tpo35

首先学习一下几个单词：
Amphibian 爬行动物、
whatsoever 无论如何
exercise 施行
frost-protective agents glycerin or glucose 防冻甘油和葡萄糖
acclimatization 驯化
by far 到目前为止
Nocturnal 夜间的

范文：
decreasing the exposure of famous people’s daily schedule will help protect the security of themselves as well as their fanatic fans
fanatic 狂热的
decreasing the exposure of 减少暴露recreational life 文娱生活

Famous entertainers and athletes are always the focus of media. People are curious about not only their achievements but also their private life. Recently, the view that famous public figures should have more privacy has been repeatedly discussed. I strongly agree with this proposal. Protecting the private life of entertainers and athletes can bring various benefits which are listed below.

To begin with, decreasing the exposure of famous people’s daily schedule will help protect the security of themselves as well as their fanatic fans. For example, Princess Diana died in a car accident when she was driving at a high speed in order to escape from the trail of dog packs. In addition, there are also too many stampedes in which enthusiastic fans cluster together to meet their idol. Sometimes, fans will influx into airports or railway station to pick up their idols. Thus will lead to horrific jam in public facilities and cause severe inconvenience to other people. Moreover, no one is perfect. So are the public figures. A famous actor could meanwhile be a drug abuser and a glorious athlete might commit adultery secretly. The terrible thing is their fans are often young kids who have not established their own standards to distinguish which of their idol’s behavior is worth imitating. All those conducts of their idols will be admired and imitated without screening. They probably will learn to abuse drugs or alcohol which is definitely harmful to their health. Therefore, merely exhibiting famous people’s outstanding side to the public can be a valid solution to those negative conformity effect.

Last but not least, children of the public characters also suffer from media’s over-exposure. The consequence caused by too much public attention includes limited freedom and overload pressure. Kids of famous entertainers and athletes will be anxious feeling many eyes watching them. What’s more, they may also grow up in solitude for their parents will confine their going out for fear of their safety – not only famous adults, their little baby could also be followed and disturbed by crazy fans. Every child occupies his own rights to have a happy childhood, not a stressful one. If the privacy of their parents could be well protected, it may be easier for them to lead an ordinary life.

修改后：In contemporary society, the recreational life of people have been enriched a great deal due to the development of media and communicative technology, and much of the entertainments come from entertainers such as singers, dancers, or even vtubers; besides, some athletes also attract the attention of both youngsters and olds. Besides being famous, these idols also obtained quiet a lot of financial feedback. This may lead some impressional person to draw a conclusion that it seems more just that the famous should pay more, like their privacy, to acquire so much reward. However, this opinion suffers from both logical and practical fallacies. Considering the following concerns, I strongly believe that the famous are deserved to be more respected on their privacy.

For one thing, it is not only the demand of ethics but also legislation that we need to protect the privacy of ourselves and others. The famous, though having much more income and reputation than us, are still huam beings, their privacy are definitely deserved to be respected. Birtney, one of the most famous and successful singer in America, had been suffering from the annoyments of paparazzi, eventually crushed and never put out her new album. That is a pity not only for her fans but also a loss of everybody. We do not want to see another so talented singer or anyone else to be destroyed again, therefore it is time for all of us to do some changes.

For another thing, by respecting the private space for the famous, they can bring better work or game apperance to us. Martin, the writer of ‘Game of Thrones’, is such a happy old man, so his work is always so delicated and being welcomed worldwide. Also, according to a survey conducted by Renmin net, one of the most prestigious media in China, 43 percent of the respondents claim that they may be delayed for a long while after being disrupted. Therefore, for our better entertainments, we should leave our idols some spaces to product something better.

In a nutshell, we should respect the privacy of the famous, becuase that benefits both them and ourselves. Anyway, there are one thousand Hamlet in one thousand people’s eyes, I hope the individuals who hold the opponent opinion could somehow compromise after exposed to this articel.