老友记-第一季-第一集

101 The One Where Monica Gets a New Roommate (The Pilot-The Uncut Version)

 

[Scene:Central Perk, Chandler,Joey, Phoebe, and Monica are there.]

Monica: There'snothing to tell! He's just some guy I work with!

Joey: Come on,you're going out with the guy! There's gotta be something wrong with him!

Chandler: All rightJoey, be nice.  So does he have a hump? Ahump and a hairpiece?

Phoebe: Wait, doeshe eat chalk?

(They allstare, bemused.)

Phoebe: Just,'cause, I don't want her to go through what Iwent through with Carl- oh!

Monica: Okay,everybody relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people going out todinner and- not having sex.

Chandler: Sounds likea date to me.

[Time Lapse]

Chandler: Alright, so I'm back in high school, I'm standing inthe middle of thecafeteria, and I realize I amtotallynaked.

All: Oh, yeah.Had that dream.

Chandler: Then I lookdown, and I realize there's a phone... there.

Joey: Insteadof...?

Chandler: That'sright.

Joey: Never hadthat dream.

Phoebe: No.

Chandler: All of a sudden, the phone starts to ring. Now I don'tknow what to do, everybody starts looking at me.

Monica: And theyweren't looking at you before?!

Chandler: Finally, I figure I'd better answer it, and itturns out it's my mother, which is very-veryweird, because- she never calls me!

[Time Lapse, Ross has entered.]

Ross: (mortified) Hi.

Joey: This guysays hello, I wanna kill myself.

Monica: Are you okay,sweetie?

Ross: I just feellike someone reached down my throat, grabbed mysmall intestine, pulled it out of my mouth andtied it around my neck...

Chandler: Cookie?

Monica: (explainingto the others) Carol moved her stuff out today.

Joey: Ohh.

Monica: (to Ross)Let me get you some coffee.

Ross: Thanks.

Phoebe: Ooh! Oh!(She starts to pluck at the air just in front ofRoss.)

Ross: No, nodon't! Stop cleansing myaura! No, just leave my aura alone, okay?

Phoebe: Fine! Be murky!

Ross: I'll be fine,alright? Really, everyone. I hope she'll be very happy.

Monica: No youdon't.

Ross: No I don't, to hell with her, she left me!

Joey: And younever knew she was a lesbian...

Ross: No!! Okay?!Why does everyone keep fixating on that? Shedidn't know,  how should I know?

Chandler: Sometimes Iwish I was a lesbian... (They all stare at him.) Did I say that out loud?

Ross: I told momand dad last night, they seemed to take it pretty well.

Monica: Oh really,so that hysterical phone call I got from a womanatsobbing 3:00 A.M., "I'll never have grandchildren, I'll never havegrandchildren." was what?  A wrong number?

Ross: Sorry.

Joey: AlrightRoss, look. You're feeling a lot of pain right now. You're angry. You'rehurting. Can I tell you what the answer is?

(Ross gestures his consent.)

Joey: Strip joint!C'mon, you're single! Have some hormones!

Ross: I don't wantto be single, okay? I just... I just- I just wanna be married again!

(Rachelenters in a wet wedding dress and starts tosearch the room.)

Chandler: And I justwant a million dollars! (He extends his hand hopefully.)

Monica: Rachel?!

Rachel: Oh GodMonica hi! Thank God! I just went to your building and you weren't there andthen this guy with a big hammer said you mightbe here and you are, you are!

Waitress: Can I getyou some coffee?

Monica: (pointing atRachel) De-caff. (to All) Okay, everybody, this is Rachel, another Lincoln Highsurvivor. (to Rachel) This is everybody, this is Chandler, and Phoebe, and Joey, and- youremember my brother Ross?

Rachel: Hi, sure!

Ross: Hi.

(They go to hug but Ross's umbrellaopens.  He sits back down defeated again.  A moment of silencefollows as Rachel sits and the others expect her to explain.)

Monica: So you wannatell us now, or are we waiting for four wetbridesmaids?

