杜三学翻译
我们是为和平而来 让猫和老鼠和睦共处吧！
We come in peace for cats and mice everywhere.
嘿，你好吗？见到你们真高兴！ （支持依奇竞选总统）
Hey, how you doing? Good to see you. Thanks for coming out.
依奇，依奇…
Itchy,,,, Itchy,,,,
无聊！
Boring!
爸，我们没法看电影了
Dad, we can't see the movie.
难以置信！我们居然花钱来看这种东西 这些明明能从电视上免费看
I can't beIieve we're paying to see something we get on TV for free.
要我说的话 这电影院里的人都是超级大衰人
If you ask me, everybody in this theater is a giant sucker.
特别是…
EspeciaIIy you.
你！
EspeciaIIy you.
《辛普森大电影》
大屏幕上的电影！
Movie on the big screen!
对不起，我屁股快滑下去了
Excuse me. My heinie is dipping.
多谢各位前来捧场
AII right, weII, thanks a Iot for coming.
我们已经表演了三个半小时
We've been pIaying for three and a haIf hours.
现在，我们只想占用大家几分钟宝贵时间 来谈谈环境问题！
Now we'd Iike just a minute of your time to say something about the environment.
- 真讨厌！ - 闭嘴，继续演出！
-You suck! -Shut up and pIay!
- 话唠！ - 我们才不话唠呢！
-Preachy! -We're not being preachy.
…但这儿湖里的污染物 正在吞噬我们的游艇！
But the poIIution in your Iake, it's dissoIving our barge.
我觉得他们谈及的问题至关重要
I thought they touched on a vitaI issue.
我可不这么想
I beg to differ.
先生们，今晚能和你们同台演出 真是三生有幸
GentIemen, it's been an honor pIaying with you tonight.
悼念新近在这里死去的摇滚乐队
For the Iatest rock band to die in our town. . .
…主啊，请聆听我们虔诚的祈祷
. . .Lord, hear our prayer.
主啊，聆听我们的祈祷
Lord, hear our prayer.
我讨厌迟到！
I hate being Iate.
我还讨厌来这里呢！
WeII, I hate going.
为什么不能以我自己的方式向主祈祷呢？
Why can't I worship the Lord in my own way. . .
临死之时我一定会不停的祈祷祈祷！
. . .by praying Iike heII on my deathbed?
荷马，里面的人能听到你的！
Homer, they can hear you inside.
别担心，里面那帮人正忙着应付 他们鬼话连篇的假主子呢！
ReIax. Those pious morons are too busy taIking to their phony-baIoney God.
你好吗？祝你安康！婴孩狂欢
How you doing? Peace be with you. Praise Jebus.
今天我的宣讲形式与以往不同
Today I'd Iike to try something a IittIe different.
我会请…你们当中的一个
I'm going to caII on one of you!
主的意志与你们同在
Now, the word of God dweIIs within everyone.
现在我希望你们能大声宣读出来 让你们的灵魂…
I want you to Iet that word out. Let your spirit--
什么事？奈德？
What is it, Ned?
主要求我忏悔…
The good Lord is teIIing me to confess to something.
同性恋，同性恋…
Gay, gay, gay.
…我们社区最不庄重的尊严
An immodest sense of pride in our community.
还有别人想发言吗？
Somebody eIse?
让主的光芒照耀于你
Let the Lord's Iight shine upon you.
感受圣灵
FeeI the spirit.
大声说出来吧！
Let it out!
恐怖！可怕的灾难就要降临！
HorribIe, horribIe things are going to happen!
会发生在你、你、你…还有你身上！
And they're gonna happen to you! And you! And you! And you.
哇，耐莉！
Whoa, neIIy!
斯普林菲尔德的居民们 仔细听好下面的警告
PeopIe of SpringfieId, heed this warning:
扭曲的尾巴
Twisted taiI!
一千只眼睛
A thousand eyes!
被困终生
Trapped forever!
爸，快想想办法
Dad, do something!
《圣经》上根本没写该怎么办？
This book doesn't have any answers!
当心！当心！迫在眉睫！
Beware! Beware! Time is short!
相信我！一定要相信我啊！
BeIieve me! BeIieve me!
多谢聆听！
Thanks for Iistening.
好啦，谁想吃蛋奶饼？
Okay, who wants waffIes?
我要，我要，我要！
I do, I do, I do!
等一下，爷爷刚才的事儿怎么办？
Wait a minute. What about Grampa?
- 我要糖浆的 - 我要草莓的
-I want syrup! -I want strawberries!
爷爷他出事了！
Something happened to that man.
我来告诉你是怎么回事吧 刚才我目睹了"老年一刻"
I'II teII you what happened to him. A certain someone had a senior moment.
不过没事的，因为我们都爱他 发发癫还能多条免费的毯子
But that's okay, because we Iove him and we got a free rug out of it.
如果我们连周围的亲人…
What is the point of going to church every Sunday. . .
亲身经历的宗教体验都视而不见 那周日上教堂礼拜意义何在呢？
. . .when if someone we Iove has a genuine reIigious experience, we ignore it?
对吗，爷爷？
Right, Grampa?
我要香蕉味的蛋奶饼
I want bananas on my waffIes.
没什么好说的了
I rest my case.
这事我不会善罢甘休的
I'm not dropping this.
等一下，我还在车上呢！
Wait a minute. I'm stiII in the car.
哦，没错
Oh, right.
把大黄蜂窝移走
''Take out hornets' nest. ''
办好啦，大漏坑
Check. ''Fix sinkhoIe. ''
办好啦
Check.
重新盖房顶？！
''Re-shingIe roof''?
别动
Steady.
别动
Steady.
你笑什么，你这个小…！
Why, you IittIe--!
我来好好教你该怎么笑？
I'II teach you to Iaugh at something that's funny!
我们现在在房顶上… 我们可以找点乐子的
You know, we are on the roof. We couId have some fun.
哪种乐子？
What kind of fun?
"勇敢比赛"怎么样？
How about a dare contest?
那好啊，我说你敢…
That sounds fun. I dare you to. . .
…爬到电视天线上去！
. . .cIimb the TV antenna!
- 小菜一碟～ - 地震啦！
-Piece of cake. -Earthquake!
余震！
Aftershock!
荷马，别说我大惊小怪…
Homer, I don't mean to be a Nervous Pervis. . .
但要是他不小心掉下来，下肢瘫痪怎么办？
. . .but if he faIIs, couIdn't that make your boy a parapIege-arino?
闭嘴吧，佛兰德斯
Shut up, FIanders.
- 对，闭上嘴，佛兰德斯 - 说得好，小子！
-Yeah, shut up, FIanders. -WeII said, boy.
别动，别动
Steady. Steady.
待好别动…
Steady. . . .
您好，抱歉周日还打扰您
HeIIo. Sorry to bother you on a Sunday. . .
但是我想您一定和我一样 忧虑斯普林菲尔德湖水污染问题
. . .but I'm sure you're as worried about the poIIution in Lake SpringfieId as I am.
斯普林菲尔德湖水汞含量高于以往…
Lake SpringfieId has higher IeveIs of mercury than ev--
原来是救我家猫猫的小姑娘
Why, it's the IittIe girI who saved my cat.
斯普林菲尔德湖水…
Lake SpringfieId is--
来吧，丽莎
Come on over, Lisa.
和我聊多久都成
You can canvass me as Iong as you want.
维尔豪斯，你才不在乎环境呢！
MiIhouse, you don't care about the environment.
嘿！我对地球家园无比热爱！
Hey. I am very passionate about the pIanet.
说"全球变暖"纯属扯淡！
Say gIobaI warming is a myth.
是扯淡！还需要经一步研究调查！
It's a myth! Further study is needed!
轻易放弃信仰，这拳是赏给你的！
That's for seIIing out your beIiefs.
哦，可怜的维尔豪斯
Oh, poor MiIhouse.
终于美梦成真了
Dream coming true.
您知道漏泄燃料…
Are you aware that a Ieaky faucet can waste over--?
一年损耗2000加仑？
Two thousand gaIIons a year.
- 随手关灯所节省的能源… - 足够供给整个匹兹堡
-Turning off Iights can save-- -Enough energy to power Pittsburgh.
如果冬季我们能将温控计设置在16度…
And if we kept our thermostats at 68 in winter--
仅需17年，我们即可不受海外石油的影响
We'd be free from our dependency on foreign oiI in 1 7 years.
我叫科林
I'm CoIin.
我从没在学校见过你
I haven't seen you at schooI.
我们刚从爱尔兰搬来，我爸爸是音乐家
Moved from IreIand. My dad's a musician.
- 他难道是… - 他不是Bono（爱尔兰U2乐队主音）
-Is he. . .? -He's not Bono.
- 我只是在想，你是爱尔兰人，又… - 他不是Bono！
-I just thought, because you're Irish and-- -He's not Bono.
你也弹奏乐器吗？
Do you pIay?
只会钢琴、吉他、小号、鼓和低音提琴
Just piano, guitar, trumpet, drums and bass.
