哈佛公开课《Positive Pyschology 1504》学习笔记 -- Change

1    6    Change
6.1    Types of change
6.1.1    Notes
1.    The first type of change is the gradual approach. This is the change of gradually chipping away excess stone. This is the change that we see in nature with the water sweeping away the stone, making it thinner over time, making it smoother. The gradual change. This is the change we mostly see in the world It's the healthy change.
2.    Then there is also the acute approach to change. The acute change, doesn't take much time. It happens immediately. But the important thing to keep in mind, with the acute change is it's not a quick fix. The acute change, very often, takes a lot of preparation, metaphorically speaking- You need a lot of strength to pick up the hammer and to have the power to put it down. So it takes time.
3.    Both take time. There is no quick fix. It takes time. It takes time to change. However, the change process can be as enjoyable, as fun, as exciting as ultimately achieving the change.
6.1.2    Reflection
改变可以润物细无声的改变，慢慢地，一点一点地改；也可以是大刀阔斧的改变，经过充足的准备，然后瞬间改变。无论是那种改变方式，都是需要时间，需要努力，不要期望可以一下子就可以改变，那些看上去可以一下子改变的，其实在背后做了很充分的准备，也付出了很多努力。
改变需要时间，需要耐心，而在改变的过程中，自己不断进步，享受改变所带来的快乐。
6.2    The factors to happiness
6.2.1    Notes

4.    The first factor is the genetic set range, not genetic set point, it's a range. We're all born with certain predisposition toward happiness and well-being. Some people are born more with, you know, the smiley face with the smiley spoon in their mouth; others less so.
5.    The genes matter 50 percent, not 100 percent—thank God—but 50 percent of the variance.
6.    People who don't work on their happiness even if they have the best of genes will not do as well as people with less happy genes who work on it. So work matters a great deal.
7.    The second thing that matters which makes up the hundred percent of variance of happiness is external circumstances.
8.    Of course, external circumstances make a lot of difference, whether we're living in a free country versus oppression. That makes a lot of difference. However, in general, external circumstances beyond the extremes, beyond being homeless on the street make very little difference, in fact, about 10% of the total variance.
9.    The third thing, the rest of the 40% is accounted for by intentional activities. What that means is what we do, how we act, what we think about, how we interpret the world, what we focus on.
10.    These intentional activities, our focus, these are essentially our ABCs. This is what real meaningful change comes. And this is where we are gonna focus. What makes the most difference that we have control over are the internal activities, our interpretation of the world and our action.
6.2.2    Reflection
影响幸福的三个因素：基因（50%）+外部环境（10%）+主观意向（40%）

6.3    Affect – The emotions

11.    The A—Affect, emotion, the heart, it's a connection between—and it's a more logical connection—linguistic connection between emotion, motivation, motion.
12.    The gradual change is a mindful meditation. Mindful meditation is arguably the most powerful intervention for bringing about calm and equanimity.
13.    Cultivating mindfuless can lead to the discovery of deep realms of relaxation, calmness and insight within yourself.
14.    They change the way our mind works, transform our brain just by focusing on the breath, by focusing on parts of our body, by being present.
15.    Along the emotion, experiencing the emotion, and just breathing through it. Often—it dissolves. And with it, with the emotional dissolution of the emotion comes also the psychological dissolution of this painful emotion.
16.    A peak experience: for the happiest moments of life, for experiences of ecstasy, rapture, bliss of the greatest joy. I found that such experiences came from profound aesthetic experiences such as creative ecstasies, moments of mature love, perfect sexual experiences, parental love, experiences of natural childbirth and many others.
17.    Peak experience is a shock treatment of ecstasy. Peak experience can quite literally lead to a new brain order. And again the jury still out on the research.
To enhance peak experience:
18.    First, permission to be human, acceptance, accepting emotions. Why? Because if we don't accept painful emotions, if we don't give ourselves permission to be human, we're blocking our emotional pathways.
19.    And positive emotions and painful emotions often flow through the same emotional pathways. And when we're limiting one, we're very often limiting the other. So if we open up the pathways, give ourselves the permission to be human and give ourselves the permission to cry when we're sad or ecstatic. When we give ourselves permission to experience painful emotions, we're more likely to experience the positive emotions.
20.    Mindfulness, being present. Lot of time when we are listening to music, for example, really listening to music, not just having it as background while text messaging, doing homework and talking to our friends. But when we really listen to music that we love, very often we have a peak experience being present.
21.    Having a meaningful goal. When we're on purpose, when we're doing things that we love to do, when what we are, we are doing is meaningful and significant to us, we're much more likely to experience peak experiences.
22.    Finally one of the greatest barriers in our culture—time. It's very difficult to experience peak experiences when we're on the rush, when we're stressed and anxious. These are peak experience killers.
To enhance the likelihood of PPEO once we have experienced peak experience:
23.    First thing—replaying an image. And then we reinforce it through replaying through imagination.
24.    Writing about a peak experience. When we journal about it, describing it, not analyzing it.
25.    And finally taking action which is how we can reinforce the initial experience of the peak experience, reinforce the neural pathways.
6.4    The behaviour – Take action
6.4.1    Just do it
6.4.1.1    Notes
26.    The attitudes affect our behavior. The behavior also affects attitude. It works both ways.
27.    The mind doesn't like when there is inconsistence between the inside and outside. The attitude is gonna be pulled down back to where it was before unless your behavior changes to match your change of behavior.
28.    We first make our habits and then our habits make us.
29.    Unless behavior is gonna follow, the attitude will go back and reflect your attitude and your behavior from before the class or before the intervention.
30.    Again behavior is more powerful than words.
31.    Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy.
32.    Very often even if we act happy, even if we act with high self-esteem, even if I act joyful that affects our mood. The question now becomes what about permission to be human. I can still accept my pain and experience it and still choose to act in accordance with how I deal more, most appropriate or most helpful. So faking it again because of the facial feedback hypothesis, because of the body feedback hypothesis, because of self-perception theory. The behavior will affect my attitude. I will actually feel better and healthy.
33.    Nothing will happen unless we bring about real actual behavioral change, real actual behavioral action. And when we do that, then the sky is the limit.
34.    Lasting, permanent change- attitude change has to be matched by deeds, by behavior.
6.4.1.2    Reflection
态度和行为之间是相互影响的，如果因为某件事情改变了我们的态度，但是我们的行为没有跟着改变，那么态度也很快就恢复到原来的水平，这也是为什么听完某节课感觉收获很大但很快又恢复到原来水平的原因。
如果想要真正地去改变，必须要行动，行动和思想同时改变。
当悲伤时，接受让自己悲伤的事实并痛快地流泪，然后，走出这个悲伤的情绪，假装自己很快乐，慢慢地，也就会变得快乐起来。
除非我们自己用行动去改变，否则没有任何东西会改变。
Lasting, permanent change- attitude change has to be matched by deeds, by behavior.
6.4.2    Coping
6.4.2.1    Notes

