Unit 4 - The Watery Place
It was just an error, a stupid error, the kind anyone could make. Only now Earth is never going to have another visitor from space. Not ever.
The Watery Place
Issac Asimov
We're never going to have visitors from space. No extraterrestrials will ever land on Earth -- at least, any more.
I'm not just being a pessimist. As a matter of fact, extraterrestrials have landed. I know that. Space ships are crisscrossing space among a million worlds, probably, but they will never come here. I know that, too. All on account of a ridiculous error.
I'll explain.
It was actually Bart Cameron's error and you'll have to understand about Bart Cameron. He's the sheriff at Twin Gulch, Idaho, and I'm his deputy. Bart Cameron is an impatient man and he gets most impatient when he has to work up his income tax. You see, besides being sheriff, he also owns and runs the general store, he's got some shares in a sheep ranch, he's got a kind of pension for being a disabled veteran (bad knee) and a few other things like that. Naturally, it makes his tax figures complicated.
It wouldn't be so bad if he'd let a taxman work on the forms with him, but he insists on doing it himself and it makes him a bitter man. By April 14, he isn't approachable.
So it's too bad the flying saucer landed on April 14, 1956.
I saw it land. My chair was backed up against the wall in the sheriff's office, and I was looking at the stars through the windows and wondering if I ought to knock off and hit the sack or keep on listening to Cameron curse real steady as he went over his columns of figures for the hundred twenty-seventh time.
It looked like a shooting star at first, but then the track of light broadened into two things that looked like rocket exhausts and the thing came down without a sound.
Two men got out.
I couldn't say anything or do anything. I couldn't choke or point; I couldn't even bug my eyes. I just sat there.
Cameron? He never looked up.
There was a knock on the door. It opened and the two men from the flying saucer stepped in. I would have thought they were city fellows if I hadn't seen the flying saucer land. They wore gray suits, with white shirts and dark red-brown ties. They had on black shoes and black hats. They had dark complexions, black wavy hair and brown eyes. They had very serious looks on their faces and were about five foot ten apiece. They looked very much alike.
God, I was scared.
But Cameron just looked up when the door opened and frowned. He said, "What can I do for you, folks?" and he tapped his hand on the forms so it was obvious he hadn't much time.
One of the two stepped forward. He said, "We have had your people under observation a long time." He pronounced each word carefully and all by itself.
Cameron said, "My people? All I got's a wife. What's she been doing?"
The fellow in the suit said, "We have chosen this locality for our first contact because it is isolated and peaceful. We know that you are the leader here."
"I'm the sheriff, if that's what you mean, so spit it out. What's your trouble?"
"We have been careful to adopt your mode of dress and even to assume your appearance. We have also learned your language."
You could see the light break in on Cameron. He said, "You guys foreigners?" Cameron didn't go much for foreigners, never having met many outside the army, but generally he tried to be fair.
The man from the saucer said, "Foreigners? Indeed we are. We come from the watery place your people call Venus."
Cameron never blinked an eye. He said, "All right. This is the U.S.A. We all got equal rights regardless of race, color, or nationality. I'm at your service. What can I do for you?"
"We would like to have you make immediate arrangements for the important men of your U.S.A., as you call it, to be brought here for discussions leading to your people joining our great organization."
Slowly, Cameron got red. "Our people join your organization. We're already part of the U.N. and God knows what else. And I suppose I'm to get the President here, eh? Right now? In Twin Gulch? Send a hurry-up message?" He looked at me, as though he wanted to see a smile on my face, but I couldn't as much as fall down if someone had pushed the chair out from under me.
The saucer man said, "Speed is desirable."
"You want Congress, too? The Supreme Court?"
"If they will help, sheriff."
And Cameron really went to pieces. He banged his income tax form and yelled, "Well, you're not helping me, and I have no time for wise guys who come around, especially foreigners. If you don't get the hell out of here straight away, I'll lock you up for disturbing the peace and I'll never let you out."
