English Small Talk Topics: What is ok and what is not?

"Everybody complains about the weather, but nobody ever does anything about it," so goes an old saying. Perhaps the safest of all small talk topics is the weather. Whether good or bad, a comment about the temperature or sky condition (sunny day, cloudy day, rainy day, etc. ) never offends. Commenting on the crowded traffic or the late bus, or high prices in the department store (immediate conditions) is also always appropriate. Similarly, most people do not mind talking about their work, family, or school life, either, since for most people these are experiences held in common. Even so, asking whether someone is married or not crosses over into personal information and therefore should be avoided. If the speaker happens to mention that he or she has children or is married, however, it is all right to pursue the topic.

Asking such questions as "How much do you weigh? How old are you?" or "How much do you earn?" are taboo in English, at least as starters for conversation. Only when friends are close would they ask such questions of each other. Likewise, for most people, religious or political convictions or exual mores are considered private matters. These should not be discussed until one speaker offers his opinion first. It is not necessary, though, to respond in kind. The other speaker can change the subject to show that this is a taboo subject.

Foreigners are usually "forgiven" the "indiscretion" of asking others offending questions. Still, it is not a good idea to wear out one's welcome. When a subject has been turned down, only a tactless person would pursue it. Being sensitive to others' feelings and sense of privacy will win more friends and influence more people than a reckless line of questioning. When curiosity seems to be getting the upper hand, remember that "Silence is golden."

 

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