哈佛大学公开课《Positive Psychology 1504》学习笔记 - Relationship

1    Relationship is a nature need
1    Relationship is a nature need. No person is an island. No one can survive. No one can certainly thrive without relationships.
2    One of the reason why the extremely happy people have a stronger immune system is that they have thriving personal, interpersonal relationships – whether it’s with romantic partners, or with soul mates, or with family members, or all of the above. They have close, intimate relationship that makes all the difference.
3    First off all, when you’re happy, you share your happiness with someone close to you, who truly cares about – that enhances, amplifies your happiness as well as their happiness. That’s the win-win.
4    When you go through hardships and difficulties, having close relationships helps us overcome it.
5    The key though in relationships is to know yourself, meaning to know your needs. The number of relationships that you need that would be best for you – depends on your personal, unique needs. The number of hours you want to spend with other people differs for everyone. There’s no right or wrong here. Some people enjoy spending 10 hours a day with friends, while other people 2-3 hours a day is what they need.Both need close relationship, soul mates, romantic partners, family members – whatever it is. It’s a need.
6    Everyone benefits from relationships, men benefit more. Because for the first time often, men have someone they can share with, whereas women have more often, more likely have their girl friends whom they talk to about certain issues. Both sex benefit from intimate relationships.
2    Learning from what works
7    The reason of why there’re so many relationships end up when they start off with best of intentions is that people would be attracted by new things. The excitement will be higher when there’s a new person.
8    How can we create relationships that thrive? The first step is understanding what true love really means. Perfect love doesn’t exist, but true love does. True love exists between imperfect humans.
9    Ask the right question: What makes some relationships thrive and grow stronger over time? What can we learn and apply to our relationships? Let’s learn what works best – the best relationships that we can look at and study and learn from.
10    Very often it is later on that it becomes better.
3    Relationship is about hard work
3.1    Working hard
11    There are no short cuts, if we want a relationship to thrive, to succeed, we need to put a lot of work in it.
12    Finding a right partner is important, but it is a mistake to focus on finding. The more important part of a thriving long term relationship is the cultivation.
13    Relationships or finding the right partner, a good partner is of course important. It’s much more important to then cultivate that relationship.\
14    There’s more than one right person.
15    What makes relationship unique? It’s cultivating that one chosen relationship. It’s by virtue of working together, of being together, of spending time together, of dedicating one another, of spending time together, of dedicating
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