Rachel: Oh God...well, it started about a half hour before the wedding. I was in the room wherewe were keeping all the presents, and I was looking at thisgravy boat. This reallygorgeousLamauge gravy boat. When all of a sudden- (to the waitress that brought hercoffee) Sweet 'n' Lo?- I realized that I was more turned on by this gravy boatthan by Barry! And then I got really freaked out,and that's when it hit me: how much Barry looks like Mr. Potato Head. Y'know, Imean, I always knew looked familiar, but... Anyway, I just had to get out ofthere, and I started wondering 'Why am I doing this, and who am I doing thisfor?'. (to Monica) So anyway I just didn't know where to go, and I know thatyou and I have kindadrifted apart, but you'rethe only person I knew who lived here in the city.

Monica: Who wasn'tinvited to the wedding.

Rachel: Ooh, I waskinda hoping that wouldn't be an issue...

[Scene:Monica's Apartment, everyone is there and watching a Spanish Soap on TV and aretrying tofigure out what is going on.]

Monica: Now I'mguessing that he bought her the big pipe organ,and she's really not happy about it.

Chandler: (imitating the characters)Tunaor egg salad?  Decide!

Ross: (in a deepvoice) I'll have whatever Christine is having.

Rachel: (on phone)Daddy, I just... I can't marry him! I'm sorry. I just don't love him. Well, itmatters to me!

(The scene onTV has changed to show two women, one is holding her hair.)

Phoebe:  If I let go of my hair, my head willfall off.

Chandler: (re TV) Ooh,she should not be wearing those pants.

Joey: I say pushher down the stairs.

Phoebe, Ross,Chandler, andJoey:  Push her down the stairs! Push her down the stairs! Push her downthe stairs!

(She ispushed down the stairs and everyone cheers.)

Rachel: C'mon Daddy,listen to me! It's like, it's like, all of my life, everyone has always toldme, 'You're a shoe! You're a shoe, you're a shoe, you're a shoe!'. And today Ijust stopped and I said, 'What if I don't wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna bea- a purse, y'know? Or a- or a hat! No, I'm notsaying I want you to buy me a hat, I'm saying I am a ha- It's ametaphor, Daddy!

Ross: You can seewhere he'd have trouble.

Rachel: Look Daddy,it's my life. Well maybe I'll just stay here with Monica.

 

Monica: Well, Iguess we've established who's staying here with Monica...

Rachel: Well, maybethat's my decision. Well, maybe I don't need your money. Wait!! Wait, I saidmaybe!!

[Time Lapse,Rachel is breating into a paper bag.]

Monica: Justbreathe, breathe.. that's it. Just try to think of nice calm things...Phoebe:(sings) Raindrops on roses and rabbits and kittens, (Rachel and Monica turn tolook at her.) bluebells and sleighbells and- something with mittens... La la lala...something and noodles with string.  These are a few...

Rachel: I'm allbetter now.

Phoebe: (grins and walks to the kitchen and says to Chandler and Joey.) Ihelped!

Monica: Okay, look,this is probably for the best, y'know? Independence. Takingcontrol of your life.  The whole, 'hat' thing.

Joey: (comfortingher) And hey, you need anything, you can always come to Joey. Me and Chandler live across thehall. And he's away a lot.

Monica: Joey, stophitting on her! It's her wedding day!

Joey: What, likethere's a rule or something?

(The doorbuzzer sounds and Chandlergets it.)

Chandler: Please don'tdo that again, it's a horrible sound.

Paul: (over theintercom) It's, uh, it's Paul.

Monica: Oh God, isit 6:30?  Buzz him in!

Joey: Who's Paul?

Ross: Paul theWine Guy, Paul?

Monica: Maybe.

Joey: Wait. Your'not a real date' tonight is with Paul the Wine Guy?

Ross: He finallyasked you out?

Monica: Yes!

Chandler: Ooh, this isa Dear Diary moment.

Monica: Rach, wait,I can cancel...

Rachel: Please, no,go, that'd be fine!

Monica: (to Ross)Are, are you okay? I mean, do you want me to stay?

Ross: (chokedvoice) That'd be good...

Monica: (horrified)Really?

Ross: (normalvoice) No, go on! It's Paul the Wine Guy!

Phoebe: What doesthat mean? Does he sell it, drink it, or just complain a lot? (Chandler doesn't know.)

(There's aknock on the door and it's Paul.)

Monica: Hi, come in!Paul, this is.. (They are all lined up next to the door.)... everybody,everybody, this is Paul.

All: Hey! Paul!Hi! The Wine Guy! Hey!

Chandler: I'm sorry, Ididn't catch your name. Paul, was it?

Monica: Okay,umm-umm, I'll just--I'll be right back, I just gotta go ah, go ah...

