IELTS-writing exercise Argumentation_Text_10

廉价航空服务+审题的要素

Q: Many people think cheap air travel should be encouraged because it gives ordinary people freedom to travel further. However, others think this leads to environmental problems, so air travel should be mire expensive in order to discourage people from travelling by air. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

介绍段

背景句

Low-cost air travel has enabled us to travel across borders at a lower cost.

我的立场

I think cheap flights benefit the masses, although we should avoid unnecessary journeys.

主体部分第一段

中心句

People who travel to different countries can have a better understanding of these countries and explore more career opportunities.

举例1

Some people can visit other countries where they can find better jobs and earn higher salaries.

举例2

Some small business owners can discover business opportunities during their trips and earn profits by exporting or importing products.

对比

They are likely to miss out on these opportunities, if the cost of flights is higher.

主体部分第二段

中心句（环境）

At the same time, some people argue that raising airfares can help reduce the environmental impact of the airline industry.

解释

Higher prices have discouraged people from travelling great distances to other places.

结果1

Greenhouse gases produces by airplanes can decrease if the number of air flights drops.

结果2

Other problems related to the aviation sector, including noise pollution and the environmental destruction caused by the construction of airports and other facilities, will also be mitigated.

主体部分第三段

中心句（健康）

Personally, I do not think it is necessary to make air services expensive to potential passengers, because they deserve an affordable holiday to relax.

解释

Many people, especially working people living in large cities, lead a hectic life and feel stressed.

结果

If air tickets are highly affordable, they can travel to some exotic locations on holiday.

举例

For example, tourists in China can spend a holiday some tropical countries where they can sample local food, instead of staying at home.

结论段

总结观点

Overall, it would be wrong to impose restrictions on air travel, and above all, cheap airlines can benefit the public. Air companies can turn to technological innovations as part of the effort to reduce the strain of the whole industry on the environment.

Model

Low-cost air travel has enabled us to travel across borders at a lower cost. I think cheap flights benefit the masses, although we should avoid unnecessary journeys.
People who travel to different countries can have a better understanding of these countries and explore more career opportunities. Some people can visit other countries where they can find better jobs and earn higher salaries. Some small business owners can discover business opportunities during their trips and earn profits by exporting or importing products. They are likely to miss out on these opportunities, if the cost of flights is higher.
At the same time, some people argue that raising airfares can help reduce the environmental impact of the airline industry. Higher prices have discouraged people from travelling great distances to other places. Greenhouse gases produces by airplanes can decrease if the number of air flights drops. Other problems related to the aviation sector, including noise pollution and the environmental destruction caused by the construction of airports and other facilities, will also be mitigated.
Personally, I do not think it is necessary to make air services expensive to potential passengers, because they deserve an affordable holiday to relax. Many people, especially working people living in large cities, lead a hectic life and feel stressed. If air tickets are highly affordable, they can travel to some exotic locations on holiday. For example, tourists in China can spend a holiday some tropical countries where they can sample local food, instead of staying at home.
Overall, it would be wrong to impose restrictions on air travel, and above all, cheap airlines can benefit the public. Air companies can turn to technological innovations as part of the effort to reduce the strain of the whole industry on the environment.

学习点

大作文中应该注意的审题要素：

1. 题目里是否出现了一个行为（action）、政策（policy）、趋势（trend）。
2. 题目里是否针对某个特定的结果（outcome\consequence）。
3. 题目里最关注的群体是什么（最受影响的是谁）。
4. 题目的类型是什么。（报告？论述？观点？混合？）

联系题目，解释下列要点

• 要素1：只能讨论航班的 事情，不能讨论其他的行为或趋势等。例如，不能说增加油价，或者减少人开车也可以解决环境问题，那就跑题了。
• 要素2：题目的第二句话制定了论述的结果，就是减少环境问题。那么当提高空航的价格，就一定要讨论环境问题一定程度上得以解决。
  如果说提高空航的价格会导致经常出国公干的人增加费用，减少他们公司的收入，那就跑题了。因为第二句话只关注环境。
• 要素3：这个题目最关注的群体是普通人（ordinary people），而不是航空公司，也不是政府，也不是普通人去的国家，因此下面这些观点都是错误的：
  1.增加航班价格，会增加航空公司的收入。
  2.减少航班价格，鼓励人们旅行和消费，增加政府收入。
  3.减少航班价格，鼓励人们旅行，促进某些国家的旅游业发展。
• 要素4：学生最常见的问题是报告类和论述类题目混淆。这个题目是论述类，那么第一个立场（廉价空航让人们更加自由地旅行）只能讨论其好处。因为既然这是某些人的看法，那么必定是这些人觉得这件事情有好处才会这么认为。

Improved Model

Low-cost air travel has enabled us to travel across borders more frequently than before. I think cheap flights benefit the masses, although we should avoid unnecessary journeys.
People who travel to different countries can have a better understanding of these countries and explore some opportunities to advance their careers or increase wealth. Some yonug people can visit other countries where they can find better jobs and earn higher salaries. Some small business owners can discover business opportunities during their trips and earn profits by exporting or importing products. If air tickets are expensive, these businesspeople will fly less frequently to other countries and miss out on some opportunities to grow their business.
At the same time, some may argue that raising airfares can help reduce the environmental impact of the airline industry. Higher prices will deter people from travelling great distances to other places. Greenhouse gases produces by airplanes can decrease if the number of air flights drops. Other problems related to the aviation sector, including noise pollution and the environmental destruction caused by the construction of airports and other facilities, will also be mitigated.
Personally, I do not think it is necessary to make air services expensive to potential passengers, because they deserve an affordable holiday to relax. Many people, especially working people living in large cities, lead a hectic life and feel stressed. If air tickets are highly affordable, they may choose to take a vacation in some exotic locations on holiday, such as tropical countries where they can sample local food and experience a differnent way of life, and get away from everyday life of their own countries.
Overall, it would be wrong to impose restrictions on air travel, and above all, cheap airlines can benefit the public. Air companies can turn to technological innovations as part of the effort to reduce the strain of the whole industry on the environment.