35.    Most of us most of the time are in our comfort zone. It's great. It's wonderful. However, when we are in the comfort zone, very little change happens.
36.     If you go beyond that, we get to our stretch zone. This is what we call the optimal discomfort zone. This is where change actually happens.
37.    Beyond that is the panic zone. This is where we have anxiety and difficulty. This is the place that is usually unhealthy. Unhealthy for change.
38.    The best way to be usually is in the stretch zone. When the task that you are doing, or whatever you are doing, is not too difficult nor too easy.
39.    Gradually out of the comfort zone. A little bit of stretch and then build it over time. This is the health way of approaching change.
40.    There has to be a bias for action.
6.4.2.2    Reflection

6.4.3    Change by creating a ritual instead of relying on self-discipline
6.4.3.1    Notes
41.    We all have limited amount of self-discipline. And the question is what do we used it on. You can be more successful and happier with the self-discipline that you currently have. How? If you change your focus from relying on self-discipline for bringing about change to introducing rituals. Changing your focus from self-discipline to rituals.
42.    Now the key is to give yourself time to create the ritual. You see, maintaining a ritual, requires some self-discipline, but not a lot. Creating a ritual requires a lot of self-discipline.
43.    Give ourselves 30 days to build the new ritual. And the key is to give yourself no more than one or two rituals each 30 days.
44.    It takes a lot of discipline to start a ritual, but once we start it, after a month when it's habituated, when it's grooved in, when the neural pathway has begun to form, then we can move onto the next ritual and introduce it, if we are ready. No more than two. Ideally one ritual.
45.    Rituals- very important and significant. The only way for lasting change.
6.4.3.2    Reflection
改变并且坚持，需要很强的自制力，比如，每天早上去跑步、坚持早睡早起等，如果没有很好的自制力通常很难坚持。但是，如果，我们形成了习惯，去做这些事情就像每天早上刷牙那样自然了。所以，如果想要持久的改变，最好的方法，是改变自己的习惯，让它成为例行公事的行为。当然，这也需要时间，尝试着花30天的时间用自制力让自己去养成一个好的习惯。改变一次一个或两个就够了，太多反而会分心，到头来什么都做不成。
6.5    Cognition: Thoughts Create Worlds
6.5.1    Cognitive reconstruction
6.5.1.1    Notes
46.    As we mentioned before, an interpretation is a neural pathway. If I interpret the world as a fault finder, the fortified neural pathway in my brain are the negative ones, these in experience and I go immediately to the negative interpretation and that gets reinforced over time.
47.    If I'm a merit finder, I would look the exact same experiences and interpret them very differently. Because I have very different neural pathways in the brain.
48.    Of course, there are consequences to how we interpret our experiences. Not necessarily that things happen for the best, but as a benefit finder, looking more at the, at the positive with each experience.
49.    Happiness, wellbeing, as we mentioned many times before, is not so much contingent on external circumstances, not so much contingent on our status or the status of our bank account. It's contingent on our state of mind. The thing that you'll remember though is that there are no shortcuts unfortunately.
50.    How we frame it can make all the difference.
51.    Examples of cognitive reconstruction:
A. Challenge or threat (Tomaka et al., 1997)
B. Arousal as euphoria or anger (Schachter & Singer, 1962)
C. Cooperation or competition (Ross & Samuels, 1993)
D. Volunteering as privilege or duty (Lareau, 2004)
E. Relationships about being known or being validated (Schnarch, 1997)
Primarily if we want long-term, successful, thriving, passionate relationships, the first objective, the primary objective is to go into relationship to be known.
On the first date, you don't want to reveal all your secrets. Doing it gradually. You know, thinking about it, but opening up more and more. And couples who over time open up more and more are able to sustain the relationship as well as their passion, over time.
D. Failure as opportunity or disaster
E. Work as exercise or chore (Crum & Langer, 2007)
6.5.1.2    Reflection
彻底的改变，在于自己主观的认知和对事情的看法，将事情换成积极的诠释。
6.5.2    Eureka experience
6.5.2.1    Notes
The Creative Process
A. preparation—immersion
B. incubation—idle time
C. eureka—insight
D. evaluation—reality test
E. elaboration—coherence