他就是我的神啊！ 这次你可一定要矜持住
He's pure gold, For once in your life, be cool,
你的芳名是不是如你容貌般赏心悦目？
So is your name as pretty as your face?
你还好吗？
You okay there?
扭曲的尾巴、一千只眼睛，被困终生
Twisted tail! A thousand eyes! Trapped forever!
那是什么意思？
What couId that be?
我觉得是绿灯侠被塞尼斯托
I beIieve it's the sound the Green Lantern made. . .
扔到酸缸后发出的尖叫声
. . .when Sinestro threw him into a vat of acid.
多谢来访
Yeah. Thanks for coming over.
多谢你的孕妇裤咯
Thanks for giving me your pregnancy pants.
真不知道有这么舒服呢
Never known comfort Iike this.
为什么我要…
Why did I suggest this?
好啦，小子，现在该"终极勇敢比赛"了
AII right, boy, time for the uItimate dare.
我说你敢踩滑板往返"克里斯蒂汉堡"
I dare you to skateboard to Krusty Burger and back. . .
不穿衣服哦
. . .naked.
- 怎么个不穿法？ - 一丝不挂呀
-How naked? -Fourth base.
那女孩子会看到我的小JJ
GirIs might see my doodIe.
哦，我明白了 那我宣布以后就管你叫胆小鬼了
Oh, I see. Then I hereby decIare you chicken for Iife.
每天早上我都会对你说 "早上好啊，胆小鬼"
Every morning, you'II wake up to ''Good morning, chicken. ''
你结婚那天，我会高歌…
At your wedding, I'II sing:
我现在喜欢男人啦！
I Iike men now.
别看我正指着的地方！
Don't Iook where I'm pointing!
以美国专制的名义，快给我站住！
Stop in the name of American squeamishness!
孩子们，在我们尽情用餐之前 别忘了感谢上帝赐予我们丰盛的
Boys, before we eat, don't forget to thank the Lord for this bountifuI--
小JJ？！
Penis?!
- 丰盛的小JJ - 丰盛的小JJ
-BountifuI penis. -BountifuI penis.
阿门
Amen.
听着，孩子，没人喜欢身上裹着衣服 不过法律就是这么规定的
Listen, kid, nobody Iikes wearing cIothes in pubIic, but, you know, it's the Iaw.
吃午饭咯!
Lunchtime!
你们不能就把我扔在这儿
You can't just Ieave me out here.
别担心，我们找了个小朋友陪你玩
Don't worry, we found a friend for you to pIay with.
纳尔逊，亲爱的，你上哪儿去了？
NeIson, honey, where have you been?
- 爸！ - 出什么事了，警官？
-Dad! -What seems to be the probIem, officers?
快告诉他们是"勇敢比赛"
TeII him you dared me to do it.
果真如此的话 绑在这儿的应该是你，而不是你儿子
If that's true, then you shouId be taking the rap here, not your son.
如果事出于我，你们要如何处置？
And what happens to me if it's my fauIt?
一小时的"养育子女"课程
You'II have to attend a one-hour parenting cIass.
都是他的主意！他做得太过分了！
It was aII his idea! He's out of controI, I teII you!
我根本管不了他！
I'm at my wits' end.
真是太…
It's so. . . .
法庭见，孩子
See you in court, kid.
好了，儿子，咱们去吃午饭
Okay, son, Iet's get some Iunch.
你有没有带我的衣服？
Did you at Ieast bring my cIothes?
衬衫、袜子，全带来了
Shirt, socks, everything you need.
- 你忘了带我的裤子！ - 你以为我是汤米·巴哈马吗？
-You didn't bring my pants. -Who am I, Tommy Bahama?
今天是我这辈子最倒霉的一天！
This is the worst day of my Iife.
是"目前为止"最倒霉的一天
The worst day of your Iife so far.
- 嘿，巴特 - 你想怎么着，佛兰德斯？
-Say, Bart? -What do you want, FIanders?
要是你需要裤子，我这儿有条备用的
If you need pants, I carry an extra pair.
因为男孩子总是淘气嘛
You know how boys are, aIways praying through the knees.
为什么要帮我？我和你无亲无故
Why are you heIping me? I'm not your kid.
我们是邻居啊，要是我家孩子碰上这事 你爸一定也会伸手相助的
We're neighbors. I'm sure your father wouId do the same for my boys.
谢谢啦
Thank you.
- 嘿，你这是怎么了？ - 你真想知道？
-Hey, what's with you? -You reaIIy wanna know?
当然咯
Of course I do.
什么样的老爸会不关心…？
What kind of a father wouIdn't care about--?
…戴帽子的猪！
A pig wearing a hat!
开拍
Action.
嘿，嘿，是我，你们的老朋友克里斯蒂 这次向大家推荐新款猪肉汉堡"克拉克"
Hey, hey! It's your oId paI Krusty, for my new pork sandwich, the KIogger.
除非在墨西哥，否则你不可能 找到比这更高脂流油的汉堡啦
If you can find a greasier sandwich, you're in Mexico!
好啦
And we're cIear.
太好了！伙计，把这头猪宰了吧
Perfect. Cut, print, kiII the pig.
什么？！ 你…它衣冠楚楚，你怎么忍心下手？
What--?! You can't kiII him if he's wearing peopIe cIothes!
我会带你回家的
You're coming home with me.
一千只眼睛？什么意思？
''A thousand eyes. '' What couId that be?
嗯…我很确定…一千…是个数字
I'm pretty sure a thousand is a number.
嗨，玛芝，嫁给性情中人是不是很幸福？
Hey, Marge. Isn't it great being married to someone who's reckIessIy impuIsive?
说实话，我一直为这事懊悔不已呢
ActuaIIy, it's aged me horribIy.
快和我们的新成员打个招呼吧！
Then say heIIo to the newest Simpson.
荷马！
Homer!
我相信教堂里发生的就是警告眼前这事
I beIieve what happened in church was a warning about preciseIy this.
快把这只猪弄走！
PIease, get rid of that pig.
你会喜欢上它的！ 瞧，它还会模仿你呢！
Oh, you're gonna Iove him. Look, he does an impression of you.
你吓着她了
You naiIed her.
它还会取笑我呢
He aIso does me.
你笑了，那现在就没事啦
You smiIed. I'm off the hook.
你造型真是千变万化啊
Oh, you have so many Iooks.
原来这才叫做温馨啊
So that's what snug is.
谁是好猪猪？
Who's a good pig?
谁是好猪猪？
Who's a good pig?
心情不爽是吗，孩子？
Rough day, huh, son?
你根本不知道什么是"不爽"，嬷嬷
You don't know what rough is, sister.
巴特，我家孩子不开心时
Bart, you know, whenever my boys bake up a batch of frownies. . .
…我就带他们去钓鱼散心
. . .I take them fishing.
你爸爸有带你去钓过鱼吗？
Does your dad ever take you fishing?
爸！拿灭虫器来逮鱼可不太厚道！
Dad, it's not fair to use a bug zapper to catch the fish.
如果你和我一样对这些鱼充满关爱之情 就会希望它们带着尊严，庄重的赴黄泉
If you Iove fish Iike I do, you want them to die with dignity.
有鱼咬钩啦
I think I have a nibbIe.
和你一起钓鱼应该更有趣吧？
I think fishing might be more fun with you.
太好了，我帮你冲杯可可吧？
Oh, great. Now, how about I fix you some cocoa?
少来啦，可可是女孩子喝的
No way. Cocoa's for wusses.
要是你改主意的话…就到窗台这儿来拿啊
WeII, sir, if you change your mind, it's on the windowsiII.
哦，天啊！
Oh, my God.
等一下，最精彩的地方忘和你说了 他关注环境问题
Oh, wait. I didn't teII you the best part. He Ioves the environment.
不对，那不是最精彩的地方 他有着爱尔兰人特有的神情
Oh, wait! I stiII didn't teII you the best part. He's got an Irish brogue.
不，等一下！那还不是最棒的地方
No, no, wait! I stiII didn't teII you the best part.
他是活生生、真实存在的！
He's not imaginary!
亲爱的，这太好了
Oh, honey, that's great.
不过最重要的是，他愿意聆听你的心声
But the very best thing is that he Iistens to you.
因为对男人来说，这点是最…
Because nothing means more than for a man to--
猪蹄子印怎么跑到天花板上了？
How did the pig tracks get on the ceiIing?
蜘蛛猪，蜘蛛猪
Spider-Pig, Spider-Pig
施展浑身解数，尽显蜘蛛猪神威
Does whatever a Spider-Pig does
它能游走于蜘蛛网吗？
Can he swing from a web?
当然不行，它归根结底还是猪呀
No, he can 't, he's a pig
当心啊，它是蜘蛛猪
Look out He is the Spider-Pig
玩够了吗？
Are we having fun yet?
现在很好玩啊，你那有鱼咬钩了
We are now. You've got a bite.
哇，我的妈呀！
Whoa, mama!
不！我的宝贝鱼竿！
Oh, no, my good poIe!
你怎么没掐我？
You're not strangIing me.
什么？"掐"只有…
What the--? StrangIing's onIy good for. . . .
"掐"可解决不了任何问题
WeII, it's not good for anything.