Ross: A wandering?

Monica:Change!  Okay, sit down. (Shows Paul in) Two seconds.

Phoebe: Ooh, I justpulled out four eyelashes. That can't be good.

(Monica goesto change.)

Joey:  Hey,Paul!

Paul: Yeah?

Joey: Here's alittle tip, she really likes it when yourub her neck in the samespotover andover and over again until it starts toget a little red.

Monica: (yellingfrom the bedroom) Shut up, Joey!

Ross: So Rachel,what're you, uh... what're you up to tonight?

Rachel: Well, I waskinda supposed to be headed for Aruba on my honeymoon, so nothing!

Ross: Right,you're not even getting your honeymoon, God.. No, no, although, Aruba, this time of year... talk about your- (thinks)-big lizards... Anyway, if you don't feel likebeing alone tonight, Joey and Chandlerare coming over to help me put together my new furniture.

Chandler: (deadpan) Yes, and we're very excited about it.

Rachel: Wellactually thanks, but I think I'm just gonna hang out here tonight.  It'sbeen kinda a long day.

Ross: Okay, sure.

Joey: Hey Pheebs,you wanna help?

Phoebe: Oh, I wish Icould, but I don't want to.

CommercialBreak

[Scene: TheSubway, Phoebe is singing for change.]

Phoebe: (singing)Love is sweet as summer showers, love is a wondrous work of art, but your loveoh your love, your love...is like a giant pigeon...crapping on my heart. La-la-la-la-la- (some guy gives her some change and to that guy) Thank you.(sings) La-la-la-la...ohhh!

[Scene:Ross's Apartment, the guys are there assembling furniture.]

Ross: (squattingand reading the instructions) I'm supposed to attach a brackety thing to theside things, using a bunch of these little worm guys. I have no brackety thing,I see no whim guys whatsoever and- I cannot feel my legs.

(Joey and Chandler are finishingassembling the bookcase.)

Joey: I'm thinkingwe've got a bookcase here.

Chandler: It's abeautiful thing.

Joey: (picking upa leftover part) What's this?

Chandler: I would haveto say that is an 'L'-shaped bracket.

Joey: Which goeswhere?

Chandler: I have noidea.

(Joey checksthat Ross is not looking and dumps it in a plant.)

Joey: Done withthe bookcase!

Chandler: Allfinished!

Ross: (clutching abeer can and sniffing) This was Carol's favorite beer. She always drank it outof the can, I should have known.

Joey:Hey-hey-hey-hey, if you're gonna start with that stuff we're outta here.

Chandler: Yes, pleasedon't spoil all this fun.

Joey: Ross, let meask you a question. She got the furniture, the stereo, the good TV- what didyou get?

Ross: You guys.

Chandler: Oh, God.

Joey: You got screwed.

Chandler: Oh my God!

[Scene: ARestaurant, Monica and Paul are eating.]

Monica: Oh my God!

Paul: I know, Iknow, I'm such an idiot. I guess I should have caught on when she started goingto the dentist four and five times a week. I mean, how clean can teeth get?

Monica: My brother'sgoing through that right now, he's such a mess. How did you get through it?

Paul: Well, youmight try accidentally breaking something valuable of hers, say her-

Monica: -leg?

Paul: (laughing)That's one way! Me, I- I went for the watch.

Monica: You actuallybroke her watch?  Wow!  The worst thing I ever did was, I-I shreddedby boyfriend's favorite bath towel.

Paul: Ooh, steerclear of you.

Monica: That'sright. [Scene: Monica's Apartment, Rachel is talking on the phone and pacing.]

Rachel: Barry, I'msorry... I am so sorry... I know you probably think that this is all about whatI said the other day about you making love with your socks on, but it isn't...it isn't, it's about me, and I ju- (She stops talking and dials the phone.) Hi,machine cut me off again... anyway...look, look, I know that some girl is goingto be incredibly lucky to become Mrs. Barry Finkel, but it isn't me, it's notme.  And not that I have any idea who me is right now, but you just haveto give me a chance too... (The maching cuts her off again and she redials.)

[Scene:Ross's Apartment; Ross is pacing while Joey and Chandler are working on some more furniture.]

Ross: I'mdivorced!  I'm only 26 and I'm divorced!

Joey: Shut up!

