and you're likely to get blasted

View full sizeAl Diaz, Miami HeraldOzzie Guillen is really, really sorry. Check. He didn't mean what he said. Check. He'll never do anything so thoughtless again. . Um, well, maybe not.

CLEVELAND, Ohio Who didn't see major issues ahead with Ozzie Guillen and Bobby Petrino, except, apparently, the people who hired them.

It's a shame Guillen and Petrino aren't involved in the same sport, or their employers could swap them out in a sequel to "Trading Places" and feign surprise all over when things take another unsightly turn.

Guillen is suspended for five games by the Miami Marlins after professing his admiration for Cuban dictator Fidel Castro in a Time Magazine story. Arkansas fired Petrino as football coach after he lied to the university about a motorcycle accident and was forced to admit an inappropriate relationship (and university hire) involving a 25yearold female employee in the athletic department.

Arkansas looked past character issues to hire Petrino. The Marlins ignored any number of warning signs in hiring Guillen to represent them in the community, across Major League Baseball and internationally.

"We believe in him," Marlins' president David Samson told reporters Tuesday. "We believe in his apology. Politics are a conversation I don't think you're going to be hearing more about from Ozzie."

Except before politics, Guillen made homosexuality a conversation topic in Chicago when he used a gay slur against a Chicago columnist. He had to explain himself to women after another incident. Guillen did enough to embarrass the White Sox over the years. Winning a World Series made it all go down more easily.

Just a week before the unfathomable Guillen quotes in Time, he presented a public image that most any organization would've found worrisome, especially one that had done its homework before hiring him. Guillen was in Cincinnati with the Marlins when he was asked what he does to pass the time on the road.

"I go to the hotel bar, get drunk, sleep," Guillen said. "I don't do anything else.

"I get drunk because I'm happy we win or I get drunk because I'm very sad and disturbed because we lose. Same routine, it never changes. It's been the same routine for 25, 28 years. It doesn't change. I don't like to go out."

Was that Ozzie being funny? Or Ozzie at his honest and clueless best? Had he sat in front of cameras Tuesday in Miami and blamed his Castro take on fullblown inebriation, some hotel bartenders Shane Vereen Authentic Jersey might've stepped forward to lend credibility to his explanation. Instead, he said he was really sorry (which is believable) and he said his words were misinterpreted because he was "thinking in Spanish and said the wrong thing in English" (which, um, is less believable).

Guillen now says he was trying to make the point that he couldn't believe Castro, who has hurt so many people, "is still in power" and that he doesn't share Castro's www.patriotsfootballproshop.com ideology. How anyone could be a 12year resident of Miami and not carefully choose his words about Castro is hard to imagine. Guillen's reputation hurts him as much as his words about Castro do.

He's always been Ozzie Unplugged, Ozzie Raw. He always means what he says, right? It's your problem if you can't live with it. Now he comes hat in hand, sorry . misinterpreted . really, really sorry, OK? . and did he mention something got lost in translation?

It's a hard sell in two languages.

Shocked, shocked Part II: Bobby Petrino

View full sizeGareth Patterson, Associated PressScrapes, scratches and insincerity have been way too evident around Bobby Petrino for years.

When Arkansas hired Petrino in 2007, it didn't take a FBIstyle. background check to track down his detractors. "Google" is all. Petrino left the Atlanta Falcons with three games remaining that season. With a foursentence goodbye note taped to player's lockers.

In fewer than 100 words, he undid the vow he made to Falcons' ownership 24 hours earlier that he wasn't leaving town. Seemed believable at the time. Who would leave during the season?

Answer: The same guy who secretly convened with Auburn officials during his first year www.patriotsfootballproshop.com/34_shane_vereen_jersey_authentic_black_limited_cheap.html at Louisville, then lied about it; the same guy who left Louisville for Atlanta less than a year after signing a 10year contract.

Former Falcons defensive back Lawyer Milloy called what happened at Arkansas "karma" in a recent interview with the New York Times, adding, "Just because he knows Xs and Os, that doesn't mean he's a nice person."

When Petrino crashed his motorcycle on April 1, he chose not to tell school officials that his bike carried a passenger. Or that he was having an affair with her. School officials knew her as the person Petrino had just hired to a $55,000 a year job in the athletic department after a quickerthannormal interview process. Imagine.

When he finally confessed the details of the accident and the inappropriate relationship, he did so to head off the release of the police report.

Arkansas AD Jeff Long fired Petrino for a "pattern of misleading manipulative behavior."

A 86yearold German woman did a parallel bars and floor routine at the Cottbus World Cup gymnastics competition in her native land in late March. Her amazing performances included several handstands and cartwheels.

Gymnast Johanna Quaas in action at the Cottbus meet

Take that, 85yearold Jamie Moyer.

An Arkansas fan showed up at the rally in support of Petrino. The fan carried a sign that read, "What's wrong with scoring in the offseason?"

Sometimes you're better off with no show of support at all.

Did Guillen say he loved Castro? Check that. He meant Venezuela's Hugo Chavez. No, make that Julio Cesar Chavez.

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