工具方法 - 用同理心倾听

Listen with empathy

以同理心倾听需要时间和精力，但这是非常值得的，因为它能建立你和说话者之间的关系。

当你观察一个有同理心的倾听者时，你会发现他们会反映说话者的情绪甚至肢体语言。

他们通常全神贯注于发言者，似乎不关心房间里发生的任何其他事情。

具有同理心的听众会全身心投入聆听体验，从而更好地理解发言者的情绪和感受。

因为我们前面谈到了内容，所以移情聆听者在聆听时会同时转述情感和内容。

这种倾听方式有可能在双方之间建立信任和尊重。

当你处理团队成员之间、向你汇报工作的员工之间的冲突情况时，或者只是倾听一位为某件事情心烦意乱的同事时，移情聆听都非常重要。

从眼前的专业同事扩大到客户领域。

如果你带着同理心去倾听，如果你对具有挑战性的情况表示理解，你就能化解情绪，甚至安抚沮丧的客户。

换位思考始于作为倾听者的你脑中的语言。

在倾听时，设身处地为对方着想，认同她的感受。

告诉自己完全沉浸在倾听的体验中，不要评判或分心。

注意你的非口头语言。

试着成为说话者的一面镜子。

如果你说话了，使用认可性的回应，比如 "我明白了，嗯哼"。

如果你确实以口头方式参与对话，可以使用句干，如 "再跟我说说 "或 "我知道你为什么对此感到如此不安了"。

"这是第一次发生这种事吗？或者，"我也会感到沮丧。

"接下来发生了什么？" 在倾听的过程中，记住要尊重说话者的感受，不要使用任何会贬低他们感受的措辞，如 "没那么糟糕"、"别为这事这么沮丧 "或 "一切都会好起来的"。

如果你不精通移情聆听，它可能会消耗你的情绪。

经常练习会提高你的技巧，我的建议是在不会太消耗你情绪的情况下进行。

例如，倾听一位足球家长抱怨她儿子的教练，而不是你的教练；倾听一位年轻人谈论她朋友圈里发生的戏剧性事件；或者倾听一位邻居谈论她的工作状况。

以同理心倾听会让你在工作和个人生活中脱颖而出。

如果你想成为一个整体上更好的沟通者，请确定什么时候有必要这样做，并将你的技巧付诸行动。

Listening with empathy takes time and energy, but it's well worth it, as it builds the relationship between you and the speaker.

When you watch an empathetic listener, you see them mirroring the emotion and even body language of the speaker.

They usually are laser-focused on their speaker, and they seem to not care about anything else that's happening in the room.

Empathetic listeners pour themselves into the listening experience so that they can better understand the speaker's emotions and their feelings.

Since we talked about content earlier, a listener in an empathetic situation listens and paraphrases both emotion and content.

This is a type of listening that has the potential to build trust and respect among both parties.

Empathetic listening is important when you deal with conflict situations, among members of your teams, with staff who report to you, or just listening to a colleague who is distraught about an issue.

Expand past the immediate circle of professional colleagues to the realm of customers.

If you listen with empathy, if you show understanding for a challenging situation, you can diffuse emotion, or even calm a frustrated customer.

Empathy starts with the language that's going on in your head as the listener.

While you listen, put yourself in that person's shoes and identify with her feelings.

Tell yourself to completely immerse in the listening experience without judging or becoming distracted.

Mind your nonverbals.

Try to be a mirror to the speaker.

And if you speak, use acknowledging responses, such as "I see, uh-huh."

If you do verbally participate in the conversation, use sentence stems, such as, "Tell me more about that," or, "I can see why you feel so upset about this.

"Is that the first time this happened?" Or, "I would be frustrated too.

"What happened next?" As you listen, remember to honor the speaker's feelings, and don't use any phrases that would discount them, such as, "That's not that bad," "Don't get so upset over this," or, "It's all going to be fine."

Empathetic listening can be emotionally draining if you're not well-versed in it.

Practicing often will improve your skills, and my suggestion is that you do it in situations that are not too emotionally draining to you.

For example, listen to a soccer parent complain about her son's coach, not yours, listen to a young adult talk about the drama created in her circle of friends, or a neighbor talk about her situation at work.

Listening with empathy will set you apart in the workplace and your personal life.

Identify when it's necessary and put your skills in action if you want to be an overall better communicator.