英语新概念2-回译法-lesson7

第一次回译

The plane was late.The detectives were waiting half a day.They were expecting a valueable parcel which had diamonds from the South Africa.Some hours before, a man had told the police men that someone would steal these diamonds.when the plane arrived, some detectives were in main building and other were waitting on the airfiled.Two men took the parcel off the plane into the _____.Two detectives looked the door at that time,other two detectives opened the parcel.To them surprised,there were stones and ____ in the parcel!

这篇翻译稀烂要重新翻译

1. The plane was late.

• 这句话没有问题。

2. The detectives were waiting half a day.
   • 修改为: The detectives had been waiting all morning.
   • 原文是“整个上午”，而不仅仅是“半天”。
3. They were expecting a valuable parcel which had diamonds from South Africa.
   • 修改为: They were expecting a valuable parcel of diamonds from South Africa.
   • 更自然的表达是 “a parcel of diamonds,” 表示“一包装钻石的包裹”。
4. Some hours before, a man had told the policemen that someone would steal these diamonds.
   • 修改为: A few hours earlier, someone had told the police that thieves would try to steal the diamonds.
   • “a few hours earlier”比“some hours before”更符合习惯用法，去掉“a man”和“policemen”，使用更通用的“someone”和“the police”。
5. When the plane arrived, some detectives were in the main building and others were waiting on the airfield.
   • 修改为: When the plane arrived, some detectives were inside the main building while others were waiting on the airfield.
   • 添加“inside”和“while”以增加清晰度和流畅度。
6. Two men took the parcel off the plane into the _____.
   • 填空处应为: Customs House.
   • 完整句子: Two men took the parcel off the plane and carried it into the Customs House.
7. Two detectives guarded the door at that time, other two detectives opened the parcel.
   • 修改为: While two detectives were guarding the door, two others opened the parcel.
   • 使用“while”来同时描述两个动作。
8. To them surprised, there were stones and ____ in the parcel!
   • 修改为: To their surprise, the parcel was full of stones and sand!
   • 使用“to their surprise”作为固定短语，正确填写“sand”并修改表达方式更为符合英语习惯。

第二次回译

The plane was late, detectives had been waited all the morning. They was expected for a parcel which had valueable diamonds. some hours ago, Someone had told the police men that some people want to steal the diamonds. When the plane arrived, some detectives was waitting in the main building and others was in airfield.Two people take off the parcel and come into the _____.At this time, two detectives was look for the door, other two take up the parcel. To be surprised, there are all stone and ____ in the valuable parcel !

GPT修改
The plane was delayed, and the detectives had been waiting all morning. They were expecting a parcel containing valuable diamonds. A few hours earlier, someone had informed the police that there was an attempt to steal these diamonds. When the plane arrived, some detectives were waiting in the main building, while others were on the tarmac. Two people took the parcel off the plane and into customs. At that time, two detectives guarded the door, while two others opened the parcel. To their surprise, the valuable parcel was filled with nothing but stones and sand!

1. 时态和语态的一致性：将“was late”改为“was delayed”以表达被动和延误的意味；使用复数形式和适当的进行时来描述事件。
2. 逻辑和表达的清晰性：使用“a few hours earlier”代替“some hours ago”以表达更自然的时间感；“waiting”代替“waited”表示在飞机到来之前的持续动作。
3. 词汇的准确性：“valueable”应改为“valuable”；“take off”通常用于描述飞机起飞，这里应使用“took…off”来描述从飞机上移除包裹的动作。
4. 地点的描述：“into customs”更准确地描述了目的地是海关区域；“on the tarmac”代替“in airfield”以更专业地描述飞机停机坪。
5. 句子结构的流畅性：调整了一些句子结构，使其读起来更为流畅和自然。