与孩子唯一能有的身体接触就是…
The onIy time you shouId Iay hands on a boy. . .
…轻拍他后背
. . .is to give him a good pat on the back.
嘿！你到底要…？
Hey, what the heII are you--?
再拍一次
One more time.
（紧张性排汗）
亲爱的，我回来啦～
Honey, I'm home.
我们现在处于大规模污染一触即发的引爆点
We are at the tipping point, peopIe.
如果我们仍置若罔闻的话 （斯普林菲尔德湖污染情况）
If we don't do something now. . . .
抱歉，我思维有些混乱… 他是不是令人芳心寸乱？
I'm sorry, I Iost my train of thought. Isn't he dreamy?
完全赞同
Agreed.
好吧，这是底线
Okay, so here's the bottom Iine:
如果我们不马上付诸行动的话…
If we don't change our ways right now. . .
斯普林菲尔德湖的污染将达到这种程度！
. . .poIIution in Lake SpringfieId wiII be at this IeveI.
并不太糟啊
That's not so bad.
不，升降机卡住了…
No, the Iift is stuck.
大家明白我的意思吗？
Am I getting through to anyone?
明白！我们需要一台新升降机！
HeII, yeah. We need a new one of those things.
赞同购买新升降机的请说"赞成"
AII in favor of a new scissor Iift, say ''aye. ''
- 赞成 - 不！
-Aye. -No!
这湖水离彻底变成剧毒之湖仅仅一步之遥
This Iake is just one piece of trash away from a toxic nightmare.
但是我知道我说的你们只会充耳不闻
But I knew you wouIdn't Iisten.
所以我擅做主张 把你们喝的水都换成了湖水
So I took the Iiberty of pouring water from the Iake in aII your drinking gIasses.
所以说不能给孩子好脸色看！
This is why we shouId hate kids.
这事事关重大
This is serious, peopIe.
今后禁止向湖中倾倒废物 我现在宣布进入紧急状态
No more dumping in the Iake. I hereby decIare a state of emergency.
黑色紧急状态！
Code bIack.
黑色？这可是最糟糕的颜色！
BIack? That's the worst coIor there is.
- 不是说你，卡尔 - 算了，这种事我都习惯了
-No offense there, CarI. -I get it aII the time.
对不起，湖里禁止丢弃废物
Sorry, sorry. No dumping in the Iake.
好吧，那我就把后院清理的垃圾扔到车里去
Fine. I wiII put my yard trimmings in a car compactor.
警长，我觉得那好像是具尸体
Chief, I think there was a dead body in there.
我也是这么想的，泰利说了是后院废物
I thought that too, untiI he said ''yard trimmings. ''
卢，你得会听才行
You gotta Iearn to Iisten, Lou.
现在来看看这屏障是不是 对傻子也百毒不侵
Let us now make sure this barrier is compIeteIy idiot-proof.
- 克里特斯？ - 有何吩咐？
-CIetus. -Yessum?
往湖里扔点东西进去
Try to dump something in the Iake.
好的
Okay.
不行啊，扔不了啊！
I can't. I simpIy can't.
- 太好了 - 真有效啊
-BriIIiant. -Very effective.
千万别瞎想
Don't get any ideas.
也许我们应该亲一下 以缓解我们之间的紧张关系
Maybe we shouId kiss, just to break the tension.
这儿是怎么了？
What's going on here?
没什么，没什么
Nothing. Nothing.
我觉得猪不应该进屋的
I'm not sure that pig shouId be in the house.
另外，你打算怎么处理…它的排泄物？
And by the way, what are you doing with his Ieavings?
别担心，这事尽在掌握之中
Don't worry. I've devised a most eIegant soIution.
这玩意儿漏了
It's Ieaking.
不是漏，是溢出来了
It's not Ieaking, it's overfIowing.
才两天它就拉了这一大罐子？！
He fiIIed up the whoIe siIo in just two days?
也有我拉的
WeII, I heIped.
荷马，等等！停下 我知道你容易三心二意
Homer, stop! Stop. I know it's easy for your mind to wander. . .
…你一定要好好听我说
. . .but I want you to reaIIy concentrate on me.
我一直觉得这就是 爷爷试图警告我们的灾难
I can't escape the feeIing that this is the crisis Grampa warned us about.
你一定得把这罐废物处理好
You have to dispose of that waste properIy.
好的，玛芝，我会的
Okay, Marge. I wiII.
你可以带上蜘蛛猪一起！
You can take Spider-Pig with you.
它不叫蜘蛛猪了，现在叫哈里·波洛特
He's not Spider-Pig anymore, he's Harry PIopper.
喂
HeIIo.
荷马，快过来
Homer, you gotta get over here.
卫生部门关掉了甜甜圈店 现在正免费发放呢！
HeaIth inspector shut down the doughnut store, they're giving out free doughnuts!
哦，天啊！天啊！ 把手头这件事办完我就过去
Oh, my God, oh, my God! I just got one thing I gotta do first.
那你可得快点啊，估计一会儿就没了
WeII, you better hurry. They're going fast.
哇～好险啊
Whoa, that was cIose.
邪恶！
Evil!
开车！开车！快开车！
Drive, drive, drive!
哦，对啊
Oh, right.
往那儿看，那是与斯普林菲尔德接壤的四大州
Look at that. You can see the four states that border SpringfieId:
俄亥俄、内华达、缅因和肯塔基州
Ohio, Nevada, Maine and Kentucky.
哦，是啊
Oh, yeah.
如果你仔细看的话，你几乎能…
And if you Iook reaI cIose, you can aImost--
这东西可真怪…
WeII, this certainIy seems odd. . .
…不过上帝无所不能啊
. . .but who am I to question the work of the AImighty?
感谢万能的上帝创造出这么 非凡、精致而又智能的生物
We thank you, Lord, for this mighty fine inteIIigent design.
太神奇了
Good job.
戳！戳！戳！
Jabbity, jabbity, jab, jab, jab!
嘿！要是再戳它眼睛，就是触犯法律！
Hey! Jab one more eye and it's a federaI crime.
- 你们是谁？ - 环保局（EPA）
-Who are you? -EnvironmentaI Protection Agency.
罗斯·卡吉尔，环保局局长，来见总统
Russ CargiII, head of the EPA, here to see the president.
总统先生
Mr. President.
对，我就是 （施瓦辛格总统）
Ja, that is me.
斯普林菲尔德的污染已经到了危急状态
PoIIution in SpringfieId has reached crisis IeveIs.
我真讨厌这差事 不是危机，就是什么世界末日
I hate this job. Everything's ''crisis'' this and ''end of the worId'' that.
就没人先说个笑话引出议题 我想念丹尼·狄·维托
Nobody opens with a joke. I miss Danny De Vito.
你想听笑话？ 要是你听过这个的话，就阻止我讲下去
You want a joke, huh? Stop me if you've heard this one.
看看这些愤怒的眼睛和巨型獠牙
Look at those angry eyes and giant teeth.
就跟在肯尼迪家过圣诞节一样恐怖
It's Iike Christmas at the Kennedy compound.
总统先生，您委任我为环保局长时…
You know, sir, when you made me head of the EPA. . .
您将百年不遇的人才
. . .you appointed one of the most successfuI men in America. . .
低就于千年不遇的无能部门
. . .to the Ieast successfuI agency in government.
可我为什么还是欣然接受呢？
And why did I take the job?
因为我是个富翁，希望回馈社会
Because I'm a rich man who wanted to give something back.
我不是指钱，而是回馈些非物质的东西
Not the money, but something.
眼下这就是我们施展拳脚的机会
So here is our chance to kick some ass for Mother Earth.
- 接着说 - 我已经提炼出
-I'm Iistening. -WeII, I've narrowed your choices down. . .
…五个不可思议的议案
. . .to five unthinkabIe options.
每个都有难以预计的恶果…
Each wiII cause untoId misery--
我选第三个
I pick number three.
您不先读读再做决定吗？
You don't wanna read them first?
我当总统是为了"领导"不是为了"读议案" 我选第三个！
I was eIected to Iead, not to read. Number three!
我们被封在圆盖里了！
We're being seaIed in a dome!
我该怎么办？我不知道！
What do I do? I don't know what to do!
要是进来就被关在这儿 要是出去就孤零零一个人
If I stay, I'm trapped. If I Ieave, I'm aIone.
天啊！进来！出去！…
Oh, God. In, out, in, out!
我还没亲眼见过威尼斯
I never saw Venice.
被困终生！
''Trapped forever. ''
这一切都是真的
It's aII come true.
教堂发疯的老头子说得没错！
That crazy oId man in church was right.
圆盖！
Dome!
好了，伙计们，开火
AII right, men, open fire.
谁受伤了？受伤的举手
Who's hurt? Raise your hands.
就没好点的表现
Without the attitude.
大家注意！ 有重要事件向大家宣布
PeopIe, peopIe. I have an important announcement.
我刚刚改进了一台喷酸式超级无敌钻孔机
I have just perfected an acid-firing super-driII. . .
- 它可以无坚不破！ - 太好了！
-. . .which can cut through anything. -Hey, that's cooI.
