Cognitive Behavioral Therapy by Lawrence Wallace

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: 7 Ways to Freedom from Anxiety, Depression, and Intrusive Thoughts by Lawrence Wallace

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“It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.” – Aristotle

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Time’s healing ability comes from the law of entropy, which acts on everything in the universe, including the human brain. Entropy is a physical law in science and it explains why things change. One of the most empowering things to remember when facing any obstacle is impermanence. (When facing troubling times, say to yourself “this too shall pass”, and you will find it does.)

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“It is not impermanence that makes us suffer. What makes us suffer is wanting things to be permanent when they are not.” ― Thích Nhất Hạnh (Buddhist monk, teacher, author, poet and peace activist)

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Thoughts are always temporary and only ever exist in our minds!

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Nobody is born with negative thoughts; nobody is an anxious or depressed person. These are simply temporary states of mind that we experience more or less frequently throughout our lives.

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‘Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.’ – Marcus Aurelius

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“Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your own unguarded thoughts.” – The Buddha

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The best analogy I’ve heard to explain why opening to negative feelings when they arise is from Dr. Rick Hanson, (New York Times best-selling author) who describes negative feelings like someone knocking at your door, but when nobody answers, what do they do? They keep on knocking! Only when you open the door (paying attention to the feelings) does the knocking stop and peace prevail.

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“We can choose to throw stones, to stumble on them, to climb over them, or to build with them.” — William Arthur Ward

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“Don’t believe everything you think. Thoughts are just that - thoughts.” —Allan Lokos (founder and guiding teacher of the Community Meditation Center located on New York City’s upper west side)

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Jonathan Adler, a psychology professor working at Olin University stated that understanding negative feelings, accepting them, and making the right use of them improves mental well-being. Therefore, to turn tragedy into triumph, embrace even the most disturbing emotions with the virtues of courage and equanimity: then you’re free to convert them into something positive.

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David Burkus, author of ‘Myths of Creativity’ validates this technique by stating that returning to a challenging problem when you are feeling hopeless or angry is the best time to enhance your output.

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Brene Brown, author of ‘Daring Greatly’ states that shame increases when you isolate yourself, but it can never survive empathy, which is why you need to be around people and be compassionate towards them to overcome this feeling. It’s also important to realize shame is almost never a helpful emotion and is best switched to guilt. Why? Because guilt implies the opportunity for change and self-improvement. Whereas, shame implies an inward self-loathing which serves no other purpose than self-pity. Self-compassion when dealing these emotions is vital, as it allows us to forgive ourselves and others and move forward more easily. It reveals insight into how other might be feeling, giving us a better perspective on life and those around us.

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The Freedom Equation

Full-Engagement + Non-Attachment = Freedom

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There is an important difference between detachment and non-attachment. Detachment implies a pulling away or aversion to certain thoughts and feelings, whereas non-attachment is about not clinging any particular thought or sensation. Anxious thoughts often take the form of automatic or reactive thoughts. Negative thinking often occurs in the form of repetitive and unhelpful thinking. The common belief is to believe we’re able to analyze or reason our way out thoughts. In truth, this only serves to strengthen neuronal pathways associated with these thoughts. Overanalyzing is common among those suffering with anxiety, depression, and intrusive thoughts. But the good news is with committed practice anyone can break this loop of negative-automatic-thoughts and develop a wiser relationship with their internal dialogue. Please be kind to yourself and remember negative thinking is just a bad habit, which must be replaced by practicing good thought hygiene! Just as we practice good oral hygiene automatically by brushing our teeth, we can automatically learn to have positive thoughts and a wholesome relationship with ourselves. This is a process that takes time and gentle but sustained effort, as we come to a place of natural positivity.

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“No man was ever wise by chance.” – Seneca the Younger (Stoic philosopher, statesman, dramatist, and adviser to Emperor Nero – one the most powerful men in the ancient roman empire).

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“We are often more frightened than hurt; and we suffer more from imagination than from reality” – Seneca the Younger

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“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.” - Mark Twain

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“Don’t be bothered by thoughts; let them come, and let them go.” – Anagarika Munindra (Buddhist teacher) (This is simple, but not easy!)