"You wish us to leave?" said the man from Venus.
"Right now! Get the hell out of here and back to wherever you're from and don't ever come back. I don't want to see you and no one else around here does."
The two men looked at each other.
Then the one who had done all the talking said, "I can see in your mind that you really wish, with great intensity, to be left alone. It is not our way to force ourselves or our organization on people who do not wish us or it. We will respect your privacy and leave. We will not return. We will put a warning around your world and none will enter."
Cameron said, "Mister, I'm tired of this garbage, so I'll count to three -- "
They turned and left, and I just knew that everything they said was so. I was listening to them, you see, which Cameron wasn't, because he was busy thinking of his income tax, and it was as though I could hear their minds, know what I mean? I knew that there would be a kind of fence around earth, keeping others out.
And when they left, I got my voice back -- too late. I screamed, "Cameron, for God's sake, they're from space. Why'd you send them away?"
"From space!" He stared at me.
I yelled, "Look!" I don't know how I did it, he being twenty-five pounds heavier than I, but I heaved him to the window by his shirt collar.
He was too surprised to resist and when he recovered his wits enough to make like he was going to knock me down, he caught sight of what was going on outside the window and the breath went out of him.
They were getting into the flying saucer, those two men, and the saucer sat there, large, round, shiny and kind of powerful, you know. Then it took off. It went up easy as a feather and a red-orange glow showed up on one side and got brighter as the ship got smaller till it was a shooting star again, slowly fading out.
And I said, "Sheriff, why'd you send them away? They had to see the President. Now they'll never come back."
Cameron said, "I thought they were foreigners. They said they had to learn our language. And they talked funny."
"Oh, fine. Foreigners."
"They said they were foreigners and they looked Italian. I thought they were Italian."
"How could they be Italian? They said they were from the planet Venus. I heard them. They said so."
"The planet Venus." His eyes got real round.
"They said it. They called it the watery place or something. You know Venus has a lot of water on it."