就在那儿！
It's right there.
就在圆盖外面
Just outside of the dome.
什么粗暴无耻之人会对我们下此毒手呢？
What ruthIess madmen couId have done this to us?
美国联邦政府
The United States government,
我叫罗斯·卡吉尔，EPA的主管
My name is Russ Cargill and I'm head of the EPA,
什么？
The what?
- 环保局 - 再说一遍？
-Environmental Protection Agency, -Come again?
我是大屏幕上的人，你们给我听着
Look, I'm a man on a big TV, Just listen,
- 斯普林菲尔德已经… - 斯普林菲尔德!
-Springfield has become-- -SpringfieId!
成为有史以来最为污染的城市…
--the most polluted city in the history of the planet,
小题大作
Drama queen!
为了防止向外散播污染
To keep your poisons from spreading,,,
政府将你们封于此圆盖内
,,, your government has sealed you in this dome,
除此之外别无他法
It's the last thing we wanted to do,
圆盖是我公司造的，不过这是题外话
I own the company that makes the dome, but that's beside the point,
你是说我们象老鼠一样被困这儿了？
You mean we're trapped Iike rats?
不，想困住老鼠可不这么容易 你们更象是…胡萝卜
No, rats can 't be trapped this easily, You're trapped like carrots,
等一下，不再有污染了呀 大家都不再向湖中倾泻废物了
Wait. We couIdn't be more poIIuted. Everyone stopped dumping in the Iake.
很显然，有个家伙可不听这套
Apparently someone didn 't get the message,
自然点
Act naturaI.
嘿！迟早会有人路过这儿 将一切公之于众的
Hey, buddy, sooner or Iater, peopIe are gonna discover this.
别担心，我们知道怎么把你们从地图上抹去
Don 't worry about that, We found a way to take you off the map,
你右侧将出现的…
Coming up on your right:
无名地
Nothing,
我是肯特·布鲁克曼，向您报道严重危机
This is Kent Brockman, reporting to you on a crisis so serious. . .
此危机拥有独一无二的名字和主题曲
. . .it has its own name and theme music.
圆盖是为了灭绝生命
The dome has put an end to Iife as we know it.
现在城里汽油、除皱针等种种资源短缺
The town is running Iow on suppIies of everything from gasoIine to Botox.
请稍等
Moment, pIease.
与往常一样 节目最后我们来看看"鸿毛一瞥"
Now, as aIways, we end our news on ''The Lighter Side. ''
现在正是燕子回归斯普林菲尔德的季节
It's the time of year when the swaIIows return to SpringfieId.
我想我最怀念的，还是夏日中的一缕微风
I think the thing I miss most is a simpIe summer breeze.
玛吉？
Maggie?
无腊、无需抛光、无需翻修 你需要的就是"圆盖地波"
We've got dome wax, dome polish, dome freshener, all your dome needs,,,
"圆盖地波"位于圆盖及105号
,,,at Dome Depot, located at the 1 05 and the dome,
圆盖地波！
Dome Depot!
玛吉跑出去了！玛吉跑出去了！
Maggie got out! Maggie got out!
玛吉刚才就在那里，就在圆盖外面
Maggie was right there, just outside the dome.
玛吉，她在这儿
Marge, she's right here.
这圆盖会叫你产生幻觉 你一定要镇定，而且…
This dome can pIay tricks on you. You just have to keep caIm and--
天啊！
Oh, my God.
我从圆盖里出来啦！ 新鲜空气！自由！
I'm out of the dome. Fresh air! Freedom!
我会给你写信的，多保重！
I'II write you. Lead good Iives!
晚上好，我是肯特·布鲁克曼
Good evening, this is Kent Brockman,
寻找污染环境、自私自利…
Efforts to find out whose selfish crime,,,
连累我们受困圆盖的罪魁祸首… 还是没有任何进展
,,,caused our entrapment have been fruitless,
但是不久之前…
Until moments ago!
斯普林菲尔德湖有了令人震惊的发现
A shocking discovery has been made here at Lake Springfield,
用这种猪便便罐子的人多得是…
That couId be anybody's pig-crap siIo.
荷马，原来是你干的！
Homer, it was you.
你将这个镇子置于死地啊！
You singIe-handedIy kiIIed this town.
我知道，这好奇怪
I know. It's weird.
提醒大家，我们电视台并不鼓励 义务警员行使正义
Just a reminder, this station does not endorse vigilante justice,
除非能将罪犯绳之以法，而这是迟早的事
Unless it gets results, Which it will,
你根本不把我的警告当回事
You didn't Iisten to me after I warned you.
别担心，这种无聊节目没人看的
Don't worry, nobody watches this stupid show.
远处那些不详之光是怎么回事？
What's that ominous gIow in the distance?
杀！杀！杀无赦！
Kill! Kill! Kill!
玛吉，快来看啊！ 那帮蠢蛋连我们住哪儿都不知道
Marge, Iook. Those idiots don't even know where we Iive.
杀！杀！杀无赦！
Kill! Kill! Kill!
交出荷马！交出荷马！
We want Homer! We want Homer!
恶魔！你是个恶魔！
You monster. You monster!
你也看了新闻？
Did you see the news?
亲爱的，别这样，眼下还有更棘手的事
Honey, come on, we have bigger probIems.
但是…我好生气
But I'm so angry.
你是女人，你要克制满腔怒火
You're a woman. You can hoId on to it forever.
好吧
Okay.
荷马，你得出去，面对大家…
Homer, you have to go out there, face that mob. . .
…为你的所作所为道歉
. . .and apoIogize for what you did.
我会的，但是我担心一开门 他们连你和孩子都不放过
I wouId, but I'm afraid if I open the door, they'II take aII of you.
不会的，我们只要荷马！
No, we won't. We just want Homer!
也许不是你们，但是他们会杀了爷爷
WeII, maybe not you, but they'II kiII Grampa.
我就在楼下人群里！
I'm part of the mob!
泰尼，把孩子带走！
Teeny! Take out the baby.
我来帮你点上
Here, Iet me get that for you.
后退！我这儿可有电锯！
Stay back. I got a chain saw.
巴特！
Bart!
爬过来！快点！
CrawI across. Hurry.
要是被发现，他们会杀了你的
But if they see you heIping us, they'II kiII you.
我肯定你爸也会这么…
I'm sure your father wouId do the same for--
你明白了，快点过来
Point taken. Now, hustIe your bustIes.
弓箭！
Archers.
我的箭是红色的 这样就知道谁是我的箭下冤魂
I'm using a red arrow so I know who I kiII.
不要！波洛特！ 要是再推，爸爸的小命就不保了
No, PIopper. If you push that, Daddy wiII die.
哈，终于开始转运咯
Hey, my Iuck's beginning to turn.
等一下！有东西忘了拿
Wait! There's something I have to get.
- 拿了什么？ - 我们的婚礼录像
-What'd you get? -Our wedding video.
- 我们居然有婚礼录像？ - 点燃煤气筒
-We have a wedding video? -Torch his gas tank!
甩掉他们啦！
We Iost them.
这里
Up here.
Get them! Get them!
Get them! Get them!
帮我一把？
LittIe heIp?
要知道，"道歉"这个词…
You know, the word ''apoIogy'' . . .
…现在到处泛滥 不过当它发自内心…
. . .is tossed around a Iot these days, but when it comes from in here--
妈，我们该怎么办？
Mom, what are we gonna do?
玛吉，现在别闹
Maggie, not now.
一会儿再玩
We'II pIay Iater.
大漏坑！跟我来！孩子们！
The sinkhoIe. FoIIow me, kids!
- 拜拜啦！ - 再见咯！
-Geronimo! -Sacajawea!
回见！衰人们！
So Iong, Iosers!
他的大脑壳还露着！挠他！
The top of his head is stiII showing. CIaw at it!
现在他们是中国的问题了
WeII, they're China's probIem now.
科林！
CoIin!
我听不见！
I can't hear you!
我从不曾幻想会经历如此完美时刻 但现在…
I never thought my Iife wouId have an absoIuteIy perfect moment, but this is--
丽莎有男朋友了！可惜他们就要诀别了！
Lisa's got a boyfriend that she'II never see again!
太完美了
--perfect.
- 我们该怎么办？ - 逃跑
-What do we do? -Now we run.
很遗憾叫他们跑了，先生
I'm afraid we Iost them, sir.
见鬼！
Damn it!
那就快把他们找回来！把他们丢进圆盖里！
WeII, then, you find them and you get them back in the dome.
别再叫其他人跑出来
And so nobody eIse gets out. . .
派人24小时守在那里！
. . .I want roving death squads around the perimeter 24/7.
我需要10000名骨干精英
I want 1 0,000 tough guys. . .
…我还需要10000虾兵蟹将 好叫精英更显阳刚之气
. . .and I want 1 0,000 soft guys to make the tough guys Iook tougher.
我要他们这样排列 精英、虾蟹、精英、虾蟹…
And here's how I want them arranged: Tough, tough, soft, tough. . .
…精英、虾蟹、精英、虾蟹…
. . .soft, soft, tough, tough, soft, soft, tough, soft.
