I asked on Twitter today if it was "OK to be a dick as long as you were introspective about it?" I received a few responses, including one asking if I'd be more gender-neutral and pick a word like asshole instead. You can't please everyone. Forgive my language in this instance.
我今天在Twitter上问，“只要您内省一下，可以当个家伙吗？” 我收到了一些答复，其中包括一个询问我是否会更不分性别，而选择一个混蛋之类的词。 你不能取悦所有人。 在这种情况下，请原谅我的语言。
There's a lot of discussion on the Interweb right now about an individual in a technical community who used some imagery in a technical presentation at a technical conference that could be described as gender-insensitive. That's a Politically Correct way to say it. Another way to say it is that a guy used a porn metaphor and soft-core porn imagery in a technical presentation in front of a gender-mixed technical crowd.
现在，Interweb上有很多关于技术社区中某人的讨论，这些人在一次技术会议的一次技术演示中使用了一些图像，这被描述为对性别不敏感。 这是政治上正确的说法。 另一种说法是，一个人在性别混合的技术人群面前的技术演示中使用了色情隐喻和色情核心的色情图片。
Boiled down, the issue ultimately was not just about the images as it relates to gender, but rather that the images and the presentation metaphor was simply in poor taste. Certainly, taste in this context is subjective, but it's easier than you think to find the limits of good taste.
归根结底，问题最终不只是与性别有关的图像，还在于图像和表达方式的隐喻味道很差。 当然，在这种情况下，品味是主观的，但要找到好品味的极限比想象的要容易。
Dana Jones had this very erudite comment on a Rails mailing list:
丹娜·琼斯(Dana Jones )在Rails邮件列表中有一个非常博学的评论：
Imagine a presentation about recruiting developers for your firm with the analogous presentation: "Big Game Hunting", replete with pictures of dead animals smilingly displayed by the hunters who killed them. Hunting is a perfectly legal sport and one which I personally have no objections to (just as I have no objections to porn), but do graphic images that will likely disturb at least *some* audience members really have a place?
想象一下一个有关为您的公司招募开发人员的演示，类似的演示：“大型猎杀”，上面充斥着猎杀他们的猎人笑着展示的死动物的照片。 狩猎是一项完全合法的运动，我个人不反对(就像我对色情片不反对)那样，但是图形图像是否可能会打扰至少*一些*观众真正占有一席之地？
What about a presentation about writing code on deadline: "Delivering Like a Birth Mom." Or how about graphic images of up-close breastfeeding in a talk titled "Nursing Your Projects Along."
关于按时编写代码的演示文稿呢：“像出生妈妈一样交付”。 或者在标题为“一起护理您的项目”的演讲中，进行近距离母乳喂养的图形图像。
These parallel theoretical presentations of Dana's brilliantly provide the boundaries of good taste vs. poor taste in this context. "I know it when I see it" is a truism. But with all subjective opinion, one man's norm is another's outlier.
在这种情况下，达纳(Dana)的这些平行的理论阐述出色地提供了好口味与差口味的界限。 “我一看就知道”是不言而喻的。 但是，从所有主观观点来看，一个人的规范是另一个人的异常。
That technical community is discussing the issue and working it out. One of the related posts by DHH, the creator of Ruby on Rails - but not the presenter in question - had an interesting post called "I'm an R-rated individual." It's basically a disclaimer/declaration that he's loud and proud and may offend. Some folks believe Rails.equal?(DHH) but that's of course, short-sighted.
该技术社区正在讨论并解决该问题。 DHH是Ruby on Rails的创建者，但不是相关的演示者，与DHH相关的一篇帖子中有一篇有趣的帖子，名为“我是R级个人” 。 基本上是免责声明/声明，他大声而自豪，并且可能会冒犯。 有些人相信Rails.equal？(DHH)，但这当然是短视的。
This paragraph of David's post is excellent:
David的这一段非常出色：
Blending like this isn't free. You're bound to upset, offend, or annoy people when you're not adding heavy layers of social sugarcoating. I choose to accept that trade because my personal upside from congruence is that I find more energy, more satisfaction, and more creativity when the bulls**t is stripped away.
