12-4 Relationship advice

romantic relationship恋爱？
I’m all ears洗耳恭听
cheating on劈腿
hanging out出去玩
clingy黏人的
red flags危险信号
break his trust失去信任
date around到处约会
cool with接受

How to give your friends relationship advice

如何给朋友恋爱方面的建议

Meredith Goldstein is an advice columnist and entertainment reporter for The Boston Globe. Here are her suggestions on how to give your friends the best advice possible.

Meredith Goldstein是《波士顿环球报》的建议专栏作家和娱乐记者。以下是她关于如何给你朋友最好意见的一些建议。

1. You don’t need personal experience to give great advice

好的建议并不需要结合个人经验

In fact, Goldstein says you might be better off without it. “One danger of giving advice is projecting your own experiences,” she says. Your opinions might be even more useful if you’re approaching a situation with fresh eyes.

事实上，Goldstein称如果你不凭借个人经验给建议的话效果会更好。她说道，“给人建议的一个雷点在于投射你自己的经历”。如果你用全新的眼光来看待问题，你的观点可能会更有用。

2. Listen more, talk less

少说话，多聆听

Rather than worrying about coming up with one flawless piece of advice, focus your energy on being a good listener. “The friend isn’t looking for a yes or no answer,” Goldstein explains. "They’re looking for time and space to process the reasons for their feelings. "

与其担心自己能否想出一条完美无瑕的建议，不如把精力放在当一个好的倾听者上。Goldstein解释说：“寻求建议的朋友并不想要一个肯定或否定的答案“，“他们在寻求时间和空间来处理导致这些情感出现的原因。”

3. Watch out for your own personal biases and fears

当心你的个人偏见和恐惧

“You don’t want to bring your agenda to your advice as a friend,” Goldstein warns. Before you offer advice, consider where that advice is coming from and why you feel the way you do. If your two cents stem from feelings of insecurity, jealousy, or FOMO, that might not be advice your friend really needs to hear right now.

Goldstein警告说：“作为朋友，你不会想把你的个人动机放入建议中。”在你提供建议之前，考虑一下这些建议从何而来，以及你为什么会有这种感觉。如果你的意见来自于不安全感、嫉妒感或社交恐惧症，这可能不是你的朋友现在真正需要听到的建议。

Source:

https://www.elitedaily.com/p/how-to-give-your-friends-relationship-advice-according-to-advice-columnist-8655555

http://meredithgoldstein.com/