先生，您都被手上的职权搞得抓狂了
Sir, I'm afraid you've gone mad with power.
当然了！无权无势能抓狂吗？ 那样就太无聊了，根本没人搭理你
Of course. Ever try going mad without power? It's boring. No one Iistens to you.
- 巴特，你在喝威士忌？ - 我现在心烦！
-Bart, are you drinking whiskey? -I'm troubIed.
- 巴特！ - 我保证明天就戒！
-Bart. -I promise, I'II stop tomorrow.
你现在就给我戒！
You'II stop right now.
小子，你给我回来！
You come back here, IittIe man.
我好想佛兰德斯！听到没？我想他！
I miss FIanders. There, I said it!
- 你爸哪去了？ - 出去了
-Where's your father? -He went out.
趁他现在不在，我们快点重建生活吧
Let's quickIy rebuiId our Iives whiIe he's gone.
嗨，伙计们？
Hey, guys?
敲门暗号是什么来着？
What's the secret knock, again?
听着，我知道都是我惹的祸，这是大麻烦
Look, I know I screwed up. This is big.
超级大麻烦！ 我们无家可归！
It's huge! We're homeIess!
所有的朋友都惦记着杀我们！
Our friends wanna kiII us!
你要是还想和我们过日子…
Before we can even stay in the same room with you. . .
…现在就老实告诉我 你脑子究竟在想什么？
. . .I need to know what was going through your mind. . .
…把我的话当耳旁风
. . .when you didn't Iisten to me. . .
居然把罐子扔到湖里…
. . .and dumped that siIo in the Iake.
荷马！
Homer!
我不知道该怎么回答，玛芝！ 我做事不动脑子！
I don't know what to teII you, Marge. I don't think about things.
我敬佩那些动脑袋想问题的人，可是…
I respect peopIe who do. . .
我只想不伤害任何人 能安安稳稳的与你厮守
. . .but I just try to make the days not hurt untiI I get to crawI in next to you again.
我的意思是，哦！
I mean, oh.
真的很抱歉，不仅仅只是抱歉…
Look, I'm reaIIy sorry. But I'm more than just sorry. . .
…我已经想好了解决方案
. . .I'm prepared with a soIution.
我总是担心自己把生活搞砸 对此留有后路，以备不时之需
I've aIways been afraid I'd screw up our Iives so badIy we'd need a backup pIan.
那个方案就在这里！
And that pIan is right here!
不是
No.
不是这个
Nope.
有了
Bingo.
请多包涵
Bear with me.
阿拉斯加？
AIaska?
阿拉斯加，一个不会超重 不会酩酊大醉的地方
AIaska. A pIace where you can't be too fat or too drunk.
一个没人在乎
Where no one says things Iike:
"高中毕业证"的地方
''Let's see your high schooI equivaIency certificate. ''
我不确定，荷马
I don't know, Homie.
我说的不是很恰当
I'm not saying it right.
这样想吧 我无法独自一人开始新生活
Look, the thing is, I can't start a new Iife aIone.
而且我真的开始喜欢你们这帮家伙了！
And I've reaIIy come to Iike you guys.
我真的看不出来
I just don't see it.
玛芝，婚姻生活中你只有一次机会说…
Marge, in every marriage, you get one chance to say:
"我需要与你同心协力"
''I need you to do this with me. ''
而这句话的回应也是唯一的
And there's onIy one answer when somebody says that.
好吧，荷马，我们一起同甘共苦
Okay, Homie, I'm with you.
谢谢你，我的甜心
Thank you, my sweetheart.
- 妈？ - 什么事，亲爱的？
-Mom? -Yes, honey?
你又被屎上最肥化肥推销员给唬了
You just bought another Ioad of crap. . .
对一堆没用的垃圾信以为真
. . .from the worId's fattest fertiIizer saIesman.
你要为破坏这个 家族温馨黄金时刻付出代价！
You'II pay for ruining this goIden famiIy moment!
荷马！
Homer!
没有钱，我们怎么去阿拉斯加？
How are we supposed to get to AIaska without any money?
儿子，要是你不相信我 那就相信美国梦吧
AII right, son. If you don't beIieve in me, beIieve in America.
美国，一个遍地黄金的地方
America. Where any man can make quick money with no questions asked.
人人都有机会，快来赢这辆货车啊！
Step right up and win my truck!
只需到达圆球之巅就可轻松实现
AII you have to do is conquer the BaII of Death.
- 有什么蹊跷吧？ - 没有
-What's the catch? -No catch.
只要一次性开着这辆摩托到球顶就算赢
Just ride the motorcycIe aII the way around just one time.
三次机会，10块钱
Three tries for $ 1 0.
- 玛芝，我们还剩多少钱？ - 10块
-Marge, how much money do we have? -Ten doIIars.
这也算一次呦
That counts as a try.
两次
That's two.
三次
And that's three.
这样吧，我喜欢看你摔得这么惨
Here's what I'II do, because I Iike seeing you hurt yourseIf:
再免费给你试一次
I'II give you one on the house.
- 你太好了 - 爸！
-You're the best. -Dad!
到球顶的时候别减速，加速！
When you get to the top, don't sIow down, speed up!
- 但我好怕！ - 听我的没错！
-But that's when it's the scariest. -Just do it!
耶！
Yes!
耶，爸！
Yay, Dad!
现在把卡车给我吧
I'II take that truck now.
天，我老婆会杀了我的
Oh, man. My wives are gonna kiII me.
下一站，阿拉斯加！
Next stop, AIaska!
圆盖下，第37天
Day 37 under the dome,
我们正面临间歇性断电…
We are facing intermittent power failures which--
好啦，闹够了，我把灯再关上
Okay, very funny. I'm gonna turn the Iights off again.
等灯一亮，酒要给我物归原处
When they come back on, I want aII my booze back the way it was.
好啦，这下好啦
Yeah, okay. Okay.
我为你自豪，巴特，才一天你就清醒了
I'm very proud of you, Bart. Over 24 hours sober.
- 你酒醒了吧？ - 我来证明给你看
-You are, aren't you? -I'II prove it.
给你爸爸一个改过的机会 我们现在只是…
We're giving your father another chance, and we owe it to him to--
- 哦，天啊！ - 需要什么吗？
-Oh, my God. -Can I heIp you?
我…我们要尿布
We need diapers.
- 好的 - 等一下，不要了，我们不要了
-Okay. -No. No, we don't. We don't.
- 要女士剃刀 - 好的
-Ladies' razorbIades. -Right.
不，不要了 差点忘了，我们欧洲人不用那个的
No! No. No, we don't. I forgot, we're European.
我们要牛肉干
Just give us beef jerky.
好多好多牛肉干
Lots and Iots of beef jerky.
对，我们就要这个
That's right. That's what we need. That's aII we came in for.
当然
Sure.
哦，天啊！他们在那！
Oh, my God. There they are!
（欢乐假期——蒙弟、波兹）
你们想向我要电，是吗？
So you want some of my eIectricity, do you?
暴富白人总算是掌权了！
WeII, for once, the rich white man is in controI.
我桌子这儿有两个钮
I have two buttons behind this desk.
一个是你们需要的电源 另一个是放狗咬人
One wiII suppIy your town with power, the other reIeases the hounds.
说吧，看你们能不能打动我
Reach me. Make me your brother.
医院的发电机快不行了
The hospitaI's generator is about to give out.
很多人要丧生
Lives wiII be Iost.
生命、死亡，继续
''Lives Iost. '' Go on.
明天有宴会，要做菜，但是没电不成啊
We got a convict we were gonna fry tomorrow, but now we can't.
美味，诱惑啊
Tempting. Tempting.
我们说什么都无足轻重
Look, aII our reasons mean nothing.
你扪心自问，自然就会发现答案
Just Iook into your heart and you'II find the answer.
- 右手边第一道门 - 谢谢
-First door on the right. -Thank you.
什么？这根本不是我想象中的阿拉斯加！
What--? This isn't the way I pictured AIaska at aII!
现在这样好多了
Oh, that's better.
荷马！
Homer!
好在我的画报没弄坏
WeII, at Ieast my poster didn't get torn.
欢迎来阿拉斯加，这是给您的1000块钱
WeIcome to AIaska. Here's $ 1 000.
真是雪中送炭啊！可为什么呢？
WeII, it's about time! But why?
我们给每位来访的公民1000块钱…
We pay every resident $ 1 000. . .
…以便他们支持石油公司 大肆破坏国家级自然风光
. . .to aIIow oiI companies to ravage our state's naturaI beauty.
我终于来到了这片乐土！
I'm home!
谢谢
Oh, thanks.
（辛普森家）
你干嘛呢，巴特？
What are you doing, Bart?
不过是消磨时间罢了
Just passing the time.
我儿子太爱阿拉斯加了 他正鼓掌欢呼呢！
My boy Ioves AIaska so much, he's appIauding it.
- 丽莎，你怎么不一起鼓掌？ - 但是，爸…
-Lisa, why aren't you cIapping? -But, Dad--
为阿拉斯加鼓掌！
CIap for AIaska!