这样的混合不是免费的。 当您不添加沉重的社会包糖衣时，您一定会感到沮丧，冒犯或惹恼他人。 我之所以选择接受这种交易，是因为我个人的全心全意是，当公牛被剥夺时，我会发现更多的精力，更多的满足感和更多的创造力。
A lot of people are talking about personal brand and "image management" right now, and it's easy to say, "oh, so-and-so is a jerk." and write them off. The reason that paragraph is so insightful is because DHH expresses two things. One, he consciously chooses his path. +1 Wisdom there. And Two, he realizes there are consequences...it "isn't free." +2 Introspection. Like a guy/gal or not, but give them credit for deciding to be someone. Feel bad if someone is a jerk and doesn't realize it. I thinking living consciously and unapologetically is to be commended.
现在，很多人都在谈论个人品牌和“形象管理”，这很容易说，“哦，某某人真是个混蛋”。 并注销。 该段之所以如此有见地，是因为DHH表达了两件事。 第一，他有意识地选择自己的道路。 +1智慧。 第二，他意识到有后果……“不是免费的”。 +2自省。 不论是否喜欢男同性恋/女同性恋，都应赞扬他们决定成为某人。 如果某人是一个混蛋而没有意识到，那会很糟糕。 我认为自觉和无私地生活是值得赞扬的。
DHH's path is not for everyone. It's not for me. I believe one should avoid being overtly offensive whenever possible and appropriate, public or private. I expend a some amount of effort being a consensus builder (perhaps because I'm an ENFJ and DHH is, I'm guessing, likely an ENTP) and I think one can be real without being rude. I encourage others to do the same.
DHH的道路并不适合所有人。 不是给我的我认为，只要有可能，就应该避免公开或公开地公开进攻。 作为共识构建者，我付出了一些努力(也许是因为我是ENFJ，而DHH可能是ENTP )，并且我认为一个人可以是真实的而不会失礼。 我鼓励其他人也这样做。
However, it depends on what you feel strongly about and if what you feel strongly about outweighs what you believe others might feel. You need to be yourself, but you there ARE social norms, and others feelings, that should be considered.
但是，这取决于您对自己的强烈感受，以及您对自己强烈的感受是否胜过您认为别人可能会感到的感受。 您需要做自己，但是您应该考虑社会规范和其他感受。
@mstum on Twitter said: I'd rather have honest f-bombs than gentlemen hypocrites... Honest and direct people are so much easier to work with.
@mstum在推特上说：我宁愿有诚实的炸弹，而不是先生们的伪君子……诚实和直接的人更容易合作。
But can't one be an honest gentleman? Why is online (or offline) use of the F-word and general crassness somehow exemplary of "honesty?" If someone swears and slams their hand on a table in a business meeting I don't immediately think "Whew, finally an honest person!"
但是，不能做一个诚实的绅士吗？ 为什么在线(或离线)使用F字和普遍的粗鄙行为以某种方式代表“诚实”？ 如果有人在商务会议上在桌上发誓并猛烈挥舞着我的手，我不会立刻想到“哇，最后是个诚实的人！”
Being generally pleasant and helpful isn't sugarcoating, it's being pleasant and helpful.
通常，愉快和乐于助人不是糖衣，而是愉快和乐于助人。
@David_Ing said: Different worlds I guess. Reminds me of high school. Makes me feel old. Edgy douche is the new cool.
@David_Ing说：我猜是不同的世界。 让我想起了高中。 让我觉得老。 前卫冲洗是新的酷。
So where does it stop?
那么它在哪里停止呢？
I had this conversation with Ade Miller on Twitter:
我在Twitter上与Ade Miller进行了对话：
AdeMiller: @shanselman Would it be better to lie to conform to a set of social norms you don't believe in? http://is.gd/vcEZ · View Tweet
阿德米勒(AdeMiller) ： @shanselman撒谎以符合您不相信的一系列社会规范会更好吗？ http://is.gd/vcEZ·查看推文
shanselman: @AdeMiller if he was a nudist, should he show up to conferences and user groups nude? Post pics on his blog? · View Tweet
shanselman ： @AdeMiller如果他是一个裸体主义者，他应该露面参加会议和用户组吗？ 在他的博客上发布图片？ ·查看推文
AdeMiller: @shanselman That's reductio ad absurdum. A more interesting question is should he never admit to being a nudist so avoid upsetting plp? · View Tweet
阿德米勒(AdeMiller) ： @shanselman这是荒谬的还原。 一个更有趣的问题是，他是否应该从不承认自己是裸体主义者，以免惹恼plp？ ·查看推文
shanselman: @AdeMiller If he wants to sell software to the enterprise and lead a movement, yes. · View Tweet
shanselman ： @AdeMiller如果他想向企业出售软件并领导运动，是的。 ·查看推文
This may be a generation gap. I'm in my mid-30s and "social internet culture" for me doesn't automatically involve ending online arguments via reductio ad Hitlerum (Godwin's Law). Young people today (get off my lawn!) are largely more comfortable being unapologetically themselves online. I'm of a slightly older Internet generation that doesn't believe everyone is a unique snowflake and that if everyone behaves with a "this is me, like me or leave me alone" attitude then anarchy (ahem, or the internet) will emerge.