52.    There's a lot of talk, a lot of research, a lot of interest in this area of the Eureka experience, the ah ha moment, the insight- so valuable, so important. And there's much misunderstanding about it. Because people think we suddenly have this insight, not so. There's a whole process involved.
53.    And the process begins with immersion. This is when we prepare for the insight.
54.    Second stage: incubation. And you see all the creative individuals: after you immerse yourself in an area, you do nothing. You just allow it to marinate.
55.    I can do a year's work in nine months, but not in twelve.
56.    The importance for creativity of taking time off. The mind works and the mind needs it for the creative insight. Taking time in- invaluable. Not just for memory, also for creativity.
57.    Now the important thing to understand about this process is you have to go through preparation, incubation to get to the eureka experience.
58.    And then afterwards, after you've come up with the eureka, that’s when you evaluate. You ask yourself,‖ is this a good idea? Does it work? Evaluation is important. There are many idea out there- not all of them work. Or
59.    It really is about 1 percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration. No short cuts.
6.5.2.2    Reflection
灵光一闪的创意，都经历了很长时间的准备和付出。不要将自己的时间安排得太紧，给自己留些空闲的时间，闲下来去反思、发呆。悠闲，是为了创造。
6.6    Combining ABC’s: Journaling
6.6.1    Notes
60.    Just writing about how wonderful it is, re-experiencing emotionally what that was- that actually let you benefit. While describing and analyzing negative emotion would help to reduce anxiety over time. Both would help to strengthen our physiological immune system and experienced more happiness.
61.    So the first thing, the first reason why writing especially about painful emotions but not just painful emotions, the reason why it helps is because of tension. When we suppress unnatural phenomenon, it often intensifies. And when we give ourselves the permission to be human, we are much more likely to release it, to let go, which is why therapy helps, which is why sharing with friends, opening up helps, which is why journaling helps. This is the whole idea of suppression or repression.
62.    The second thing that is coherence. We create coherence out of experience. They make sense out of something perhaps before that was senseless. In other words, they created a story around their experiences. It's no longer dispersed, disjointed, disconnected data. Now it is a coherent whole. It's a story. Now I can deal with it.
The source of mental health:
63.    The first component: sense of comprehensibility- I understand the world. It makes sense to me. I see. I realize. I get it. The world and event, difficulties and hardships, highs and lows make sense to me mostly.
64.    Second, sense of manageability. I can deal with it. I can handle it. I have the internal as well as external resources to deal with it as opposed to being helpless. This is a sense of efficacy, of confidence- being able to deal with the hardships that arise
65.    The third and the final component that makes up the sense of coherence, is a sense of meaningfulness. This was not in vain- this difficulty. This failure was not in vain. I have learned from it. And I have grown from it. This mistake has reason- again, not necessarily happen for the best, but learning how to make the best of what happens.
66.    For all those who write a journal, I bet you can identify these three in your writings. This is what a journal does to a great extent. When we write and when we really write about our experiences, our difficult experiences, this is very often what comes up - have sense of coherence. I see. I understand. Make sense. I can deal with it. I can handle it. I have just found a path of how to do it. Even if dealing with it and handling it is writing a journal, and finally, it makes sense to me. It's meaningful to me now, whereas before, it didn't as much.
67.    So if you don't have a journal, you don't journal, it is certainly something that I highly, highly recommend.
6.6.2    Reflection
开始写日记。
6.7    Combining the ABC’s
68.    Let me summarize the whole change lecture: the A, B and C. The three are interconnected. In fact, if we want real change to come about, they have to be interconnected.
69.    Again, it's the process; it's not the outcome that matters more. The outcome will lead to a spike but will very quickly to go back to our base level. It's the process of actually doing those activities, the ant he Bs, and the Cs that will lead to a happier- not perfect, not happiest, but happier life. Over time, It takes time to carve out live statue, chipping away the excess stone, the limitations and building a beautiful life