玛芝，这堵雪墙成就了我们的二人世界
WeII, Marge, we're separated from the kids by a waII of snow.
我终于美梦成真了
AII my dreams are coming true.
我们需要更多的鸟
We're going to need more birds.
圆盖下的第93天
Day 93 under the dome.
现在物资极其匮乏…
With necessities growing dangerousIy Iow. . .
…谁知道接下来会发生什么呢？
. . .who knows what spark wiII set off this powder keg?
- 好了，我们来讨论"与莫里共度周二" - 还讨论？
-Let's discuss Tuesdays with Morrie, -Again?
要是再不讨论新书，就要令我作呕了
If we don't get a new book, I'm going to puke.
你这个要下地狱的恶魔！
You're the five peopIe I'm going to meet in heII!
（匿名酒精俱乐部）
我们没有咖啡啦！
We're out of coffee!
这个圆盖我一分钟都待不下去了！
I can't take another minute in this dome!
接着
Take that.
不，又反弹回来了
Oh, no! BIowback!
（卡吉尔牌监视摄像头）
看看他们是怎么对待圆盖的
Look what they're doing to our dome.
总统，您知道那是什么吗？
You know what that is, sir?
- 裂缝？ - 没错
-A crack? -ExactIy.
之前有人从圆盖跑出来过 所以这事迟早还会再发生
PeopIe got out of the dome before, they're gonna get out again.
如果发生，接下来的 就是听证会、深入调查
When they do, there's gonna be hearings, investigations. . . .
天啊！那我就得接着去干老本行 拍家庭喜剧
I'II have to go back to making famiIy comedies.
别担心，我有解决方案，总统先生
Don't worry, I have a soIution for you, sir.
事实上，我有五套方案
In fact, I have five soIutions.
您不用逐字逐句的阅读，您可以进行否决
You don't have to read them. You'II have deniabiIity.
这事就交由我全权负责，您不用操心
I'II take care of it. You know nothing.
不，我得知道要批准的行动
No. I need to know what I'm approving.
当然了！但是换句话说… 掌握真相这事总被夸大其词
AbsoIuteIy. But on the other hand, knowing things is overrated.
了解事实真相后，傻子也能做出判断
Anyone can pick something when they know what it is.
对于真正的领袖来说，其高明之处在于 在全然未知的情况下做出决策
It takes reaI Ieadership to pick something you're cIueIess about.
- 好啦，那我选三号 - 再重选一次
-Okay, I pick three. -Try again.
- 一号，五号？ - 选个大点的数，太大了
-One. Five? -Go higher. Too high.
- 三号 - 你之前选过了
-Three? -You said three.
- 六号，二号 - 没六号，加倍
-Six? Two? -There is no six. DoubIe it.
- 四号 - 那就听您的，总统
-Four! -As you wish, sir.
（四号方案：炸平斯普林菲尔德）
你是否对一成不变的大峡谷感到厌倦？
Are you tired of the same old Grand Canyon?
我们到了，孩子们，这里就是大峡谷
Here we are, kids, the Grand Canyon.
好破，真无聊啊 我想要个新的，现在就要！
It's so oId and boring. I want a new one. Now!
你们好啊，我是汤姆·汉克斯
HeIIo. I'm Tom Hanks.
美国政府已经失信于民
The U.S. government has Iost its credibiIity. . .
…所以不得不借用我的威名
. . .so it's borrowing some of mine.
摸摸我的头发，汉克斯先生
TousIe my hair, Mr. Hanks.
没问题，孩子
Sure thing, son.
现在我荣幸的向大家介绍崭新的大峡谷
Now, I'm pIeased to teII you aII about the New Grand Canyon.
将于本周六正式运营 位于华府以南，莎百维以东 （艺术模拟）
This weekend, East of Shelbyville and south of Capitol City,
那是斯普林菲尔德所在地！
That's where SpringfieId is!
这将是你闻所未闻的新景观
It's nowhere near where anything is or ever was.
这是汤姆·汉克斯的心声
This is Tom Hanks, saying:
选择值得信任的政府…为什么不选我呢？
If you're going to pick a government to trust, why not this one?
你们看到了吗？
Did you see that?
是的，他们打算将斯普林菲尔德夷为平地！
Yes, they're going to destroy SpringfieId.
不过我们会阻止他们
But we're going to stop them.
荷马，穿好衣服了吗？荷马
Homie, get your cIothes on. Homie?
我喜欢这里，叫斯普林菲尔德见鬼去吧！
I'm happy here. Screw SpringfieId!
不敢相信你会这么自私
I can't beIieve you'd say something so seIfish.
玛芝，那帮人拿着草叉火把追赶我们
Marge, those peopIe chased us with pitchforks and torches.
火把啊，居然下午四点就点火把
Torches! At 4 in the afternoon!
- 那时是晚上七点 - 那时正在播《走进好莱坞》
-It was 7 at night. -It was during Access Hollywood,
那节目四点、七点都播
Which is on at 4 and 7.
爸，你怎么能对 那些爱我们的人置之不理呢？
Dad, how can you turn your back on everyone who Ioved us?
我们有麻烦的时候 佛兰德斯可是挺身相助的
FIanders heIped when we were in troubIe.
谁在乎佛兰德斯干过什么？ 他又不是你老爸！
Who cares what he did? He's not your father.
我倒希望他是！
I wish he was.
你在说气话，你崇拜我
You don't mean that. You worship me.
哦，是吗？ 那看看我把你的照片怎么着了
Oh, yeah? Look what I did to your picture.
看看啊
Look at it.
灵不灵，灵不灵
How-diIIy-doo-diIIy. How-diIIy-doo-diIIy.
为什么，你这个小…！
Why, you IittIe--!
我掐死你！
I'II strangIe-angIe you!
看我的
DiddiIy-diddiIy.
巴特，别这样！看我的
Bart, stop it! Leave this to me.
荷马…
Homer. . .
…婚姻生活中你只有一次机会说 "我需要与你同心协力"
. . .in every marriage, you get one chance to say:
"我需要与你同心协力"
''I need you to do this with me. ''
这是我听过最傻的蠢话
That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard.
荷马·辛普森！
Homer Simpson!
我们要拯救斯普林菲尔德！
We're saving SpringfieId!
你们都给我听好！我们就待在这儿！
Listen to me, aII of you. We are staying.
我们在阿拉斯加过得很开心…
We have a great Iife in AIaska. . .
…绝不会再踏入美国一步！
. . .and we're never going back to America again.
我说完了！
I have spoken!
（侠盗海象）
让他们提心吊胆够了
WeII, I guess I've Iet her worry about me Iong enough.
玛芝？孩子？
Marge? Kids?
（请用录像机播放）
好啦
Okay, here goes,
荷马…
Homer,,,
…我总是支持你
,,,I've always stood up for you,
当别人指责你的错误缺点时…
When people point out your flaws,,,
…我总是说
,,,I always say:
只要变换个角度看待 就能体会到荷马的真诚
''Well, sometimes you have to stand back to appreciate a work of art, ''
大角度
Way back.
可最近，我只能靠忽略你的所作所为…
Lately, what's keeping us together,,,
…来维系我们之间的感情
,,,is my ability to overlook everything you do,
之所以忽略，是因为…
And I overlook these things because,,,,
是因为？
Because?
这就是问题所在
Well, that's the thing,
我不知道该怎么把话说完
I just don 't know how to finish that sentence anymore,
现在我带着孩子们 回去帮助斯普林菲尔德
So I'm leaving with the kids to help Springfield,,,
…我们不会再回来了
,,,and we're never coming back,
为了说服我自己这就是我们的结局
And to prove to myself that this is the end,,,
…我用现在的这段画面 覆盖了我们的结婚录像
,,,I taped this over our wedding video,
再见了，荷马
Goodbye, Homie,
我爱你
I love you,
玛芝？孩子？
Marge? Kids?
（未完待续…）
（马上开始…）
- 妈，我们有什么计划？ - 你在那上面干什么？
-So, Mom, what's our pIan? -What are you doing up there?
我在翻大家的行李
Looking through peopIe's Iuggage.
我是恶魔公司的吉祥物
I'm the mascot of an eviI corporation.
你给我下来！我们要低调一点…
Get down from there. We have to keep a Iow profiIe. . .
在到达西雅图向世人宣布 摧毁斯普林菲尔德的阴谋之前
. . .tiII we get to SeattIe to teII the worId of the pIot to destroy SpringfieId.
你们是不是不应该这么大声说这事啊？
I don't know if you guys shouId be taIking so Ioud.
丽莎，政府不会监听公民对话的
Oh, Lisa, it's not Iike the government is Iistening to everybody's conversation.
（国家安全局）
嘿，我要谈谈你们的"肉欲情人"匹萨
Hi, I'm calling about your Meat Lover's pizza,
我喜欢吃肉，可是不确定是否会重投爱河
I like meat, but I don 't know if I'm ready to love again,
- 你先挂电话 - 不，你先
-You hang up first, -No, you hang up first,
好吧
Okay,
她居然挂我电话！
She hung up on me!
