沟通常见问题

<摘要>

 

Assumption

Good communicators habiturally clarify assumptions during discussions at key points, such as when commitments are made, and confirm them again before the deadline.

 

Lack of clarity

There is no law in the universe claiming that others will understand what you're saying just because you understand it yourself. No matter how eloquent you may be, if the other person doesn't understand  you, then you're not eloquent enough for the situation at hand (as Red Auerbach said, "It's not what you say, it what they hear"). The nature remedy is to step back, slow down, and break down ideas into smaller and smaller pieces until a point of clarity is reached, and then slowly build up from it. Find a story or analogy to give a rough framework that people can follow, and add detail to it until you don't need the analogy anymore.

 

Not listening

The remedy is to alwasy accept the possibility that they know something important that you don't. Your goal is not to force them into a position, but instead to achieve the best possible outcome for the project.

 

Dictation

Giving orders has its places, but it should be the exception. Instead, strive to make decision in an enviroment where people have the right to ask good questions and propose challenges to your logic.

 

Problem mismatch

 

Personal/ad hominem attacks

Situation are often made person when one party shifts the discussion away from issue and toward an individual. This is called ad hominem (against the person).

It's up to a more mature person to intervene and separate the issue.

(Did you use ad hominem in communication? Check http://www.vandruff.com/art_converse.html )

 

Derision, ridcule, and blame

When a person has a new idea, she is making herself vulnerable to whomever she chooses to share it with. It requires a feeling of trust to be forthcoming and honest. If she is consistently ridiculed or demeaned int the process of communicating important but unpleasant information, she will stop doing it. The first response to a problem SHOULDN'T be "How could you let this happen?" or "You know this is entirely your fault, don't you?"