Chandler: You muststop! (Chandlerhits what he is working on with a hammer and it collapses.)

Ross: That onlytook me an hour.

Chandler: Look, Ross,you gotta understand, between us we haven't had a relationship that has lastedlonger than a Mento.  You, however have had the love of a womanfor four years.   Four years of closeness and sharing at the end of whichshe ripped your heart out, and that is why we don't do it!  I don't thinkthat was my point!

Ross: You knowwhat the scariest part is? What if there's only one woman for everybody,y'know? I mean what if you get one woman- and that's it? Unfortunately in mycase, there was only one woman- for her...

Joey: What are youtalking about? 'One woman'? That's like saying there's only one flavor of icecream for you. Lemme tell you something, Ross. There's lots of flavors outthere. There's Rocky Road, and Cookie Dough, and Bing! Cherry Vanilla. Youcould get 'em with Jimmies, or nuts, or whipped cream! This is the best thingthat ever happened to you! You got married, you were, like, what, eight?Welcome back to the world! Grab a spoon!

Ross: I honestlydon't know if I'm hungry or horny.

Chandler: Stay out ofmy freezer! [Scene: A Restaurant, Monica and Paul are still eating.]

Paul: Ever sinceshe walked out on me, I, uh...

Monica: What?.....What, you wanna spell it out with noodles?

Paul: No, it's,it's more of a fifth date kinda revelation.

Monica: Oh, so thereis gonna be a fifth date?

Paul: Isn't there?

Monica: Yeah...yeah, I think there is. -What were you gonna say?

Paul: Well,ever-ev-... ever since she left me, um, I haven't been able to, uh, perform.(Monica takes a sip of her drink.) ...Sexually.

Monica: (spittingout her drink in shock) Oh God, oh God, I am sorry... I am so sorry...

Paul: It's okay...

Monica: I know beingspit on is probably not what you need right now. Um... how long?

Paul: Two years.

Monica: Wow!I'm-I'm-I'm glad you smashed her watch!

Paul: So you stillthink you, um... might want that fifth date?

Monica:(pause)...Yeah. Yeah, I do.

[Scene:Monica's Apartment, Rachel is watching Joanne Loves Chaci.]

Priest on TV: We aregathered here today to join Joanne Louise Cunningham and Charles,Chachi-Chachi-Chachi, Arcola in the bound of holy matrimony.

Rachel: Oh...see...but Joanne loved Chachi! That's the difference!

[Scene:Ross's Apartment, they're all sitting around and talking.]

Ross: (scornful)Grab a spoon. Do you know how long it's been since I've grabbed a spoon? Do thewords 'Billy, don't be a hero' mean anything to you?

Joey: Greatstory!  But, I uh, I gotta go, I got a date withAndrea--Angela--Andrea...  Oh man, (looks to Chandler)

Chandler: Angela's thescreamer, Andrea has cats.

Joey: Right. Thanks.  It's June.  I'm outta here. (Exits.)

Ross: Y'know,here's the thing. Even if I could get it together enough to- to ask a womanout,... who am I gonna ask? (He gazes out of the window.)

[Cut toRachel staring out of her window.]

CommercialBreak

[Scene:Monica's Apartment, Rachel is making coffee for Joey and Chandler.]

Rachel: Isn't thisamazing? I mean, I have never made coffee before in my entire life.

Chandler: That isamazing.

Joey:Congratulations.

Rachel: Y'know, Ifigure if I can make coffee, there isn't anything I can't do.

Chandler: If can invade Poland, there isn't anything Ican't do.

Joey: Listen,while you're on a roll, if you feel like you gotta make like a Western omeletor something... (Joey and Chandlertaste the coffee, grimace, and pour it into a plant pot.) Although actually I'mreally not that hungry...

Monica: (entering,to herself) Oh good, Lenny and Squigy are here.

All: Morning.Good morning.

Paul: (enteringfrom Monica's room) Morning.

Joey: Morning,Paul.

Rachel: Hello, Paul.

Chandler: Hi, Paul, isit?

(Monica andPaul walk to the door and talk in a low voice so the others can't hear. The others move Monica's table closer to the door so that they can.)

Paul: Thankyou!  Thank you so much!

Monica: Stop!

Paul: No, I'mtelling you last night was like umm, all my birthdays, both graduations, plusthe barn raising scene inWitness.

Monica: We'll talklater.

