TPO38

亮点：
charisma魅力glamour
mastered 引申做学习
charge nothing 不收费。
in most cases can’t be acquired through special training在绝大多数情况下不能
subordinates/superiors 下属

范文：
Nowadays, leadership as an important factor in achieving success gradually becomes one of the most popular topics not only in college but also in various companies. Some people argue that leadership comes naturally while others hold that one can learn to be a leader. In fact, leadership is a general concept. It can be classified into two notions: leading skills and charisma. Leading skills can be learned but charisma comes naturally.
First of all, leading skills refer to several specific techniques which can be mastered after systematic training. These techniques include the decomposition of big goals, the use of incentive mechanism, proper distribution of work, tips on balancing the interests of various parties and so on. Experts in management field have already work out mature theories or principles in these aspects. With adequate practice, it is not difficult to use them skillfully.
Furthermore, even if without systematic theories, leading skills can be improved through the accumulation of practical experience. A man whose major has nothing to do with management can still become an outstanding team leader if he has the experience to be an organizer in his college clubs. How to make the whole team collaborate efficiently and fulfill the goal in a firm sometimes is common with the same thing in a university. In contrast, a person with no relevant experience will find it harder to lead a team at first. But he will make it at last after enough practice.

Nevertheless, differently from specific leading skills, charisma in most cases can’t be acquired through special training. This kind of glamour refers to the attraction which can cast positive impact on his subordinates. Such kind of attractive power comes from the leader’s nature disposition which is to some extent hard to change during one’s life and rich social experience which is impossible to get by merely absorbing indirect experience. In general, charisma comes naturally and only a few of us has this kind of spiritual attraction who make great contributions in human’s history. But for ordinary people like us, some useful leading techniques is enough for us.

We have easy access to these specific methods thanks to the Internet era. Knowledge spreads widely on the Internet. What’s better, a large sum of them charge nothing. Therefore, it is not difficult for us to become a qualified team leader. (389 words)

修改后：

In contemprory society, goverments as well as schools attach more and more significance on education. Under this circumtance, there appears an increasingly widespread discussion that if the cultivation of the comprehensive quality is essential? And how could we develope the unclear characterization such like perseverance, responsibility or leadership? Especially, some celebrities’ biographies somehow imply that leadership might be brought from birth, which might lead some impressional individuals to draw a conclusion that we can not gain this property by studying and traning. However, I, personally, disaprove of this opinion as these factors should also being considered:

For one thing, no ability could be bought from birth or naturally, on the contrary, it tightly related to the circumtance where an individual grown up. The only difference between us when we born is the gift such as the intelligence or the comprehension about the world. For example, before the 16 century, the nobles and plebeians are sharply divided, some noblemen argue that they are born to rule, and now we know that we are equal and free. Undoubtly, noblemen are more excellent than plebeians as a whole, but the reason why this difference appears is that peasants need to cope with the harsh work, the nobels, however, live much more freely and have the opportunity to get educated. Therefore, I believe every quality are much more related to the growing expereice rather than gifts.

For another thing, the leadershipment could be cultivated in several ways. For example, the teamwork, where members can discuss and figure out what they faced with a difficulty. Durning this process, some people apperas their ability in judgment, analysis as well as cooperation, which are both of great significane to leadership. Acccording to a survey conducted by Tsinghua University, one of the most prestigous university in China, 66 percente of the respondents claim that some of their classmates and friends, or even themselves, become a very outstanding leader durning the cooperation and discussion in the teamwork, even though they never realized that.

Additionally, some people can directly get the eperience ofvleadership when they are put on a relatively high position. This method is commonly used by the senior when they decided to train the person. This pressure will push the individual to learn and to adapt. It usually turns out the man could fit his、her position even if he was not suppoed to.

In a nutshell, the leadership could be cultivated and learned in the growing progress. Anyway, there are one thounsand Hamlet in one thousand people’s eyes. I hope peopel holding oppoent ideas could somehow compromise after exposed to this verb.