But you see, it was just an error, a stupid error, the kind anyone could make. Only now Earth is never going to have another Venusian visit us. That dope, Cameron, and his income tax!
Because he whispered, "Venus! When they talked about the watery place, I thought they meant Venice!"
参考译文——水乡
这仅仅是一个错误，一个愚蠢的错误，那种人人都可能犯的错误。只是从今往后再也不会有太空客前来访问地球了。再也不会了。
水乡
伊萨克·阿西莫夫
我们不会再有太空游客前来了。外星人将不会登陆地球——至少是再也不会了。
我这不是悲观。事实上，外星人登陆过地球。这个我知道。在宇宙的千百万颗星球当中穿梭往来的太空飞船可能有许多，可它们永远不会再来我们这儿了。这我也知道。而这一切都是由于一个荒唐的错误导致的。
且听我解释。
这实际上是巴特·卡默伦的错，所以你得对巴特·卡默伦这人有所了解。他是爱达荷州特温加尔奇的治安官，我是他的副手。巴特·卡默伦是个脾气暴躁的人，到了他不得不整理个人应缴多少所得税时更是容易光火。你想，他除了当治安官，还经营着一家杂货铺，并拥有一家牧羊场的股份，同时还享有残疾退伍军人（膝盖受过伤）津贴，以及其他某些类似的津贴。这样一来他的个人所得税计算起来自然就变得复杂。
要是他让税务人员帮他填表就不至于那么糟糕，可他非得要自己填，于是填得他牢骚满腹。每年到了4月14日，他就变得难以接近。
那个飞碟在1956年4月14日这一天登陆真是大错特错。
我是看着它降落的。当时我的椅子背靠着治安官办公室的墙，我正望着窗外的星星，琢磨着是不是该下班去睡觉，还是继续听卡默伦骂个不停，他正在第127次核对他在税单上填写的一栏栏数字。
一开始像是颗流星，可接着那轨迹越来越亮，变成两个光点，就像是火箭喷出的气流，那个东西一点没出声就着落了。
两个人走了出来。
我没法说话，也无法做事。喉部肌肉僵直，也没法用手示意，甚至眼睛都没法瞪大。我就那么呆坐着。
卡默伦？他压根儿就没抬起过头。
有敲门声。门开了，飞碟上的那两个人走了进来。要不是我看着飞碟降落，我还会以为他们就是镇上的人。两人身着灰套装、白衬衣，戴着深红棕色的领带。他们穿着黑皮鞋，戴着黑帽子，肤色黑黑的，卷曲的头发黑黑的，眼睛呈棕色。两人神情严肃，身高都在5英尺10英寸左右，看上去非常相象。
天哪，我害怕极了。
可卡默伦只是在门开的那会儿略一抬头，皱了皱眉头。“有什么事吗，伙计？”他边说边用手拍着税单，显然正忙着呢。
那两人中的一个走上前说道：“我们对你们的人已经观察很久了。”他说话时小心翼翼一字一顿的。
卡默伦说：“我们的人？我只有老婆一个人。她干什么来着？”
穿西装的那人说：“我们选择此地作为第一接触点，因为这里偏僻安静。我们知道您是这里的首领。”
“我是治安官，这是你要说的吧，有什么话就直说, 你们遇到什么麻烦了？”
“我们非常谨慎，沿用了你们的衣着模式，甚至采用了你们的外貌。我们还学习了你们的语言。”
你可以看到卡默伦脸上开始现出领悟的神情。他说：“你俩是外国人？”卡默伦不怎么喜欢外国人，退伍后就没怎么见过外国人，不过总的来说他尽力做到为人公正。
飞碟来人说：“外国人？正是如此。我们来自你们称之为金星的水乡。”
卡默伦连眼也没眨一下便说：“好吧。这里是美国。我们这儿不论种族、肤色、国籍，一律平等。我为你们效劳。你们有何贵干？”
“我们希望您马上与贵国，即你们所说的美国的要人联系，前来此地商讨加入我们组织的事宜。”
卡默伦的脸色渐渐涨红。“我们加入你们的组织。我们已经是联合国的成员了，天知道还有别的什么。我想是让我把总统找来，呃？就现在？前来特温加尔奇？要我送去一封加快信？”他看了看我，似乎想在我脸上看到一丝笑意，可此刻若有人从我身后把椅子抽开，我也不会摔倒在地。
飞碟来人说：“事不宜迟。”
“你们想不想要国会也来？还有最高法院？”
“那也无妨，治安官。”
这下卡默伦真的气坏了。他把税单向桌上重重地一摔，叫道：“好啊，你们跟我添乱，我可没时间跟你们这些自作聪明的人纠缠，尤其是外国人。要是你们不马上从这里滚出去，我就以扰乱治安罪把你们关起来，永远不放你们出来。”
“您是要我们离开？”金星人问。
“这就走！滚出去，滚回你们老家去，别再回来。我不想见到你们，这儿谁都不想见到你们。”
那两人对望了一眼。
一直作为发言人的那人于是说：“看得出您确实极其不愿受到打搅。我们从不愿将我们自己或我们组织的意见强加于无意接受者。我们尊重您的私人自由，马上离开。我们将不再返回。我们会在你们地球周围发布警告，不再会有人前来。”
卡默伦说：“先生，够了，别再胡说八道了，我要开始数3——”
那两人转身离去，我当然知道他们说的句句是实话。你知道，我一直在听他们说，卡默伦可没有，他一心只想着他的税单，而且我似乎知道了他们脑子里在想什么，你明白我的意思吗？我知道地球周围会竖起一道屏障，使他人无法进入。
他们走了之后，我才能又开口说话――已经太迟了。我高声叫起来：“天哪，卡默伦，他们是从太空来的。你为什么要赶他们走？”
“从太空来的！”他两眼瞪着我。
我大喝一声：“你看！”我到现在都不明白是怎么一回事，他比我重了25英磅，可我竟然扯着他的衣领把他拽到了窗前。
他震惊之下都没有反抗，等他回过神来想要把我击倒时，正好看见窗外的情景，顿时气都喘不出来了。
他们正在进入飞碟，就是那两人，飞碟就在那儿，知道吗，大大的， 圆圆的，亮晶晶的，挺有气势的。接着飞碟起飞了。它轻轻巧巧地上升，像根羽毛似的，一侧发出一道桔红色的光芒，那光越来越强烈，飞碟变得越来越小，最后重新变成一颗流星渐渐消失。
