Christmas time

Christmas time is here, by Golly;       Kill the turkeys, ducks and chickens;
Disapproval would be folly;                  Mix the punch, drag out the Dickens;
Deck the halls with hunks of holly;     Even though the prospect sickens,
Fill the cup and don't say when...        Brother, here we go again.

On Christmas day, you can't get sore;    Relations sparing no expense'll,
Your fellow man you must adore;            Send some useless old utensil,
There's time to rob him all the more,      Or a matching pen and pencil,
The other three hundred and sixty-four!  Just the thing I need... how nice.

It doesn't matter how sincere           Hark The Herald-Tribune sings,
It is, nor how heartfelt the spirit;       Advertising wondrous things.
Sentiment will not endear it;             God Rest Ye Merry Merchants,
What's important is... the price.       May you make the Yuletide pay.
                                                                 Angels We Have Heard On High,

Let the raucous sleighbells jingle;     Tell us to go out and buy.
Hail our dear old friend, Kris Kringle, Sooooo...
Driving his reindeer across the sky,
Don't stand underneath when they fly by!
                -- Tom Lehrer