这可能是代沟。 我正处于30多岁的年龄，对我来说，“社交网络文化”并不会自动涉及通过还原广告希特勒( Hidlerum) (戈德温定律)结束在线争论。 今天的年轻人(从我的草坪上下来！ )在网上毫无疑问地更加自在。 我属于互联网年龄稍大的一代，不相信每个人都是独一无二的雪花，如果每个人都以“这就是我，就像我一样，或者让我独自一人”的态度行事，那么无政府状态(哼哼或互联网)就会出现。
People believe strongly about some things and less strongly about others, and you'll never get everyone to agree. I certainly don't promote being a push-over. If something is an injustice, then, by all means speak up. There are some folks in the .NET community that people consider abrasive or have written off as jerks. But see it from their perspective! For them, there is a great injustice, or a number of them, and social norms be damned! I deeply respect this perspective.
人们对某些事情抱有强烈的信念，而对另一些事情则不那么坚强，并且您永远不会得到所有人的同意。 我当然不提倡过分推销。 如果某件事是不公正的，那一定要说出来。 .NET社区中有些人认为他们是磨毛的或已被撇掉了。 但是从他们的角度来看！ 对于他们来说，这是一个很大的不公正现象，或者其中有很多是不公正的，社会准则也该死！ 我非常尊重这种观点。
For example, my wife is Black. If I post pictures of my wife on my blog, I risk alienating racists and folks against interracial marriage. However, that's a risk (hopefully small) that I'm willing to take, as I certainly feel strongly about it and I think I'm on the right side of history. I'm also a diabetic and I don't hide it. These are stands, small or large, that I'll take, as they are important to me.
例如，我的妻子是布莱克。 如果我在博客上张贴妻子的照片，则有疏远种族主义者和乡亲反对异族婚姻的风险。 但是，这是我愿意承担的风险(希望很小)，因为我对此深有感触，而且我认为我处于历史的正确位置。 我也是一名糖尿病患者，我没有将其隐藏。 这些是我要用的大小的架子，因为它们对我很重要。
You might knee-jerk and think that's a trite example. You might say "we're all too Politically Correct." This might be a true, but just because you want to avoid being Politically Correct doesn't mean you should email me and say, "Hey, how's your Black Wife? How's Diabetes sucking for you? Still blind?"
您可能会下意识地认为这是一个过时的例子。 您可能会说“我们在政治上都太正确了”。 这可能是正确的，但是仅仅因为您想避免在政治上正确就意味着您应该给我发电子邮件，然后说：“嘿，您的黑人妻子过得怎么样？糖尿病如何为您吸吮？还是盲目？”
A question on code comments showed up on StackOverflow this week, and the most highly-voted answer included the F-word. An "Edit War" ensued, with members of the community switching a code sample back and forth between the actual F-word, and various other forms like F*ck, Frick, and Foolish.
本周在StackOverflow上出现了一个有关代码注释的问题，而投票率最高的答案包括F字。 随后发生了“编辑大战” ，社区成员在实际的F字与其他各种形式(例如F * ck，Frick和Foolish)之间来回切换代码示例。
I swear occasionally. I can appreciate the F-word as appropriate punctuation while simultaneously realizing its crassness. I don't typically swear in meetings. It's conceivable I would if I could find the right situation. Most everyone who speaks English realizes that the N-word is off limits. Americans also have other words that we Just Don't Use, although the British do. Using them in a meeting is certain death.
