['kɔnsept]      

n. 概念，观念

shift [ʃift]

n. 交换，变化，移动，接班者

v. 更替，移

anticipated     [æn'tisipeit]   

adj. 预期的；期望的 v. 预料（anticipat

monotonous  [mə'nɔtənəs]  

adj. 单调的

essential [i'senʃəl] 

n. 要素，要点

adj. 必要的，重要的，本

expand   [iks'pænd]    

v. 增加，详述，扩展，使 ... 膨胀，

social      ['səuʃəl]  

adj. 社会的，社交的

n. 社交聚会

broaden ['brɔ:dn] 

v. 变宽，伸广

critical     ['kritikəl] 

adj. 批评的，决定性的，危险的，挑剔的

independent  [indi'pendənt]

adj. 独立的，自主的，有主见的

n. 独立

goodwill ['gud'wil]

n. 善意，亲切，友好; 商誉，信誉。

broaden ['brɔ:dn] 

v. 变宽，伸广

latitude   ['lætitju:d]     

n. 纬度，界限，自由选择权

dispose   [di'spəuz]      

vt. 倾向于，处置

vi. 销毁

decisive  [di'saisiv]

adj. 决定性的

perceive  [pə'si:v]  

vt. 察觉，感觉，认知，理解

convenience  [kən'vi:njəns] 

n. 适宜，便利，便利设施，方便的时间，舒适

decision  [di'siʒən]

n. 决定，决策

social      ['səuʃəl]  

adj. 社会的，社交的

参考资料：

1. 现代大学英语精读(第2版)第三册:U1B Predictable Crises of Early Adulthood(1)_大学教材听力 - 可可英语
2. 现代大学英语精读(第2版)第三册:U1B Predictable Crises of Early Adulthood(2)_大学教材听力 - 可可英语
3. 现代大学英语精读(第2版)第三册:U1B Predictable Crises of Early Adulthood(3)_大学教材听力 - 可可英语
4. 现代大学英语精读(第2版)第三册:U1B Predictable Crises of Early Adulthood(4)_大学教材听力 - 可可英语
5. 现代大学英语精读(第2版)第三册:U1B Predictable Crises of Early Adulthood(5)_大学教材听力 - 可可英语
6. 现代大学英语精读(第2版)第三册:U1B Predictable Crises of Early Adulthood(6)_大学教材听力 - 可可英语

现代大学英语精读(第2版)第三册:U1B Predictable Crises of Early Adulthood(7)_大学教材听力 - 可可英语