我们现在是逃犯 在到达西雅图前要低调
But we're fugitives, We should just lay low till we get to Seattle,
嘿，我找到了！
Hey, everybody, I found one!
政府居然成功找到了缉拿的罪犯！
The government actuaIIy found someone we're Iooking for!
哇！太好啦！
Yeah, baby, yeah!
荷马·辛普森…
Homer Simpson. . .
…知道为什么你会身处此地吗？
. . .do you know why you are here?
因为我家人关心外人胜过亲人
Because my famiIy cares more about other peopIe than they do about me.
把这个喝下去
Drink this Iiquid.
请再来点
More, pIease.
现在我们要通过古老的…
Now we wiII cIeanse your spirit. . .
因纽特"甩腔"唤回你古老的灵魂
. . .by the ancient Inuit art of throat singing.
甩腔？
Throat singing?
要唱多久？
How Iong are we doing this?
直到你拥有"艾辟福尼"为止 好吧
-UntiI you have an epiphany. -Okay.
艾辟福尼是什么？
What's an epiphany?
突然间的大彻大悟
Sudden reaIization of great truth.
好吧
Okay.
蜘蛛猪，蜘蛛猪
Spider-Pig, Spider-Pig
施展浑身解数，尽显蜘蛛猪神威
Does whatever a Spider-Pig does
当心啊
Look out!
它是蜘蛛猪
He's a Spider-Pig
除非你拥有"艾辟福尼"…
UnIess you have an epiphany. . .
…否则你将孤独一生
. . .you wiII spend the remainder of your days aIone.
艾辟福尼，艾辟福尼
Epiphany, epiphany, epiphany.
哦，我知道了，香蕉是钾化物的重要原料
Bananas are an exceIIent source of potassium.
美国永远不会痴迷足球？
Americans wiII never embrace soccer?
打了我这么多下，你们在自娱自乐吗？
More than two shakes and it's pIaying with yourseIf?
你们要干什么？
Hey, what are you doing?
随你们干什么吧，我都不在乎了
Oh, do whatever you want to me. I don't care about myseIf anymore.
因为…？
Because,,, ?
因为其他人和我同样重要
Because other peopIe are just as important as me.
没有他们，我就一文不名
Without them, I'm nothing.
只有拯救斯普林菲尔德…
In order to save myseIf. . .
…才能完成自我救赎！
. . .I have to save SpringfieId!
就是这样，是不是？
That's it! Isn't it?
刚才的经历真是不可思议
That was the most incredibIe experience of my Iife.
现在我要拯救我的家人、我的城镇 还要再减掉10磅体重！
And now to find my famiIy, save my town and drop 1 0 pounds!
太感谢你了，大奶婆！
Thank you, boob Iady.
我们到了，孩子们，这就是西雅图
This is it, kids. SeattIe.
罗斯·卡吉尔！你觉得他看到我们了吗？
Russ CargiII! Do you think he saw us?
是的，我看到了
Yes, I did.
跑！快跑！
Run! Run!
跑！快跑！
Run! Run!
跑！快跑！
Run! Run!
跳！跳！
Jump! Jump!
落地！落地！
Land! Land!
休息！休息！
Rest! Rest!
跑！快跑！
Run! Run!
好啦，我知道大家今天都很辛苦…
Now, I know we've had a rough day. . .
…不过我相信大家可以克服这些困难
. . .but I'm sure we can put aII that behind us and--
不要咬挥鞭的胳膊啊！
That's my whipping arm!
为什么我鞭打的东西最终都要离我而去呢？
Why does everything I whip Ieave me?
继续走，继续走
Must keep going. Must keep going.
不，我不行了，我走不动了
No, I can't. I can't keep going.
走！你能行的！
Yes, you can.
不，我不行了
No, I can't!
闭嘴吧！
Oh, shut up!
你闭嘴
You shut up.
不，你，不，你
No, you. No, you.
不，你！哦，你真行
No, you. Oh, reaI mature.
你怎么这么说？
How couId you say that?
有什么意义呢？
Oh, what's the point?
帮帮我
It's hopeIess.
别放弃，荷马，道路并非你想象般艰难
Don't give up, Homer. You are cIoser than you think.
但我该往哪边走呢？
But which way do I go?
多谢
Much obIiged.
立正！
Ten-hut!
丽莎，别吹了！
Lisa! Knock off that racket.
丽莎！
Lisa!
他们抓住了我家人！ 我该怎么办？我该怎么办？
They captured my famiIy. What do I do? What do I do?
那个停车牌看着有点奇怪
There's something strange about that ''sop'' sign.
- 你听到什么动静了吗？ - 可能是老鼠
-Did you hear something? -ProbabIy just a moth.
但愿没事
I hope it's okay.
（硬石馆）
我们不能见个指示牌就停，接着开吧
Look, we can't keep stopping at every ''sop,'' ''yeId'' or ''one vay'' sign.
接着开吧
Just move on.
放我们出去！放我们出去！
Let us out! Let us out!
停下来！会把手铐弄坏的！
Stop that. You'II scratch your shackIes.
那样就好了！
I hope I do.
哦，你干的好事，巴特
Oh, way to go, Bart.
你好臭
You stink.
不，你才臭
No, you stink.
斯普林菲尔德
SpringfieId.
难以置信，这里更破了
I can't beIieve it, but it got even crappier.
（猪油劳甜甜圈）
（喧嚣地游乐中心）
（斯普林菲尔德小学）
哦，天！
Oh, man.
嗨，玛芝
Oh, hi, Midge.
荷马，到底怎么回事？
Moe, what happened?
圆盖将这里与世隔绝 所以情况有点复杂困惑
With the town seaIed off from the rest of the worId, things got a IittIe nutty here.
你干嘛穿成这样？
Why are you dressed Iike that?
我不想自吹自擂，不过… 我现在是斯普林菲尔德的新君主
WeII, I don't Iike to brag, but I am now the emperor of SpringfieId.
不，你不是！
No, you're not!
我就是！
Yes, I am!
好吧，君主万岁
Okay. HaiI, emperor.
斯普林菲尔德，请注意
Attention, Springfield,
政府意识到把你们笼罩于此是个弥天大错
Your government realized that putting you inside this dome was a terrible mistake,
所以我们将采取"翔鹰"计划
Therefore, we're commencing with Operation Soaring Eagle,
其中包括将你们全部歼灭
Which involves killing you all,
我讲话的同时，一个看似微小 却威力无比的炸弹已经启动
As I speak, we're lowering a small but powerful bomb into your midst,
尽管过去发生的不愉快 但我好想念你爸爸
Despite everything, I miss your father.
我也是
Me too.
这时候他的大屁股能把我们都遮住
His big, fat ass couId shieId us aII.
立正！
Ten-hut!
稍息， 我是马力·斯维奇将军…
At ease. I'm GeneraI Marriott Suites. . .
…我有总统的紧急通知
. . .and I have an urgent note from the president.
上面说，立即释放此地
It says to reIease this town immediateIy.
为什么会写在叶子上？
Why is it written on a Ieaf?
（1、击倒警卫） （2、爬过大漏坑）
（3、拯救城市） （4、返还门卫工作服）
（仓库）
（喷气发动机组件）
太好了 （强力胶）
Perfect.
荷马·辛普森这回要叫 你们看看我也是有种的人！
Now Homer Simpson's gonna show he has cojones!
妈，我要去找科林
Mom, I've gotta go find CoIin.
现在不行，亲爱的 世界末日要和家人共度
Not now, sweetie. Doomsday is famiIy time.
如果有人能去吸引卡吉尔注意 那剩下的人就能爬到那儿上面
Hey. If one of us distracts CargiII, the rest of us can cIimb up that thing.
谁会傻到不顾自己的性命呢？
Who'd be dumb enough to stay behind whiIe we escape with our Iives?
我终于有了用武之地
My time to shine.
嘿，大屏幕人，看我这儿
Hey, Mr. Big TV Man, Iookie here!
你想干什么？
What do you want?
看看我能拿拇指变什么花样
Look what I can do with my thumb.
想知道我是怎么做到的吗？
You wanna know how I do it?
家族世世代代的传授？
Four generations of inbreeding?
我都能闻到新鲜空气了！
I can smeII fresh air.
我听到了鸟鸣声！
I can hear birds.
我品尝到了自由的味道！
I taste freedom.
请原谅！小心！让开！
Excuse me! Watch out! Coming through!
我被傻子给蒙了
I was tricked by an idiot,
我理解你现在的感受 我以前也被鸡给骗过
Hey, I know how you feeI. I was beat in tic-tac-toe by a chicken.
再见了
Goodbye,
我表现得怎么样？
Homer do good?
你把我们的命都给搭进去了 很荣幸认识你，荷马
ActuaIIy, you doomed us aII. Again. Nice knowing you, Homer.
但是我…
But I. . . .
我做什么都是错的！
I can't do anything right.
滚开！
Get out of here!
（机器人地狱&篮球卡商店）
我这辈子除了收集漫画外，一事无成
I've spent my entire Iife doing nothing but coIIecting comic books.