Paul: Yeah. (Theykiss) Thank you. (Exits)

Joey: That wasn'ta real date?! What the hell do you do on a real date?

Monica: Shut up, andput my table back.

All: Okayyy!(They do so.)

Chandler: All right,kids, I gotta get to work. If I don't input those numbers,... it doesn't makemuch of a difference...

Rachel: So, like,you guys all have jobs?

Monica: Yeah, we allhave jobs. See, that's how we buy stuff.

Joey: Yeah, I'm anactor.

Rachel: Wow! Would Ihave seen you in anything?

Joey: I doubt it.Mostly regional work.

Monica: Oh wait,wait, unless you happened to catch the Reruns' production of Pinocchio, at thelittle theater in the park.

Joey: Look, it wasa job all right?

Chandler: 'Look,Gippetto, I'm a real live boy.'

Joey: I will nottake this abuse. (Walks to the door and opens it to leave.)

Chandler: You'reright, I'm sorry. (Burst into song and dances out of the door.) "Once Iwas a wooden boy, a little wooden boy..."

Joey: You shouldboth know, that he's a dead man.  Oh, Chandler? (Starts after Chandler.)Monica: So how you doingtoday? Did you sleep okay? Talk to Barry? I can't stop smiling.

Rachel: I can seethat. You look like you slept with a hanger in your mouth.

Monica: I know, he'sjust so, so... Do you remember you and Tony DeMarco?

Rachel: Oh, yeah.

Monica: Well, it'slike that. With feelings.

Rachel: Oh wow. Areyou in trouble.

Monica: Big time!

Rachel: Want awedding dress?   Hardly used.

Monica: I think weare getting a little ahead of selves here. Okay. Okay. I am just going to getup, go to work and not think about him all day. Or else I'm just gonna get upand go to work.

Rachel: Oh, look,wish me luck!

Monica: What for?

Rachel: I'm gonna goget one of those (Thinks) job things.

(Monicaexits.)

[Scene:Iridium, Monica is working as Frannie enters.]

Frannie: Hey, Monica!

Monica: Hey Frannie,welcome back! How was Florida?

Frannie: You had sex,didn't you?

Monica: How do youdo that?

Frannie: Oh, I hateyou, I'm pushing my Aunt Roz through Parrot Jungle and you're having sex! So? Who?

Monica: You knowPaul?

Frannie: Paul theWine Guy? Oh yeah, I know Paul.

Monica: You mean youknow Paul like I know Paul?

Frannie: Are youkidding? I take credit for Paul. Y'know before me, there was no snap in histurtle for two years.

[Scene:Central Perk, everyone but Rachel is there.]

Joey: (sitting onthe arm of the couch)Of course it was a line!

Monica: Why?! Why?Why, why would anybody do something like that?

Ross: I assumewe're looking for an answer more sophisticated than 'to get you into bed'.

Monica: I hatemen!  I hate men!

Phoebe: Oh no, don'thate, you don't want to put that out into the universe.

Monica: Is it me? Isit like I have some sort of beacon that only dogs and men with severe emotionalproblems can hear?

Phoebe: All right,c'mere, gimme your feet. (She starts massaging them.)

Monica: I justthought he was nice, y'know?

Joey: (bursts outlaughing again) I can't believe you didn't know it was a line!

(Monicapushes him off of the sofa as Rachel enters with a shopping bag.)

Rachel: Guess what?

Ross: You got ajob?

Rachel: Are youkidding? I'm trained for nothing! I was laughed out of twelve interviews today.

Chandler: And yet you'resurprisingly upbeat.

Rachel: You would betoo if you found John and David boots on sale, fifty percent off!

Chandler: Oh, how wellyou know me...

Rachel: They're mynew 'I don't need a job, I don't need my parents, I've got great boots' boots!

Monica: How'd youpay for them?

Rachel: Uh, creditcard.

Monica: And who paysfor that?

Rachel: Um... my...father.

[Scene:Monica and Rachel's, everyone is sitting around the kitchen table.  Rachel's credit cards are spread out on the table along with a pair ofscissors.]

Rachel: Oh God, comeon you guys, is this really necessary?  I mean, I can stop charginganytime I want.

Monica: C'mon, youcan't live off your parents your whole life.

Rachel: I know that.That's why I was getting married.

Phoebe: Give her abreak, it's hard being on your own for the first time.

Rachel: Thank you.