我偶尔发誓。 我可以将F字理解为适当的标点符号，同时实现其粗俗性。 我通常不会在会议上发誓。 如果可以找到合适的情况，这是可以想象的。 大部分会说英语的人都意识到N字是不可逾越的。 美国人还有其他一些我们不使用的词语，尽管英国人使用。 在会议中使用它们肯定会导致死亡。
The point is that NOT using these words doesn't fundamentally make my life worse. DHH says:
关键是不使用这些词并不会从根本上使我的生活变得更糟。 DHH说：
"I find more energy, more satisfaction, and more creativity when the bulls**t is stripped away."
“当公牛被剥夺时，我会发现更多的精力，更多的满足感和更多的创造力。”
I respect that, and good for folks who agree. I respect everyone's right to say what they like.
我尊重这一点，对同意的人有好处。 我尊重每个人说自己喜欢的话的权利。
If you're a nudist and you give your technical talks on C# naked, I likely won't be there to watch your talk. You may feel REALLY strongly about nudism, and I wish you well. You may believe in the legalization of drugs and prefer to give your technical presentations high, and I say, kudos, but I and others may not show.
如果您是裸体主义者，并且裸露C＃的技术讲座，那么我很可能不会在那里观看您的讲座。 您可能对裸体主义真的有强烈的感觉，我祝您一切顺利。 您可能会相信毒品的合法化，并且宁愿高举技术演讲，我也说赞，但我和其他人可能没有表现出来。
There are some social norms, and you should know what they are and know how strongly you feel about them when you take your message to a larger audience. Know that there are consequences when what you value is broadcast in a larger context while promoting a technology. I've lost readers who have said I don't do enough deep technical content, or they find my "intensely personal" posts off-putting, but I'm conscious of my decisions and I feel strongly about the things I choose to discuss on my blog.
有一些社会规范，当您将信息传递给更大的受众时，您应该了解它们是什么，并且对它们有多强烈的了解。 知道在推广技术的同时更大范围内传播您所珍视的内容会带来后果。 我已经迷失了那些说我没有足够深入的技术知识的读者，或者他们发现我的“非常个人化”的帖子令人反感，但我意识到自己的决定，并对选择讨论的事情充满信心在我的博客上。
I respect DHH's perspective and others like him. Some are concerned that some edgy attitudes are preventing female programmers from embracing programming as a vocation. DHH says:
我尊重DHH和其他类似他的观点。 一些人担心某些前卫的态度妨碍了女程序员将编程作为一种职业。 DHH说：
"You certainly have to be mindful when you're working near the edge of social conventions, but that doesn't for a second lead me to the conclusion that we should step away from all the edges. Finding exactly where the line goes — and then enjoying the performance from being right on it — requires a few steps over it here and there."
“当您在社会习俗的边缘工作时，您一定要谨记，但这并不能使我得出结论：我们应该远离所有边缘。准确地找到界限所在，并且然后从正确的角度享受性能-在这里和那里需要几步。”
Again, another paragraph with layers. He knows where the edge is, enjoys dancing on the precipice jumping back. To dismiss him as merely loud and obnoxious is to do him (and people like him) a disservice.
同样，另一段带有图层。 他知道边缘在哪里，喜欢在悬崖上跳回去跳舞。 仅仅因为大声而令人讨厌地解雇他就是对他(以及像他这样的人)的损害。
I have set a level of what I consider reasonable professional conduct both online and offline. You should too. Know what THE edge is, know what YOUR edge is and know the effects of being near both. Decide what you feel strongly about and what you don't. Not everyone has the same norms, but everyone should know what the consequences are and measure them according to their own value system.
我已经设定了我认为合理的在线和离线专业行为水平。 你也应该知道边缘是什么，知道边缘是什么，并且知道靠近两者的影响。 确定您对什么有强烈的感觉，而不是什么。 并非每个人都有相同的准则，但每个人都应该知道后果是什么，并根据自己的价值体系对其进行衡量。
The advice that works for me is to avoid giving bile a permalink. Don't be a dick. If you are a dick, you don't get to complain when things go bad for you. There are consequences to all actions and they live on. They live on longer if you give them a permalink.
对我有用的建议是避免给胆汁一个固定链接。 别做鸡巴如果您是个鸡巴，当事情变得对您不利时，您就不会抱怨。 所有行动都会带来后果，并且它们会继续存在。 如果您给他们一个固定链接，它们的寿命会更长。
What do you think?
你怎么看？
翻译自: https://www.hanselman.com/blog/dont-give-bile-a-permalink-finding-balance-within-the-no-asshole-rule
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