现在到了生命的尽头，我只想说…
And now there's onIy time to say:
这太充实了！
Life weII spent!
好了，孩子们，要是见到耶稣 一定记着要称他"耶稣先生"
Okay, boys. When you meet Jesus, be sure to caII him Mr. Christ.
佛祖也会在那儿吗？
WiII Buddha be there too?
不
No.
- 嘿，佛兰德斯 - 巴特
-Hey, FIanders. -Bart.
见到你真高兴，你在这儿可真糟
How good to see you. And how terribIe you're here.
谢谢
Thanks.
听着，我在想…
Listen. I was just wondering if. . .
…我死前…
. . .before I died. . .
…可以假装成有个…
. . .I couId pretend I had a father who. . .
…关心我的爸爸
. . .cared for me.
过来，孩子
Come here, son.
佛兰德斯永远欢迎你
There's aIways room for one more in the FIanders cIan.
快点，拆弹机器人，现在就指望你了
Come on, bomb-disarming robot. You're our Iast hope.
红线、蓝线，黑线一般是接地线…
Red wire, Blue wire, Black is usually the ground,
机器人压力重重
So much pressure,
压力！
Pressure!
他一直这么说，不过我完全没当回事
He'd been taIking about it, but I didn't take him seriousIy.
玛芝
Marge.
玛芝！玛芝！
Marge! Marge!
哦，不，大树！
Oh, no, the ''epipha-tree'' !
嘿，我已经尽力了，还想叫我怎么样？
Hey, I tried my best. What am I supposed to do?
我怎么才能到那儿去？
But how am I supposed to get up there?
给，买点东西犒劳一下自己
Here. Buy yourseIf something nice.
荷马，你现在想干什么？
Homer? What the heII are you doing now?
舍身去救那些到现在
Risking my Iife to save peopIe I hate. . .
…我都不明白恨从何来的人 我得走了
. . .for reasons I don't quite understand. Gotta go!
首先，先要停一站
But first, one stop.
巴特？儿子？
Bart? Son?
你能不能给你这个愚蠢的老爸
You think you couId find it in your heart. . .
…一次改过的机会？
. . .to give your fooIish oId man one more chance?
我，我不…
Oh, I don't know.
孩子，我觉得你爸的意思
It seems to me, son, that your father's saying that. . .
…是想和你共度生命的最后时刻
. . .he wants to spend his Iast minute with you.
不，我做不到
No. I can't do it.
我希望有个早上和晚上一样的爸爸
I want a father who's the same in the morning as he is at night.
那个词是什么来着…
What's that word?
- 始终如一 - 始终如一
-Consistency. -Consistency.
谢谢，衰人
Thanks, Iosers.
抱歉，荷马
Sorry, Homer.
我会叫你抱着炸弹的
I'II Iet you hoId the bomb.
那我就不能拒绝啦！
The man knows me.
真希望荷马是我老爸
I wish Homer was my father.
我还希望你没长着魔鬼一样的卷发呢
And I wish you didn't have the deviI's curIy hair.
我这辈子都在听你的鬼话！
I've been taking your crap aII my Iife!
真爽啊！怪不得你们喜欢这么做
This feeIs good. No wonder you do it.
巴特，一定要一次命中 把炸弹从孔里扔出去
Okay, you've onIy got one shot to throw that bomb through the hoIe.
爸，万一我没扔进去…
Dad, in case I miss. . .
…对不起，我之前说希望你不是我亲爸
. . .I'm sorry I said I wished you weren't my father.
我不怪你，孩子 我也一直不是个好爸爸
I don't bIame you, son. I wasn't much of a father.
可能是我老爸抚养我的方式
Maybe it starts with the way my dad raised me.
是的，我明白，这不过是个 持续的长久的怪圈…
Yes. It's cIear to me. It's just been one Iong, unbroken cycIe of--
快点把该死的炸弹扔了！
Somebody throw the goddamn bomb!
怎么了？发生什么事了？
What? What's going on?
成功了，儿子！
We did it, boy!
爸?
Dad?
（斯普林菲尔德峡谷）
没有人员伤亡，太好了
It's amazing no one was hurt.
永别了，朋友们
Bye, everybody.
这才是伟大的父子英雄事迹
Now, that was a great father-son activity.
你好啊，荷马
HeIIo, Homer.
我们终于见面了，虽然还不知道你到底是谁
So we meet at Iast, whoever you are.
有两样东西 在哈佛工商学院是永远学不到的
There's two things they don't teach you at Harvard Business SchooI.
那就是如何面对失败，以及怎么使枪
How to cope with defeat, and how to handIe a shotgun.
现在我就要尝试这两样
I'm going to do both right now.
等一下！你要是杀了我爸…
Wait! If you kiII my dad. . .
…就永远甭想知道财宝藏哪了
. . .you'II never know where the treasure is buried.
什么财宝？
What treasure?
"胜利"财宝
The Treasure of Imawiener.
胜利？
I'm a wiener?
太经典了
CIassic.
走自己的路，让别人笑去吧
WeII, aIways Ieave them Iaughing.
再见了，先生
Goodbye, sir.
玛吉！你真是了不起啊！
Maggie! What a great IittIe accident you turned out to be.
科林？科林！
CoIin? CoIin!
丽莎？科林死了！
Lisa? CoIin's dead.
不过他的临终遗言是
But his Iast words were:
"维尔豪斯，一定要照顾好丽莎" 握住她的纤纤细手
''MiIhouse, take care of Lisa. HoId her hand. ''
我帮你们暖场了
I got her aII warmed up for you.
科林！嗨
CoIin. Hi.
- 你想不想去… - 清理湖水
-Hey, you wanna go--? -CIean up the Iake?
我本来想说去吃冰激凌的 不过你的提议也不错
WeII, I was gonna say get some ice cream, but okay.
我喜欢冰激凌
I Iike ice cream.
我的手出汗了，不好意思哈
Kind of sweaty. Sorry.
伙计，你居然活下来了！ 怎么幸存下来的？
Boy! You survived! How?
我做了狗都不会做的事
I did things no dog shouId do.
它们会永远阴魂不散地缠着我的
They wiII haunt me forever.
我也爱你
I Iove you too.
这辈子最浪漫的吻
Best kiss of my Iife.
"目前为止"最浪漫的吻
Best kiss of your Iife so far.
别动
Steady.
别动
Steady.
别动
Steady.
爸?
Dad?
谢谢，孩子
Thanks, boy.
别动
Steady.
（请坚持看完本片，后面还有精彩片段）
先生，所有东西都被拿走了
They've taken everything, sir.
史密斯，我从来不相信自杀
Smithers, I don't beIieve in suicide. . .
……但是如果你想试试看的话 也许会令我暂时忘掉烦恼
. . .but if you'd Iike to try it, it might cheer me up to watch.
我是汤姆·汉克斯
This is Tom Hanks, saying:
如果你有幸见到我本人，请勿骚扰
If you see me in person, pIease, Ieave me be.
蜘蛛猪，蜘蛛猪
Spider-Pig, Spider-Pig
施展浑身解数，尽显蜘蛛猪神威
Does whatever a Spider-Pig does
它能游走于蜘蛛网吗？
Can he swing from a web?
当然不能，它归根结底还是猪
No, he can 't, he's a pig
当心啊！
Look out!
它是蜘蛛猪
He is a Spider-Pig
当心啊！
Look out!
它是蜘蛛猪
He is a Spider-Pig
爸，快走吧，自打他们拿圆盖盖着我们 我就一直憋到现在
Come on, Dad, Iet's go. I've been hoIding it since they put the dome over the town.
再忍会儿，很多人为这片子流血流汗…
You can wait. A Iot of peopIe worked reaIIy hard on this fiIm. . .
…他们唯一的愿望 就是你能记住他们的名字
. . .and aII they ask is for you to memorize their names.
我想确定整个影片摄制过程中…
WeII, I wanna make sure no animaIs were harmed. . .
…没有任何动物伤亡
. . .during the fiIming of this movie.
（整个影片摄制过程中没有伤及动物）
好吧
Okay.
别人落下的爆米花！
FIoor popcorn.
等等等等等等！玛吉好像有话要说！
Wait, wait, wait! It Iooks Iike Maggie has something to say.
天，她的第一句话啊！
Oh, my God. Her first word.
大结局？
SequeI?
斯普林菲尔德没有赞美诗
Springfield doesn 't have an anthem
我们以为有 可是实际上并没有
We thought we had one But we don 't
我们花钱请了个矮子来写呀
We paid a short guy to write it
但是给了钱之后，人就踪影不见
But we never saw him again
我们从法国佬那儿偷来个调子
The tune we stole from the French
有些事情他们还真在行
There's a few things they do well
比如做爱、酿酒、晒干酪
Like making love, wine and cheese
比如各种各色的香奶酪
Like Roqueforts, Camemberts and Bries
斯普林菲尔德，我们要死了
Springfield, we're going to die
斯普林菲尔德，我害怕，再见
Springfield, I'm scared, goodbye
助理的活真不是人干的！
Assistant manager isn't aII it's cracked up to be.
四年电影学院就是这个下场？
Four years of fiIm schooI for this?
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