Phoebe: You'rewelcome. I remember when I first came to this city. I was fourteen. My mom hadjust killed herself and my step-dad was back in prison, and I got here, and Ididn't know anybody. And I ended up living with this albino guy who was, like,cleaning windshields outside port authority, and then he killed himself, andthen I found aromatherapy. So believe me, I know exactly how you feel.

(Pause)

Ross: The word you'relooking for is 'Anyway'...

Monica: All right,you ready?

Rachel: No. No, no, I'm not ready!  How can I be ready?  "Hey, Rach! You ready to jump out the airplane without your parachute?"  Come on,I can't do this!

Monica: You can, Iknow you can!

Rachel: I don'tthink so.

Ross: Come on, youmade coffee!   You can do anything! (Chandlerslowly tries to hide the now dead plant from that morning when he and Joeypoured their coffee into it.)

Ross: C'mon, cut.Cut, cut, cut,...

All: Cut, cut,cut, cut, cut, cut, cut... (She cuts one of them and they cheer.)

Rachel: Y'knowwhat?  I think we can just leave it at that.  It's kinda like asymbolic gesture...

Monica: Rachel!  That was a library card!

All: Cut, cut,cut, cut, cut, cut, cut..

Chandler: (as Rachelis cutting up her cards) Y'know, if you listen closely, you can hear a thousandretailers scream.

(She finishescutting them up and they all cheer.)

Monica: Welcome tothe real world! It sucks. You're gonna love it!

[Time Lapse,Rachel and Ross are watching a TV channel finishes it's broadcast day byplaying the national anthem.]

Monica: Well, that'sit (To Ross) You gonna crash on the couch?

Ross: No. No, Igotta go home sometime.

Monica: You be okay?

Ross: Yeah.

Rachel: Hey Mon,look what I just found on the floor. (Monica smiles.) What?

Monica: That'sPaul's watch. You just put it back where you found it. Oh boy. Alright.Goodnight, everybody.

Ross andRachel: Goodnight.

(Monicastomps on Paul's watch and goes into her room.)

Ross: Mmm. (Theyboth reach for the last cookie) Oh, no-

Rachel: Sorry-

Ross: No no no,go-

Rachel: No, you haveit, really, I don't want it-

Ross: Split it?

Rachel: Okay.

Ross: Okay. (Theysplit it.) You know you probably didn't know this, but back in high school, Ihad a, um, major crush on you.

Rachel: I knew.

Ross: You did!Oh.... I always figured you just thought I was Monica's geeky older brother.

Rachel: I did.

Ross: Oh. Listen,do you think- and try not to let my intense vulnerability become any kind of afactor here- but do you think it would be okay if I asked you out? Sometime?Maybe?

Rachel: Yeah,maybe...

Ross: Okay...okay, maybe I will...

Rachel: Goodnight.

Ross: Goodnight.

(Rachel goesinto her room and Monica enters the living room as Ross is leaving.)

Monica: See ya....Waitwait, what's with you?

Ross: I justgrabbed a spoon. (Ross exits and Monica has no idea what that means.)

ClosingCredits

[Scene:Central Perk, everyone is there.]

Joey: I can'tbelieve what I'm hearing here.

Phoebe: (sings) Ican't believe what I'm hearing here...

Monica: What? I-Isaid you had a-

Phoebe: (sings) WhatI said you had...

Monica: (to Phoebe)Would you stop?

Phoebe: Oh, was Idoing it again?

All: Yes!

Monica: I said thatyou had a nice butt, it's just not a great butt.

Joey: Oh, youwouldn't know a great butt if it came up and bit ya.

Ross: There's animage.

Rachel: (walks upwith a pot of coffee) Would anybody like more coffee?

Chandler: Did you makeit, or are you just serving it?

Rachel: I'm justserving it.

All: Yeah. Yeah,I'll have a cup of coffee.

Chandler: Kids, newdream... I'm in Las Vegas.(Rachel sits down to hear Chandler'sdream.)

Customer: (To Rachel)Ahh, miss?   More coffee?

Rachel: Ugh. (Toanother customer that's leaving.) Excuse me, could you give this to that guyover there? (Hands him the coffee pot.) Go ahead. (He does so.) Thank you. (Tothe gang.) Sorry.  Okay, Las Vegas.

Chandler: Okay, so, I'm in Las Vegas... I'm Liza Minelli-

End