我说：“治安官，你什么要赶他们走？他们要见总统。这下他们再也不会回来了。”
卡默伦说：“我当他们是外国人。他们说的，要学我们的语言。而且他们说的话莫名其妙。”
“哼，得了，还外国人呢。”
“他们说自己是外国人，两人看上去像是意大利人。我以为他们是意大利人。”
“他们怎么会是意大利人呢？他们说他们是从金星来的。我听见的。他们是这么说的。”
“金星。”他的眼睛瞪得越发圆了。
“他们是这么说的。他们把它叫做水乡什么的。要知道，金星上多的是水。”
所以你瞧，这仅仅是个错误，一个愚蠢的错误，那种人人都可能犯的错误。只是从今往后地球上再也不会有任何金星人来访了。卡默伦这个笨蛋，还有他那该死的税单！
只听他嘀咕道：“金星！他们说水乡的时候，我还以为他们指的是威尼斯呢！”
Language Sense Enhancement
1、Read aloud paragraphs 4-11 and learn them by heart.
2、Read aloud the following poem.
An Excerpt from Queen Mab
Percy Bysshe Shelley
Heaven's ebon vault,
Studded with stars unutterably bright,
through which the moon's unclouded
Grandeur rolls,
Seems like a canopy which love has spread
To curtain her sleeping world.
《麦布女王》节选
——雪莱
苍穹浩瀚，
星辰闪耀。
明月将光芒洒满天际，
宛若她就寝前落下的帷幔，
恰似给世人搭成了一个充满爱的天蓬。
（注：实在找不到翻译，博主只能自己动手了。第一次翻译雪莱的诗，如有不足，欢迎大家切磋指正。）
3、Read the following quotations. Learn them by heart if you can. You might need to look up new words in a dictionary.
Now ,my own suspicion is that the universe is not only queerer than we suppose, but queerer than we can suppose.
--J.B.S. Halddane
我隐约觉得，宇宙之奇异不仅超过我们所想象的，更超过我们所能想象的。——J.B.S.霍尔丹
The universe begins to look more like a great thought and a great machine.
--James Jeans
The universe is not hostile, nor yet is it friendly. It is simply indifferent.
--John H. Holmes
That's one small step for a man, and one giant leap for mankind.
(A comment on being the first person to set foot on the moon)
--Nell Armstronq
4、Read the following humorous dialog for fun. you might need to look up new words in a dictionary.
Q: What is an astronaut's favorite meal?
A: Launch!
Q: What did the astronaut cook for lunch?
A: An unidentified frying object!
Q: How did the astronaut serve dinner in outer space?
A: On flying saucers!
Q: What's the best way to talk to a Martian?
A: Long distance!
Q: Why do Martians have 2 antennas on their head?
A: So they can receive in stereo.
Q: What's the most popular snack on Mars?
A: Marsmallows.
Q: Why do you see no Martian tourists at the Grand Canyon?
A: Hey, it just looks like home.
Q: Why are tomatoes not popular on Mars?
A: Because nobody told them to wait until they turn red...
Q: What kind of bulbs should you plant on the moon?
A: Light bulbs!
Q: What kinds of songs do planets like to sing?
A: Nep-tunes!
Q: What kind of poem can you find in outer space?
A: Uni-verse!
参考资料：
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